Social Anxiety Support

rachelynn · 09-27-2009, 04:53 AM

One reason I avoid library is because of the doors, they have an alarm system thing on them. What if it goes off? What if they think Im taking books out without checking them out? What if I look so nervous to them? What if I can't confront them? What if this, and that.

My counselor told me, that if the alarm goes off, don't worry, everything is ok, and do you know what to do then? just go up to the desk and they'll check your books. You are an honest, good person.
She doesn't really get it. It's not the alarm itself that may cause me anxiety but the AFTER effects of it, dealing with people and what they will think or say and what I will do and how I can handle the situation.

Going to a class. She tells me, well if you need to leave the room, go outside for a while, then go back in and if anyone asks just say you needed to get some fresh air for a moment or needed the bathroom or something. But what if I leave, what will people say or think of me then?? what if they stop me? what if they see me?
she says if anyone asks just tell them it's none of their business.

She doesn't really understand that its not the feeling of being trapped, and worry of a panic attack, but of PEOPLE, that is why I'd have anxiety.

ecotec83 · 09-27-2009, 09:35 AM

I can relate to your fear of those anti-theft devices. I also fear that one will go off and bring me into the center of attention. It actually did happen to me twice, i turned to go back to the cash but the clerk just waved and told me i could go, the other time the clerk just rescanned the item to disable the sensor chip. While i was nervous that someone would think i was a thief if just took on the frame of mind "why should i care what these other people think of me, the clerk waved me through so he/she knows i did nothing wrong and chances are i wont see any of these people again and if i do they wont remember me or know my name"

The leaving and coming back into class would be a major issue with me since everyone instinctively looks when a door opens. I always hated being late for class as it kind of made me the center of attention. While the counselor may be a bit misguided when it comes to your concerns her advice can still be of use, by leaving class and coming back in you are exposing yourself to your fears, exposure therapy can be helpful by getting you used to a situation that causes discomfort until it no longer bothers you . Also many people need to take a break during classes, to use the bathroom get some fresh air, stretch their legs or get a bite to eat. I don't think anyone will judge you because you left class for some fresh air most of them are to busy listening to the lesson or worrying about their own problems or what other people think of them to really care that someone left class for a bit.

kc1895 · 09-27-2009, 07:29 PM

I used to remember people leaving during class and not coming back. They were sorta ditching, but a lot of people did that. If you leave your stuff there, I think people normally assume you're going to the bathroom.

In one class, the TA (a foreign guy) would glare at everybody who stood up to leave or hush students who were talking. He was really anal, but nobody payed attention to him. Usually when I have to leave for some reason, I do it quickly without making eye contact with anybody. It is better to sit in the back to avoid lookers if you're in a crowded room.

deeds14 · 09-27-2009, 09:25 PM

This is why therapists aren't supposed to give advice. You're trying to figure out why you feel the way you do, and she's just trying to give you solutions to each scenario. I'm not surprised you dont find that helpful.

09-27-2009, 04:53 AM	#1 (permalink)
rachelynn Status: Daydreaming Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: USA Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 361	Counselor doesn't seem to understand One reason I avoid library is because of the doors, they have an alarm system thing on them. What if it goes off? What if they think Im taking books out without checking them out? What if I look so nervous to them? What if I can't confront them? What if this, and that. My counselor told me, that if the alarm goes off, don't worry, everything is ok, and do you know what to do then? just go up to the desk and they'll check your books. You are an honest, good person. She doesn't really get it. It's not the alarm itself that may cause me anxiety but the AFTER effects of it, dealing with people and what they will think or say and what I will do and how I can handle the situation. Going to a class. She tells me, well if you need to leave the room, go outside for a while, then go back in and if anyone asks just say you needed to get some fresh air for a moment or needed the bathroom or something. But what if I leave, what will people say or think of me then?? what if they stop me? what if they see me? she says if anyone asks just tell them it's none of their business. She doesn't really understand that its not the feeling of being trapped, and worry of a panic attack, but of PEOPLE, that is why I'd have anxiety.

09-27-2009, 09:35 AM	#2 (permalink)
ecotec83 Status: Ascending from the dark Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Belleville, Ontario, Canada Gender: Male Age: 26 Posts: 367	I can relate to your fear of those anti-theft devices. I also fear that one will go off and bring me into the center of attention. It actually did happen to me twice, i turned to go back to the cash but the clerk just waved and told me i could go, the other time the clerk just rescanned the item to disable the sensor chip. While i was nervous that someone would think i was a thief if just took on the frame of mind "why should i care what these other people think of me, the clerk waved me through so he/she knows i did nothing wrong and chances are i wont see any of these people again and if i do they wont remember me or know my name" The leaving and coming back into class would be a major issue with me since everyone instinctively looks when a door opens. I always hated being late for class as it kind of made me the center of attention. While the counselor may be a bit misguided when it comes to your concerns her advice can still be of use, by leaving class and coming back in you are exposing yourself to your fears, exposure therapy can be helpful by getting you used to a situation that causes discomfort until it no longer bothers you . Also many people need to take a break during classes, to use the bathroom get some fresh air, stretch their legs or get a bite to eat. I don't think anyone will judge you because you left class for some fresh air most of them are to busy listening to the lesson or worrying about their own problems or what other people think of them to really care that someone left class for a bit. __________________ ~Our greatest battles are those with our own mind.~

09-27-2009, 07:29 PM	#3 (permalink)
kc1895 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Los Angeles Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 61	I used to remember people leaving during class and not coming back. They were sorta ditching, but a lot of people did that. If you leave your stuff there, I think people normally assume you're going to the bathroom. In one class, the TA (a foreign guy) would glare at everybody who stood up to leave or hush students who were talking. He was really anal, but nobody payed attention to him. Usually when I have to leave for some reason, I do it quickly without making eye contact with anybody. It is better to sit in the back to avoid lookers if you're in a crowded room.

09-27-2009, 09:25 PM	#4 (permalink)
deeds14 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Female Posts: 256	This is why therapists aren't supposed to give advice. You're trying to figure out why you feel the way you do, and she's just trying to give you solutions to each scenario. I'm not surprised you dont find that helpful.