[QUOTE=jenkydora;860607]I asked myself this question today. I am a sinner, a daily sinner and I feel remorse. I have some serious issues with my mother and sister, they have narcissistic tendencies and I dont know how to forgive them, they will never say sorry or even admit that their affliction cause agony in our family.
I feel myself wanting some revenge, not good. I'm going off the track, I know.
My sister has turned our mother against us. I pray for guidance and spiritual strength, I have none of my own, I am totally reliant on God, I am so weak. I can't do anything for myself with this family.
I find myself with alot of anxiety when it comes to confrontation and my mind is empty, but I am so hurt and depressed. I can't have them in my life they are manipulators that want me with no self respect.
I was also thinking today as I was listening to a song " I Am" sung as God is singing to us.
I thought how can the Holy Spirit be in me? I am baptised as infant, but why would the Holy Spirit want to even reside in me. I am so not right for this Holy Spirit.
I am not upholding my end of the baptisimal right, I dont have the strength of mind or heart, I am hearbroken that a mother can choose one daugther and dismiss three, even to the point of telling me she should have given my other sister away at birth
How can I turn it all to God, until I am able to do this, I will continue with thoughts of hate and frustration and of course sin.
The grieving part of losing narcissists is that I still love them, but not what they are, they hurt and believe they are righteous and perfect.
I am sorry for dumping this on your thread, to me it was appropriate.
In the darkest hour the soul is replenished and given strength to continue and endure.