Social Anxiety Support

Cerberus · 03-17-2009, 02:16 PM

I'd like to write him because he's my brother, but I don't know what to write. I tried a few times, but I really had nothing positive to say. Moreover, I find such language as "the spirit," "the church," "the gospel," and other such religious language -- used in a personal sense -- to be disgusting. I don't mean to be offensive by using that term, but that's the visceral reaction I have towards such language. When I encounter such language in a purely abstract sense, I don't mind, but when I hear this . . . religious language from my own brother, I find it hard to read.

Really, I'd like to write to my brother, but I don't have much in the way of encouragement or support to offer, beyond such stupid propositions as, "well, it will at least help you build up some discipline."

This is really annoying me. I want to write my brother, but all I'd really be able to offer is an argument for why he's wrong and why he will be (he's currently at the missionary training center) preaching nonsense.

I figure that once he's actually on his mission, I'll have more to say, but he's not serving in exactly the most interesting place in the world. I don't know.

FairleighCalm · 03-17-2009, 04:49 PM

Why don't you just send him a card with a shorter, sincere note saying you hope he's having fun fighting the devil? Hey, the first part of that suggestion is a good one,

TruSeeker777 · 03-17-2009, 09:40 PM

maybe you could start out by writing about what's going on in your life and then just ask him a few questions like what is it like there, have you met any interesting people or made any new friends, stuff like that, that at least lets him know you care about him even though you may disagree with what he's doing.

screwjack · 03-17-2009, 10:44 PM

I avoid all references to religion or politics with people I actually know after all it is a personal and private matter, I get my spirituality fix online or in books. I suggest you do the same and deflect any questions, focus on him and ignore any religous aspects. You can focus on his "religous quest" by just focusing on him and not passing judgement on his religion even if it involves religous things.

bheslop · 03-19-2009, 12:41 PM

I served a mormon mission and i would say just keep it simple.Like another person said tall him about whats going on with you. Just ask him how the mtc is and about the crazy missionaries there. I am sure he has some stories already...

Bredwh · 03-19-2009, 11:26 PM

Where is he doing it?

Chiro2b2 · 03-29-2009, 08:01 PM

No where is it written that you have to respond to what he has written.

If you want to write your brother write him. You care about him and want contact If you have difficulty with his dogma gloss over it, you could state something like I am glad that you are doing well, I have been busy myself.

Anxiety75 · 03-30-2009, 07:35 PM

You don't have to write to him using religious terms if that is what you mean. He'll still understand what you are saying without that. Don't write things like that just to please him. Just write what you want to say, not what you think he expects to hear if that makes sense.

03-17-2009, 02:16 PM	#1 (permalink)
Cerberus Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Utah Posts: 5,721	My brother is on a mormon mission and I don't know what to write him I'd like to write him because he's my brother, but I don't know what to write. I tried a few times, but I really had nothing positive to say. Moreover, I find such language as "the spirit," "the church," "the gospel," and other such religious language -- used in a personal sense -- to be disgusting. I don't mean to be offensive by using that term, but that's the visceral reaction I have towards such language. When I encounter such language in a purely abstract sense, I don't mind, but when I hear this . . . religious language from my own brother, I find it hard to read. Really, I'd like to write to my brother, but I don't have much in the way of encouragement or support to offer, beyond such stupid propositions as, "well, it will at least help you build up some discipline." This is really annoying me. I want to write my brother, but all I'd really be able to offer is an argument for why he's wrong and why he will be (he's currently at the missionary training center) preaching nonsense. I figure that once he's actually on his mission, I'll have more to say, but he's not serving in exactly the most interesting place in the world. I don't know. __________________ "Through the valleys grey Through the shapeless land I walk alone I'm left alone Through the deepest void, a blackened paradise I walk alone, I'm left alone"

03-17-2009, 04:49 PM	#2 (permalink)
FairleighCalm Status: Fun...Fluid...Formidable Join Date: May 2007 Location: Location Location Gender: Male Posts: 5,601	Why don't you just send him a card with a shorter, sincere note saying you hope he's having fun fighting the devil? Hey, the first part of that suggestion is a good one, __________________ Done.

03-17-2009, 09:40 PM	#3 (permalink)
TruSeeker777 Status: kept in His hands Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Arizona Gender: Female Age: 43 Posts: 5,081	maybe you could start out by writing about what's going on in your life and then just ask him a few questions like what is it like there, have you met any interesting people or made any new friends, stuff like that, that at least lets him know you care about him even though you may disagree with what he's doing. __________________ "no act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted..." ~ aesop Outcast Press - hope thru art - My Myspace page

03-17-2009, 10:44 PM	#4 (permalink)
screwjack Status: SAS Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Pacific NW Gender: Male Posts: 986	I avoid all references to religion or politics with people I actually know after all it is a personal and private matter, I get my spirituality fix online or in books. I suggest you do the same and deflect any questions, focus on him and ignore any religous aspects. You can focus on his "religous quest" by just focusing on him and not passing judgement on his religion even if it involves religous things. __________________ But what exactly is social anxiety? It’s the experience of apprehension or worry that arises from the possibility, either real or imagined, that one will be evaluated or judged in some manner by others.

03-19-2009, 11:26 PM	#6 (permalink)
Bredwh Status: Single White He-male Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Delhi, NY, USA (in the Catskills) Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 811	Where is he doing it? __________________ my intro thread + history/description of my SA

03-19-2009, 12:41 PM	#5 (permalink)
bheslop Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: So-California Gender: Male Posts: 75	I served a mormon mission and i would say just keep it simple.Like another person said tall him about whats going on with you. Just ask him how the mtc is and about the crazy missionaries there. I am sure he has some stories already...

03-29-2009, 08:01 PM	#7 (permalink)
Chiro2b2 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 19	No where is it written that you have to respond to what he has written. If you want to write your brother write him. You care about him and want contact If you have difficulty with his dogma gloss over it, you could state something like I am glad that you are doing well, I have been busy myself.

03-30-2009, 07:35 PM	#8 (permalink)
Anxiety75 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Dallas,Tx Gender: Female Age: 34 Posts: 4,049	You don't have to write to him using religious terms if that is what you mean. He'll still understand what you are saying without that. Don't write things like that just to please him. Just write what you want to say, not what you think he expects to hear if that makes sense. __________________ "A simple man believes everything he hears; a clever man understands the need for proof." Proverbs 14:15-The New English Bible 'O the depth of God's richness and wisdom and knowledge! How unsearchable his judgements are and past tracing out his ways are!'-Romans 11:33