Should I?

[Zombie Sheep]

Hiya!

Your thoughts, if you don't mind... Sorry about another long, boring post, but I don't know anybody religious I can talk to so I have nowhere else to ask this question.

I don't mean this to trigger arguments about religion, this is merely an honest, well-intentioned question - really. I'm trying to stick to the 'no debate' thing, but I would appreciate opinions from people who already are religious.

Long story short, I would like to ask if I should convert to Christianity (most likely Anglican, Protestant Christianity given my location and beliefs). I have given this thought all my life, but now I feel that this may be the time to actually seriously consider it.

I was raised in a family of Richard Dawkins loving, militant atheists. They would strongly object to me becoming a Christian and I'd never hear the end of it. However, I am an agnostic and (secretly) believe in God. Despite this I have only set foot in a church on rare occasions - weddings, funerals etc.

However, I despair at the life I am leading now - religion seems one of the few ways, if not the only way, I could discipline myself to become a respectable person. After all, if I believe in God I should probably attend religious worship, just I've never felt like I would be accepted. Sometimes when I've sat in a church for wedding services etc. I feel kind of dirty and ashamed. Like every little grubby secret of mine is suddenly not so secret anymore... Somebody knows... I want to change this if possible.

Has it helped you? Not just in terms of social phobia, mental health etc, but in a broader context?

Despite the discomfort I sometimes experience actually sitting in a church or religious building, I am always in awe at the sense of peace I experience around places of worship, such as in churchyards, or the ruined monastery at Lindisfarne Island on my last holiday. It really is unique. Stuff like this is - as odd as it may sound - what makes me an agnostic as opposed to an atheist.

My concerns are largely based around what I would be expected to give up. Sure, I could live without cursing and black metal bands and, erm, well, other stuff... But having to wait until marriage? I mean, really? I'll never marry, you see. You see what I'm getting at? Sorry to bring this up here, but I feel it's a legitimate concern for a socially phobic person.

Also, I have some concerns about Christian concepts of the afterlife. I am never gonna be able to 'convert' my friends and family, so do I just have to accept that they are going to Hell? Do I accept that it is right to punish somebody infinitely for what are, by definition (we are mortal), finite transgressions? No disrespect intended, but it is something that worries me.

Also - how do you join a church? Do you just turn up? I don't want to cause offence to anybody by being ignorant of what is expected, should I decide to attend.

Any thoughts more than welcome!

Thankyou for reading all that, if you did.

[Your Crazy]

You're capable of making your own decisions. Do what YOU think is right and not anyone else, including your family.

As for church, don't go in there with a mindset that everyone attending the service is "holier than thou". They sin just as much as you do. We're all human and we all make mistakes, so just remember that the next time you go and you'll be fine.

[TruSeeker777]

Zombie,

I think you might be getting ahead of yourself. Try to think of Christianity not so much as a religion with a bunch of do's and don'ts you can never live up to. It's not about that. This is a relationship you are starting. A very personal relationship with you and God. You give Him your life and then you let Him change you from the inside out. If you screw up, you just get back up and start over again. God loves you regardless. This is a hard concept for us to grasp but try to really let this soak into your heart....God can't love us any less or any more than He does right now. Don't worry about having to convert anyone...that's ultimately God's job anyway. As your relationship grows, if you feel like sharing something about what He's done in your life and you feel the time is right, share it. Actions speak louder than words anyway. As you grow and change in Him, people will notice and see His spirit inside you and be drawn to Him because of that. I'm not sure what type of church you are looking for but there are many modern churches out there nowadays that have done away with stuffy pews and hymns. They have bands that lead the worship and they have sermons or messages that are relevant to issues you are facing. These days, most churches put up audio and/or video of their sermons on their website each week. This might be a good way to get a feel for the church before you go. But I don't believe you have to go to church to be a Christian. If you aren't ready for that yet, just start reading the bible or watching/listening to messages online and talk to Him about what you are learning. Again, it's about a relationship.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning, great is Your faithfulness O God!" (Lamentations 3:22-23)

[Banzai]

Religion seems to be quite flexible nowadays (with most people being quite secular and everything). I don't see why you can't be Christian and listen to black metal etc.

[Zombie Sheep]

Thanks everybody...

That was probably the longest, boringest 'tumbleweed post' I have ever submitted, so I'm grateful for the replies. Must have been a soul-destroying yawnathon ploughing through all that. Btw, I have made my mind up already, I'm just looking for some reassurance it won't be a mortifying social disaster.

Banzai - Good point - I mean, not everybody who listens to black metal is gonna burn churches, not everybody who listens to gansta rap is gonna shoot people, not everybody who listens to gore metal is a serial killer. But I'd rather give that stuff up, I have to prove to the big guy that I'm serious and a slight change in musical taste is a good place to start. No bother at all. The hardest thing to do will be stopping swearing, tbh.

TruSeeker777 - That was very well put and reassuring, thankyou. I guess I'm not outrageously evil or anything, so maybe I shouldn't worry so much. I will most probably read the Bible first and try and get a better handle on it's teachings before I go, otherwise I'll not have the foggiest what the clergy are actually talking about.

Btw, I would - oddly - much prefer the more traditional type of church. I was going to attend a Baptist church near me, until I found out sermons there were basically a glorified karaoke party. Nothing wrong with that of course, just I'd get shamed up having to make a show of myself.

I went to a church years ago with a mate and people were dancing about insanely to modern hymns and gospel and stuff and I thought it was a bit much. Good they enjoyed it, like I say nothing wrong with that, but tbh I'd rather keep things serious and traditional. I will most likely become an Anglican because that seems more solemn and dignified.

Your Crazy - Cheers, I guess I'll just have to remind myself I haven't done anything *really* bad, and If I was 'perfect' already I probably wouldn't need religious teaching or forgiveness in the first place. Sorry to lower the tone somewhat, but if Myra Hindley can become a Christian, then like heck I can't.

Cheers everybody, I just needed a bit of encouragement, and you've been kind enough to provide it. Thanks again!

[moxosis]

I am an Atheist myself, if my kids would want to go to church and if they would truly believe in God I would let them go to church and be Christian. You can't make anybody believe or not believe. sometimes I think "some" atheist are as bad as "some" religeous people, when it comes to preaching and judging against the "others".

[millenniumman75]

You would just show up - that is what I did.
When it comes to giving things up, none of us like to do it, but ALL Christians have to do it. As much as we think the things we have are good for us, they may not be. Sometimes, it takes years to find that out. NO ONE is perfect <- only God is, well and Jesus, too, as only He was the sinless man. They love us DESPITE what we do. They love us for loving them - kind of like a cool dad and brother.

When it comes to marriage, it's normally something God has to have a say in anyway. Don't count Him out; you could very well marry someday - He's got the future. For me, I am letting Him work on me. It is SO HARD, but SO WORTH IT. I'm telling you, the stuff He has done for me in the past three years is scary - He got me through the passing of my Father and helped guide me into a more responsible man - all I had to do was give the fear to Him.

[Zombie Sheep]

Moxosis - Hi! I'm not so worried, my mum and dad won't disown me or anything, they'll just be 'disappointed' and let me know about it in that annoying 'son, me and your mother are worried about you' kind of way.

That said, given that I've been raging and brooding and causing them so much grief recently, maybe they'll actually be relieved that I've decided to turn over a new leaf.

Millenniumman75 - Cheers! That's a glowing recommendation, and I'm pleased to hear it's helped you so much. I'm sure I can give most of my bad habits up! I mean, I've given up harder things before than swearing and metal bands, I'm sure I'll cope.

Admittedly the marriage thing is a bit of a choker, I mean, if I was actually ever in the position where... You know... And I had to actually say no, I mean... Ah well, I'll worry about that situation later. If it ever happens. Which it won't.

I like the idea of becoming a respectable person. Of course, I'm not gonna walk in the church a seedy binge-drinking derelict and walk out a virtuous pillar of the community, but I'm sure it won't hurt. Having that kind of certainty in life will at least make my own efforts to become a decent person easier.

Btw, glad to hear it helped you through difficult times. I wish I'd had religious faith to give me some courage when my mum was really sick, I just hid away and couldn't handle it and I'll regret that as long as I live.

Anyway, thanks once again to everybody here!

[vicente]

Anglican Christianity is the one true faith for all mankind because you are in England. So if you want to become religious, then believe in that.

However, if you are in Turkey, the one true faith for all mankind is Islam. So if you want to become religious there, then believe in that.

Since you are not in Utah (United States), it would be terribly inconvenient to believe that Native Americans are the true Israelites, so although Mormonism is the one true faith for all mankind, it is not the one true faith for you because you are not in Utah.

Recognize that religion is inherently irrational, and so are the reasons for choosing one over another. However, that does not make it wrong. Choose the one that fits you the best. As long as you don't start believing things that contradict science (like believing the Earth is less than 10,000 years old or that Noah's Ark was a historical event), you're probably not going to end up worse than where you are now.

Before you decide anything, evaluate your current beliefs and ask yourself why you believe them. Are you sure you are an atheist? Are you sure you are a Christian? Why?

[Amelia]

Have you seen the Church of England website? http://www.cofe.anglican.org/ They have info on what it means to be a Christian: http://www.cofe.anglican.org/faith/.

[Zombie Sheep]

Just an update. Maybe this thread might be an 'account' of a non-religious person trying to enter into a congregation, despite no previous knowledge or encouragement. If you like, I guess.

I went there on Rememberance Sunday. I was welcomed outside the church (St. Helen's in Ipswich) by a guy I ended up admiring a lot. He had no idea who I was, but he shook my hand and tried to engage me in conversation. Not an easy task. But he did his best, and didn't seem to judge me even when I admitted I had never attended church before. I'm good at telling when people hate me and suspect things of me, and he didn't.

Once inside, a pleasant feller from the West Country (originally, telling by his accent) welcomed me and basically did his best to help me out. I was humbled, I'm not a very nice person but he didn't care, he just wanted to try and help me understand what to do and he kept a close eye on me. Good bloke.

Due to my 'condition' the actual service is something of a blur. I remember blushing very obviously when I was expected to sing hymns, muttering along the best I could, and an air of awkwardness from those around me - I was nervous, and I knew people could tell. But the welcome was very warm, and I didn't start gasping for breath, which tells you a lot.

I remember the last remaining veteran in the congregation proudly laying a wreath. During the silence I felt very humbled and my tactless outbursts on here were put into perspective. I do remember an odd passage where I was expected to shake hands with the entire congregation... That wasn't easy...

The next weekend? Epic fail, as I expected. I had been up all night, my breathing was shot to bits, I ran a bath and tried to force myself to get in it and wash myself clean and shave my head and my beard before going again but I couldn't. I reeked. I was raging and swearing at myself as usual, I just didn't want to have to deal with it. My language wasn't so good. I was raging. No change there.

I think I posted some morbid things on here that day. Since then, I'm not sure, I will try to go again this weekend. All I remember about that old building was an enduring sense of sorrow. There was a loneliness in that place, and amongst those people, that I could relate to.

Fact is, I've not changed much. I've still been on here ranting and raging and turning the air blue and frankly, you'll not have noticed much of a change.

But, early days yet

[illlaymedown]

As far as swearing goes, I think "cuss words" are majorally just societaly stigmatized words. In Christianity, you are spose to refrain from putting others down. If I stub my toe and say s**t or such, it's an expression of my physical pain and unless someone's around who could be offended by me saying it, I don't think it's a bad thing. If someone else is bothered by it, I would try to keep such words as would offend them to myself as to be acting in love like we are spose to do. Do I always do what's right? Nope, I'm still human and still have the same body as before that causes me to lust for wrong at times. Also, every religion canNOT be right, but that doesn't mean one can't be. I suggest you study behind what you believe. As for the others you love going to hell thing, people only go there(as stated in Christianity)cus they don't accept Jesus, not because of all/any other sins they might have done, it's a choice that people must make. In one way it'd be cruel of God to force people who want nothing to do with him to spend eternity with him. How has Christianity helped me? I haven't fallen into many of the traps people my age have, I made it thru a very miserable childhood and am a lot stronger than I believe I would've been, I am still alive because I have meaning in him(if I had no meaning or seriously bought into that people exist to reproduce and have fun then die and end stuff, I would have no problem ending my life cus there would be NO point for it anymore as I could care less about what most call "fun" or reproducing for just having humanity go on) and I have had little things happen that were unexplainable except for it to be beyond this tangible world. As far as science/evolution and whatnot goes, I have a few sites I'd like for you to check out if you wish that might enlighten you a bit more on the matter. Ultimately, the decision is yours to make and what other people think shouldn't deter you from what you feel is right or true. It's your life in the end and you own your freedom of choice.