hard time socializing in church

[epril]

Just dropped off my girls at a church sponsored fun event. They didn't want to go. They are not neurotypical, popular girls. They don't have any friends at church. Maybe one or two kids they talk to once in awhile. It's hard for me to see them not fitting in. They are outcasts among people who preach brotherly love. I wish there were teens who would talk to them, but it doesn't happen. I know communication goes both ways. It'd just be nice at least at church to see more social people reach out to shyer ones, and care and not give up.

[mind_games]

I hated going to religious activities for the same reason. Urrgh! One thing to consider is that making them go to these things can make them associate 'not fun' with going to church and in a worst case your religion.

[gray]

amen sister! been there done that! you show them whats true it will all be okay!

[millenniumman75]

Part of the problem, from what I have seen, is that the other kids have just as much trouble opening up - even the adults do. I finally had to go by a new rule I made up - be the person I would like others to be. I would have to make the first move by shaking their hand and wishing them a good morning. I do this during the praise portion of the service. I noticed that I am among the first to sit down after that segment. I could easily go up a few rows and shake more hands. I see a lot of those people every week.

It's all in the exposure...

[epril]

Originally Posted by millenniumman75

Part of the problem, from what I have seen, is that the other kids have just as much trouble opening up - even the adults do. I finally had to go by a new rule I made up - be the person I would like others to be. I would have to make the first move by shaking their hand and wishing them a good morning. I do this during the praise portion of the service. I noticed that I am among the first to sit down after that segment. I could easily go up a few rows and shake more hands. I see a lot of those people every week.

It's all in the exposure...

I try to do the same thing, go up to people who look like they may need a smile or a handshake. It's hard but I push myself to do it. I'm always one of the first to sit down too. I'm sure a lot of people are a little shy like me, and especially teens in my daughters' age group, plus the other teens still want to fit in themselves and be part of the cool group? I dunno. You need to WANT to be social though, and either my girls don't want to or aren't ready to yet. They click with the oddballs, and ya know, there just aren't enough oddballs at church! Just gotta keep looking, or WE, my girls and I, need to accept people for who THEY are too, perfect clothes, looks, money, decorum, attitude, etc. I have been taught by my therapist and learned that I can befriend anyone, no matter how good or better than me I think they are.