Social Anxiety Support

rachelynn · 08-27-2009, 01:16 AM

I NEVER look at my counselor when in a session. It's actually getting annoying that I have to look down at the floor or my notebook or something else, but I can't look at her. I kind of dont even know what is "normal" for eye contact when talking to someone in a setting like that! And if I even felt like I could do so, I don't know if I would now that it's like set that it's obvious I don't make eye contact at all....she mentioned it a few weeks ago.

strawberryjulius · 08-27-2009, 02:50 AM

I have trouble making eye-contact with my psychologist, especially when I'm trying to think of what to say.

slkjao · 08-27-2009, 03:25 AM

i cant make eye contact when im thinking of something to say but im ok when the person is talking. Sometimes the thought going through my head is, "how long should i make eye contact for. thinking about this gets me anxious. ive had the problem where i was staring at someone for to long and got snapped at. Maybe this is why i dont like making eye contact ...being to sensitive? what a bummer.

Genelle · 08-27-2009, 04:07 AM

I don't like making eye contact.. I do, but when I do, all I'm thinking is 'I'm making eye contact, it's awkward, should I look away?'
And then I'm not even listening to what the person is saying because I'm too worried about eye contact.

Auron · 08-27-2009, 04:12 AM

I have the same problem talking to my phychiatrist, which i stopped seeing. Same with my college councelor. It causes great discomfort to share very personal experiences to a stranger. That i think is the reason why i struggle to keep eye contact with them.

Ospi · 08-27-2009, 04:17 AM

I don't normally have a problem with eye contact unless someone is sitting down and reading me an essay. In short bursts like them asking or answering a question for example I am fine, but when someone is explaining something to me and I am required to look at them for over a minute or so, I begin becoming aware of the awkwardness I am feeling due to staring them in the face for so long.

It's easy when I am talking because I look away as I think etc so the eye contact is only in short bursts.

Efsee · 08-27-2009, 07:44 AM

When I'm saying something personal to a therapist I look away. During this my mind is focused on formulating what i'm going to say, not on impressing people with my eye contact skills. It's easier to maintain eye contact when people are talking to me, it comes naturally then. Eye contact doesn't have to be prolonged, you can look into eyes occasionally then look away and it would be enough.
The only time I find eye contact difficult is when i'm having an anxiety attack or am feeling extra nervous.

outcast69 · 08-27-2009, 07:56 AM

I do the exact same thing;I feel almost intimidated.Also,I feel the pressure to have say something;their is nothing more awkward then that dead silence.

Kelly065 · 08-27-2009, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Genelle

I don't like making eye contact.. I do, but when I do, all I'm thinking is 'I'm making eye contact, it's awkward, should I look away?'
And then I'm not even listening to what the person is saying because I'm too worried about eye contact.

I am the same way! I try my best not to make eye contact with people. And when I do all I can think about is "Im making eye contact, oh my gosh Im making eye contact".
Its kind of funny I guess

LostPancake · 08-27-2009, 01:04 PM

yeah i do this also. but it's a good opportunity to practice, especially if you talk to your therapist about it. i was in group therapy last night and i actually managed to look at people's eyes when i said some things. it was the first time since joining a couple of months ago. it was sort of because the topic had come up, and i said i felt really bad about not being able to look at people when i was talking to them. i'm always afraid i'll lose my train of thought.

when i actually managed to do it, it was weird, like a new experience. it seemed kind of intimate, especially when talking about personal things, so it takes feeling pretty comfortable with someone.

layitontheline · 08-27-2009, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kelly065

I am the same way! I try my best not to make eye contact with people. And when I do all I can think about is "Im making eye contact, oh my gosh Im making eye contact".
Its kind of funny I guess

Hah yeah, I'm the same. I'm so busy focusing on the fact I'm making eye contact I miss what they say.

I have a really hard time making eye contact anywhere else, but when I used to see a psychologist I don't think I had much trouble. I just figure she knows I'm screwed up, she knows how nervous and awkward I am, that's why I'm there after all, so I feel like I have nothing to hide... so I found it easier to look at her compared to other people.

epril · 08-27-2009, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strawberryjulius

I have trouble making eye-contact with my psychologist, especially when I'm trying to think of what to say.

With my therapist, I usually look down most of the time, and use eye contact briefly when I have a strong point to make. It's unnerving that whenever I do look at her, she's always looking right back.

epril · 08-27-2009, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Genelle

I don't like making eye contact.. I do, but when I do, all I'm thinking is 'I'm making eye contact, it's awkward, should I look away?'
And then I'm not even listening to what the person is saying because I'm too worried about eye contact.

Same here. If someone really wants to talk to ME, and not my SA, they need to allow me to look wherever the heck I want.

Toad Licker · 08-29-2009, 11:17 AM

When I first started seeing a counselor I couldn't make eye contact at all. I still don't look at my counselor that often even now after seeing several over 10 years, I can I just still don't really like to.

Alicia2009 · 08-30-2009, 07:23 AM

I'm the total opposite...I stare in her eyes and sometimes am afraid to look away. Sometimes I think to myself that I might look strange doing it because I wont blink, but I cant help it. Kind of like a blank stare

I guess everyone has their own way...but I am sure that the therapist has seen it plenty of times before.

espearite · 08-30-2009, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by epril

Same here. If someone really wants to talk to ME, and not my SA, they need to allow me to look wherever the heck I want.

That sounds like a good way of looking at it.

timeout · 08-30-2009, 04:51 PM

I have to agree with you Epril you should be able to look where ever you feel like and so should we all Lets continue with the theropy and not worry about where the hell we are looking lets face it the last thing we need is another thing to worry about worry only leads to more worry

outcast69 · 08-30-2009, 05:09 PM

I had a problem with that today.I took my dog to the park for a walk,so I was sitting there relaxing and a really cute girl sitting on the bench across from me was staring at me and smiling;so I did my quick look at,look away thing I do,I even looked behind me to see if she was looking at someone else but,there was no one else there but,me and her that only made me more nervous.I was terrified she was going to get up and talk to me.So,I panicked and walked away.Once again any chance at happiness or at least a relationship has been chased away by SA.

timeout · 08-30-2009, 05:20 PM

outcast 69 it happens to me as well yes sa rears its ugly head but dot dwell on it let the experience go and move on maybe find a girl with sa at least she would understand

08-27-2009, 01:16 AM	#1 (permalink)
rachelynn Status: Daydreaming Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: USA Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 362	Eye Contact I NEVER look at my counselor when in a session. It's actually getting annoying that I have to look down at the floor or my notebook or something else, but I can't look at her. I kind of dont even know what is "normal" for eye contact when talking to someone in a setting like that! And if I even felt like I could do so, I don't know if I would now that it's like set that it's obvious I don't make eye contact at all....she mentioned it a few weeks ago.

08-27-2009, 02:50 AM	#2 (permalink)
strawberryjulius Status: ^_^ Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Australia Gender: Female Age: 18 Posts: 1,569	I have trouble making eye-contact with my psychologist, especially when I'm trying to think of what to say. __________________ Last.fm▪Anime "And if you've been let down, it might not be the last time. Cheer up, it will hurt much less tomorrow. We're all tired of **ing up and that's not just being sorry. It means brush the dirt off, get up and try again." NaNoWriMo Word Count: 470/50,000**

08-27-2009, 03:25 AM	#3 (permalink)
slkjao Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Sylmar, California Gender: Male Age: 19 Posts: 74	i cant make eye contact when im thinking of something to say but im ok when the person is talking. Sometimes the thought going through my head is, "how long should i make eye contact for. thinking about this gets me anxious. ive had the problem where i was staring at someone for to long and got snapped at. Maybe this is why i dont like making eye contact ...being to sensitive? what a bummer. __________________ "Success doesn't mean the absence of failures; it means the attainment of ultimate objectives. It means winning the war, not every battle." —Edwin C. Bliss

08-27-2009, 04:07 AM	#4 (permalink)
Genelle Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Victoria, Australia Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 143	I don't like making eye contact.. I do, but when I do, all I'm thinking is 'I'm making eye contact, it's awkward, should I look away?' And then I'm not even listening to what the person is saying because I'm too worried about eye contact. __________________ My youtube channel Twitter

08-27-2009, 04:12 AM	#5 (permalink)
Auron Status: Fade to Black Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Toronto, Canada Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 656	I have the same problem talking to my phychiatrist, which i stopped seeing. Same with my college councelor. It causes great discomfort to share very personal experiences to a stranger. That i think is the reason why i struggle to keep eye contact with them. __________________ My Poetry and Photography Website! "What can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence" - Christopher Hitchens

08-27-2009, 04:17 AM	#6 (permalink)
Ospi Status: Swoit Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Brisbane, Australia Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 1,499	I don't normally have a problem with eye contact unless someone is sitting down and reading me an essay. In short bursts like them asking or answering a question for example I am fine, but when someone is explaining something to me and I am required to look at them for over a minute or so, I begin becoming aware of the awkwardness I am feeling due to staring them in the face for so long. It's easy when I am talking because I look away as I think etc so the eye contact is only in short bursts. __________________ "Racing is life. Anything that happens before or after...is just waiting"

08-27-2009, 07:44 AM	#7 (permalink)
Efsee Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Female Age: 19 Posts: 333	When I'm saying something personal to a therapist I look away. During this my mind is focused on formulating what i'm going to say, not on impressing people with my eye contact skills. It's easier to maintain eye contact when people are talking to me, it comes naturally then. Eye contact doesn't have to be prolonged, you can look into eyes occasionally then look away and it would be enough. The only time I find eye contact difficult is when i'm having an anxiety attack or am feeling extra nervous.

08-27-2009, 07:56 AM	#8 (permalink)
outcast69 Status: Comfortably Numb Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Philly Gender: Male Posts: 230	I do the exact same thing;I feel almost intimidated.Also,I feel the pressure to have say something;their is nothing more awkward then that dead silence.

08-27-2009, 01:04 PM	#10 (permalink)
LostPancake Status: ghostly Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: an endless labyrinth Gender: Male Age: 40 Posts: 781	yeah i do this also. but it's a good opportunity to practice, especially if you talk to your therapist about it. i was in group therapy last night and i actually managed to look at people's eyes when i said some things. it was the first time since joining a couple of months ago. it was sort of because the topic had come up, and i said i felt really bad about not being able to look at people when i was talking to them. i'm always afraid i'll lose my train of thought. when i actually managed to do it, it was weird, like a new experience. it seemed kind of intimate, especially when talking about personal things, so it takes feeling pretty comfortable with someone.

08-29-2009, 11:17 AM	#14 (permalink)
Toad Licker Status: Broken Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: A Fruitloop Daydream Gender: Male Age: 44 Posts: 29,633	When I first started seeing a counselor I couldn't make eye contact at all. I still don't look at my counselor that often even now after seeing several over 10 years, I can I just still don't really like to. __________________ All will wither, go to sleep The ones you love you may not keep All you touch will fall apart The dreams you kill will break your heart There's no mercy, there's no rest The void will scream within your chest No one knows and no one will So leave this place that makes you Ill - Madder Mortem

08-30-2009, 07:23 AM	#15 (permalink)
Alicia2009 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: The Dwells of Cali-For-Nia Gender: Female Age: 24 Posts: 79	I'm the total opposite...I stare in her eyes and sometimes am afraid to look away. Sometimes I think to myself that I might look strange doing it because I wont blink, but I cant help it. Kind of like a blank stare I guess everyone has their own way...but I am sure that the therapist has seen it plenty of times before.

08-30-2009, 04:51 PM	#17 (permalink)
timeout Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: BC Canada Gender: Male Posts: 37	I agree I have to agree with you Epril you should be able to look where ever you feel like and so should we all Lets continue with the theropy and not worry about where the hell we are looking lets face it the last thing we need is another thing to worry about worry only leads to more worry

08-30-2009, 05:09 PM	#18 (permalink)
outcast69 Status: Comfortably Numb Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Philly Gender: Male Posts: 230	I had a problem with that today.I took my dog to the park for a walk,so I was sitting there relaxing and a really cute girl sitting on the bench across from me was staring at me and smiling;so I did my quick look at,look away thing I do,I even looked behind me to see if she was looking at someone else but,there was no one else there but,me and her that only made me more nervous.I was terrified she was going to get up and talk to me.So,I panicked and walked away.Once again any chance at happiness or at least a relationship has been chased away by SA.

08-30-2009, 05:20 PM	#19 (permalink)
timeout Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: BC Canada Gender: Male Posts: 37	it happens to me as well outcast 69 it happens to me as well yes sa rears its ugly head but dot dwell on it let the experience go and move on maybe find a girl with sa at least she would understand