Social Anxiety Support

akstylish · 10-04-2009, 06:02 PM

As I see my therapist more, it's getting frustrating to talk to her. I have nothing much to talk about because we already have discussed on about all strategies to cope with SA. We can't move onto the next step either since there is no/extremely little improvement until the next visit. So she either repeats the same thing she said before or just sits there quietly, struggling to find something to talk about like I do. It feels like I'm wasting money.

Breakfast0fChampions · 10-04-2009, 08:34 PM

I'm having the same problem, except my therapist hasn't been consistent at all with what she expects from me and she often asks me questions she's already asked in previous visits. I don't know if she thinks I've already got the cognitive part down, because I realize my fears and behaviors are silly, or if she just doesn't know what on earth she's doing. The basic attitude I've been getting from her is "Talk yourself into it and go out and make friends/volunteer/etc!" If things don't improve once I tell her how frustrated I am then I'll have to go see someone else.

I think perhaps you should look for someone else, unless she's been giving you 'homework' (exposures) that you haven't been doing - then I would try doing that.

kc1895 · 10-04-2009, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breakfast0fChampions

I'm having the same problem, except my therapist hasn't been consistent at all with what she expects from me and she often asks me questions she's already asked in previous visits. I don't know if she thinks I've already got the cognitive part down, because I realize my fears and behaviors are silly, or if she just doesn't know what on earth she's doing. The basic attitude I've been getting from her is "Talk yourself into it and go out and make friends/volunteer/etc!" If things don't improve once I tell her how frustrated I am then I'll have to go see someone else.

I think perhaps you should look for someone else, unless she's been giving you 'homework' (exposures) that you haven't been doing - then I would try doing that.

Wow, I feel almost the same way! My therapist is very passive and expects me to make all the decisions on my own and know what to do. She repeats the same things over again like "there's a million excuses you can come up with to not do such and such... but you have to decide what's important for you", everytime I tell her why I avoid a social situation. I'm not sure if she remembers telling me these things she's said over and over again, or just not doing their homework!! I just hate it when people forget about me.

icefish · 10-10-2009, 10:03 PM

When I had my first therapist years ago, he was recommended by my girlfriend's mom, who she saw when going through a divorce.
He definitly helped initially- a relief to have someone to talk to and understand my extreme anxiety and problems.
But we hit a plateau fairly soon- There just wasn't anything else for him to teach me, help me, etc. I think he became frustrated with me. And I did go see another therapist (a student) to get an opinion on him, and he said he was a very respected doctor, he had read a lot of papers he wrote, etc.
But I ended up looking for a new one. and followed the suggestion in a book- Call the Psychological Accosiation, get 3 recomendations, and 'interview' them- ask them what their treatment would be like, what kind of a therapist are they (cognitive, etc.), and, very important, see if you have a chemistry with them.
I did the above, and was blessed to find someone who was right for me, in several ways.

It makes sense- not the greatest analogy, but akin to looking for a new car- you wouldn't go look at just 1, would you? You would compare.

JMX · 10-10-2009, 11:36 PM

It wasn't necessarily "therapy" because I only saw her once, (it was at the very end of the semester) but it had its ups and downs. I liked the fact that she took everything I said seriously, and she was very open-minded. What I didn't like was that I could tell she was acting things out a little. When I tell her something negative about my life, she would say "wow, that must be very difficult for you" but I can tell in the tone of her voice that she was faking it. Still, it was just one therapy session almost 5 months ago, and I'm thinking about seeing her again sometime this week.

Phibes · 10-11-2009, 11:52 PM

Going to therapy would be scary.

dvod88 · 10-12-2009, 03:40 PM

I've often found it helpful to use my therapist as a sounding board for ideas I have about recovery. For example ive been reading a book about so called "positive self talk" and have been using my therapist to come up with the conterstatments that go with my negative thoughts.

The main thing for me has been to realize that the therapist is here for me, to do what I need. SAD is probably the worst disorder for talk therapy, since talking is what we have a problem with. But I have found that doing some of my own homework about what we should be talking about has really helped. And I am making slow progress in this way.

ChrisWasNotThere · 10-12-2009, 05:02 PM

I love going to therapy, I find it hard to sit down and talk about what lies ahead of me to my parents. I feel so much better when I express everything that I'm feeling whether it be anger from a particular situation or even a small achievement.

bowlingpins · 10-12-2009, 08:11 PM

I have been to one therapy session, couldn't attend more because of cost. All I did was talk, I am not even sure the therapist was listening. I was unimpressed but it is not fair to judge based on a single session.
I feel that by doing a bit of reading and using self help books, it is possible to get similar results as with a professional.

meyaj · 10-12-2009, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChrisWasNotThere

I love going to therapy, I find it hard to sit down and talk about what lies ahead of me to my parents. I feel so much better when I express everything that I'm feeling whether it be anger from a particular situation or even a small achievement.

Me too, good to know I'm not alone here!

Therapy is pretty much the only thing I can look forward to these days. It took me the better part of a year to warm up to my therapist but now that I'm at a point where I can talk to her without feeling judged, I find it to be really fun and refreshing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bowlingpins

I have been to one therapy session, couldn't attend more because of cost. All I did was talk, I am not even sure the therapist was listening. I was unimpressed but it is not fair to judge based on a single session.

That really sucks to hear. I probably wouldn't be able to afford it either. I count myself really fortunate to live in a country where I can see a therapist for free, and not have to weigh my mental health against my finances.

kc1895 · 10-12-2009, 09:19 PM

I'm wondering what other people really talk about in therapy? Sometimes I like to jump on a variety of subjects like past experiences, childhood, current status, future plans, etc. all in one session. I feel like sometimes we exhaust a topic quite easily or run out of things to talk about. Do people normally dwell on one thing or cover a variety of topics like I do?

Half_A_Person · 10-14-2009, 01:47 PM

Sometimes my therapy sessions are helpful, other times I leave feeling even more depressed. I usually have something I want to talk about with my therapist.

If you're feeling you're not getting anywhere, try either taking a break from therapy or switching therapists. Or maybe go to therapy less often. I used to go once a week but now I go once every other week and I find that the sessions are much more effective now.

10-04-2009, 06:02 PM	#1 (permalink)
akstylish Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Georgia Age: 21 Posts: 698	How does your therapy session go? As I see my therapist more, it's getting frustrating to talk to her. I have nothing much to talk about because we already have discussed on about all strategies to cope with SA. We can't move onto the next step either since there is no/extremely little improvement until the next visit. So she either repeats the same thing she said before or just sits there quietly, struggling to find something to talk about like I do. It feels like I'm wasting money. __________________ Currently on: Xanax, Lamictal Tried: Valium, Ativan, Klonopin, Zoloft, Inderal, Paxil, Celexa, Lexapro, Emsam, Prozac, Remeron, Seroquel, Zyprexa, Abilify, Pristiq

10-04-2009, 08:34 PM	#2 (permalink)
Breakfast0fChampions Status: Resist. Unlearn. Defy. Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: In My Tree Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 671	I'm having the same problem, except my therapist hasn't been consistent at all with what she expects from me and she often asks me questions she's already asked in previous visits. I don't know if she thinks I've already got the cognitive part down, because I realize my fears and behaviors are silly, or if she just doesn't know what on earth she's doing. The basic attitude I've been getting from her is "Talk yourself into it and go out and make friends/volunteer/etc!" If things don't improve once I tell her how frustrated I am then I'll have to go see someone else. I think perhaps you should look for someone else, unless she's been giving you 'homework' (exposures) that you haven't been doing - then I would try doing that. __________________ I'mma do the things that I wanna do I ain't got a thing to prove to you - Weezer, Pork and Beans Had my eyes peeled both wide open, and I got a glimpse Of my innocence... got back my inner sense... Baby got it, still got it - Pearl Jam, In My Tree Facebook - SuperBetter! A multi-player way to beat SA - Writerly

10-14-2009, 01:47 PM	#12 (permalink)
Half_A_Person Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: SF Bay Area Gender: Female Age: 17 Posts: 349	Sometimes my therapy sessions are helpful, other times I leave feeling even more depressed. I usually have something I want to talk about with my therapist. If you're feeling you're not getting anywhere, try either taking a break from therapy or switching therapists. Or maybe go to therapy less often. I used to go once a week but now I go once every other week and I find that the sessions are much more effective now. __________________ "There will always be something to ruin our lives, it all depends on what or which finds us first. We are always ripe and ready to be taken."

10-10-2009, 10:03 PM	#4 (permalink)
icefish Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Cleveland, Ohio Posts: 15	When I had my first therapist years ago, he was recommended by my girlfriend's mom, who she saw when going through a divorce. He definitly helped initially- a relief to have someone to talk to and understand my extreme anxiety and problems. But we hit a plateau fairly soon- There just wasn't anything else for him to teach me, help me, etc. I think he became frustrated with me. And I did go see another therapist (a student) to get an opinion on him, and he said he was a very respected doctor, he had read a lot of papers he wrote, etc. But I ended up looking for a new one. and followed the suggestion in a book- Call the Psychological Accosiation, get 3 recomendations, and 'interview' them- ask them what their treatment would be like, what kind of a therapist are they (cognitive, etc.), and, very important, see if you have a chemistry with them. I did the above, and was blessed to find someone who was right for me, in several ways. It makes sense- not the greatest analogy, but akin to looking for a new car- you wouldn't go look at just 1, would you? You would compare.

10-10-2009, 11:36 PM	#5 (permalink)
JMX Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Indiana Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 299	It wasn't necessarily "therapy" because I only saw her once, (it was at the very end of the semester) but it had its ups and downs. I liked the fact that she took everything I said seriously, and she was very open-minded. What I didn't like was that I could tell she was acting things out a little. When I tell her something negative about my life, she would say "wow, that must be very difficult for you" but I can tell in the tone of her voice that she was faking it. Still, it was just one therapy session almost 5 months ago, and I'm thinking about seeing her again sometime this week.

10-11-2009, 11:52 PM	#6 (permalink)
Phibes Status: blessed with lucky sevens Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Brisbane, Australia. Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 638	Going to therapy would be scary.

10-12-2009, 03:40 PM	#7 (permalink)
dvod88 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: NC, USA Gender: Male Age: 30 Posts: 5	I've often found it helpful to use my therapist as a sounding board for ideas I have about recovery. For example ive been reading a book about so called "positive self talk" and have been using my therapist to come up with the conterstatments that go with my negative thoughts. The main thing for me has been to realize that the therapist is here for me, to do what I need. SAD is probably the worst disorder for talk therapy, since talking is what we have a problem with. But I have found that doing some of my own homework about what we should be talking about has really helped. And I am making slow progress in this way.

10-12-2009, 05:02 PM	#8 (permalink)
ChrisWasNotThere Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Canada Gender: Male Age: 18 Posts: 68	I love going to therapy, I find it hard to sit down and talk about what lies ahead of me to my parents. I feel so much better when I express everything that I'm feeling whether it be anger from a particular situation or even a small achievement.

10-12-2009, 08:11 PM	#9 (permalink)
bowlingpins Status: Temporarily Banned Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 557	I have been to one therapy session, couldn't attend more because of cost. All I did was talk, I am not even sure the therapist was listening. I was unimpressed but it is not fair to judge based on a single session. I feel that by doing a bit of reading and using self help books, it is possible to get similar results as with a professional.

10-12-2009, 09:19 PM	#11 (permalink)
kc1895 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Los Angeles Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 61	I'm wondering what other people really talk about in therapy? Sometimes I like to jump on a variety of subjects like past experiences, childhood, current status, future plans, etc. all in one session. I feel like sometimes we exhaust a topic quite easily or run out of things to talk about. Do people normally dwell on one thing or cover a variety of topics like I do?