I feel utterly confused, scared and lost when it comes to God

[Ironpain]

I like so many people am utterly confused when it comes to God to understanding him and what he wants and why we should put our faith in the bible in his word with all the confusion we feel, I continue time and time again in my life to feel a strong pull toward God.

Every time I feel this pull to come to God and I fall upon my knees and tell God every bad deed I have done and I cry and I tell God how weak I am and ask him to forgive those who have hurt me and I tell God I repent and turn away from my dirty thoughts and sinful actions and I ask Jesus into my heart to be my Lord and Savior.

I feel Good for a while, I seem happier things are going well and then and then I start to fall back into bad habits no matter how much I try to read the bible and go to church it doesn't work, I make one mistake and I get scared and I feel like I've failed God yet again, time and time again I go through this stage where my life is shattered I feel life has no meaning, there's this overwhelming force that seems to keep leaning me in the direction of faith.

Someone please tell me what's happening, is my faith not strong enough, am I not trying to have faith, why do I keep backsliding everytime I make a convicted commitment?I'm feeling so confused by all these conflicting emotions.

Thank you.

[Syndacus]

Perhaps faith in your connection with God is not strong enough? Your God is all-knowing and forgiving. He wants you to be open with him, and also learn not to fall back on those bad habits. You may not go to church or read from the Bible, but as long as you communicate with him through prayer and meditation, it's still just as good. Just continue to do good in life and he'll see your good ways.

[Slogger]

A monk told me that if you don't keep advancing the practice of your faith, you'll have trouble. Maybe reading the Bible and going to church isn't enough for you anymore; maybe you need some new, different ways to feel and express your faith at deeper levels that will help dispel your confusion. Perhaps your church leader can give you some advice.

[FadeToOne]

Originally Posted by Ironpain

I like so many people am utterly confused when it comes to God to understanding him and what he wants and why we should put our faith in the bible in his word with all the confusion we feel, I continue time and time again in my life to feel a strong pull toward God.

Every time I feel this pull to come to God and I fall upon my knees and tell God every bad deed I have done and I cry and I tell God how weak I am and ask him to forgive those who have hurt me and I tell God I repent and turn away from my dirty thoughts and sinful actions and I ask Jesus into my heart to be my Lord and Savior.

I feel Good for a while, I seem happier things are going well and then and then I start to fall back into bad habits no matter how much I try to read the bible and go to church it doesn't work, I make one mistake and I get scared and I feel like I've failed God yet again, time and time again I go through this stage where my life is shattered I feel life has no meaning, there's this overwhelming force that seems to keep leaning me in the direction of faith.

Someone please tell me what's happening, is my faith not strong enough, am I not trying to have faith, why do I keep backsliding everytime I make a convicted commitment?I'm feeling so confused by all these conflicting emotions.

Thank you.

Hey Ironpain,

For good or for bad, I believe that is the very point of faith. To have doubts, and to have struggles, but to keep trying to matter how many times you fall. You fall, and you pray to God...but it doesn't end there. You fall again, and again, and again, but you also pray again, and again, and again. It's how life works. I don't believe faith is tested on whether or not you fail - everyone on earth fails - but by how often you keep picking yourself back up again.

[leonardess]

hey there, I am not religious, but I was raised in the church, and I've thought about various beliefs, how we arrive at them, what faith means, and so on.

Perhaps it might help to know that many struggle with their faith and their belief in their Lord.

I think that as a species, one of the things we need most are boundaries. Your beliefs provide these. It is not that your faith is not strong enough, it is simply that you are human. Your beliefs are there to remind you, not to be superhuman, a la Jesus or any of that, but simply how to get back to a path. From what you say, this is exactly what you do. You would not be a thinking person with his own free will if you did not question. Every time you do, you make that choice - to return to the path. Isn't that a lot of what faith is all about?

Try not to worry and cause yourself mental anguish. You are doing okay.

Hope this helps a little.

[Nikkoteeny]

Originally Posted by Ironpain

I like so many people am utterly confused when it comes to God to understanding him and what he wants and why we should put our faith in the bible in his word with all the confusion we feel, I continue time and time again in my life to feel a strong pull toward God.

Every time I feel this pull to come to God and I fall upon my knees and tell God every bad deed I have done and I cry and I tell God how weak I am and ask him to forgive those who have hurt me and I tell God I repent and turn away from my dirty thoughts and sinful actions and I ask Jesus into my heart to be my Lord and Savior.

I feel Good for a while, I seem happier things are going well and then and then I start to fall back into bad habits no matter how much I try to read the bible and go to church it doesn't work, I make one mistake and I get scared and I feel like I've failed God yet again, time and time again I go through this stage where my life is shattered I feel life has no meaning, there's this overwhelming force that seems to keep leaning me in the direction of faith.

Someone please tell me what's happening, is my faith not strong enough, am I not trying to have faith, why do I keep backsliding everytime I make a convicted commitment?I'm feeling so confused by all these conflicting emotions.

Thank you.

Do not despair, Ironpain. Even the Apostle Paul struggled with this problem. In Romans 7:15, he says (I'm paraphrasing), "The things I want to do, I don't do; the things I don't want to do, I keep doing." The problem is while God will change our hearts, those hearts are still encased in a flesh that is riddled with the corruption of sin. Sometimes our flesh wins out, and we do, as Paul says, the things we don't want to do and we feel separated from God.

Remember that God loves you. No matter how you've screwed up, or how many times, He loves you. Romans 5:8 says that God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. God doesn't love us because we're good. God loves us because He is God, and because He loves us, He wants us to do good things, because that is what's best for us. He knows you're messed up. He knows you're gonna screw things up sometimes. But He is quick to forgive you when asked, and He still looks at you with an intimate, unquenchable passion.

[Albert11]

The word forgiven when broken down means your sin is already covered. For-given. That doesn’t mean we can sin without feeling guilty. The Holy Spirit convicts your heart when we are not doing what is right. That is a good thing!! We live a penitent life day by day; which means we always need course correction? Just like we channel our children in the right direction so does God correct us. God’s word is a gift that He has given us for answers. The more we know the easier these questions and decisions we make every day are answered. You cannot lose your salvation unless you totally reject the Holy Spirit ( the only unforgivable sin.) We all wander away and go through dry spells in our spirituality. But God is right there; He doesn’t move away; we do. Be confident that He loves you and will never forsake you. We’re just kids and sometimes we are knot-heads. It doesn’t matter. He loves us!! Yea!!!

[jesus is my savior]

You can never be "unworthy" for God - for He came and humbled himself, was born of a manger, was persecuted and rejected by the fatcats of society, whom everybody loved and aspired to be. He was lowest, and now he is greatest. Pray, my friend. He will silence Heaven so that He won't miss a word.