Social Anxiety Support

Daylight · 08-10-2009, 01:07 PM

Despite being an athiest, I went to church yesterday with my aunt and my cousin. I didn't go to church with them to worship a God. I went there to meet new people. They introduced me to this girl, who is really quiet like me. And not only is she quiet, but she is pretty and the same age as me.

I'm totally against religion, but after meeting this girl, I will continue to go to church just so I can see her and meet other people. This is the first time that I've ever appreciated religion, because if religion never existed, there would be no churches. And if there were no churches, I would have never met that girl yesterday. Churches can be useful after all.

Thomas Paine · 08-10-2009, 01:51 PM

Better watch out. I've read about an old sect of Christianity that doesn't exist anymore, but the women involved in it used to seduce men in order to get them to convert.

EagerMinnow84 · 08-10-2009, 02:01 PM

I actually thought about attending church as well, even though I am an atheist. It is the sense of community that I am looking for that I feel like I am lacking in my life. However, I don't think I would want to meet a guy at church since our beliefs would be different. He probably would think I am going to hell since I don't believe it God.

anonymid · 08-10-2009, 02:13 PM

This thread reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George tries to convert to Latvian Orthodox.

tvgirl48 · 08-10-2009, 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anonymid

This thread reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George tries to convert to Latvian Orthodox.

I love that episode.

I think a lot of people would feel differently about religion if there wasn't that built-in social aspect of it in church. Some people, like you, may not believe in any of it but still go just because it's nice to have a get-together like that. It's a way to meet people. It's kind of hard to meet a fellow atheist since we don't exactly have meetings. I go to church occasionally when my parents ask me to, because it means a lot to them when I go. I hate to go because I don't believe in any of it and I feel like a giant hypocrite, but I can live going only once or twice a year to make my mom happy.

shadowmask · 08-10-2009, 03:51 PM

I attended church regularly as an atheist a few years ago. At that time, no one knew I was an atheist, so part of it was to keep up the facade of being Christian. The social connections that come from regular attendance can be helpful if you feel lonely and like you have no where else to turn. But if you don't believe in any of it, then obviously it's going to be boring as hell having to sit through a two hour sermon every Sunday.

Ensomhet · 08-10-2009, 06:29 PM

Joining a Unitarian Universalist church might give you that sense of community you need.

UltraShy · 08-11-2009, 02:35 AM

I suppose I could meet girls in church, but how fast are they going to run when they find out what I think of their religion?

The concept of atheists in church strikes me as odd to say the least. This is like those who want to ban guns joining the NRA and blasting away with a gun at a shooting range -- kind of conflicts with their core values, don't you think? Or like a vegan going out for a steak dinner while wearing her new leather coat.

Auron · 08-11-2009, 03:14 AM

i went to an evangelist camp trip...last year actually. My brother sort of pushed me into going. They were really nice, but its sad they were so closed minded that they looked down on me with pity and only saw was damning soul going to hell. A co-worker at the time told me this several times. I wonder if there may be other churches that are more acceptable...I havent been in church for....9 years maybe? My brother, however, kept going to the evangelist chruch that organized the camping trip. Just for a few days. Im sure its a great place to meet people if you share their beliefs.

Thomas Paine · 08-11-2009, 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Auron

I wonder if there may be other churches that are more acceptable...I havent been in church for....9 years maybe?

Unitarian Universalist is probably going to be your best bet. I think they have some fairly large churches in some areas. You could probably find a small church here and there with a Protestant theology that teaches universal salvation, but I think it would vary from Preacher to Preacher rather then any specific Church, so you would have to ask them first. It would be logical though, that if the Preacher believes that nobody will go to hell for eternity then the people who are still attending the Church would be open to that viewpoint.

millenniumman75 · 08-11-2009, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daylight

Despite being an athiest, I went to church yesterday with my aunt and my cousin. I didn't go to church with them to worship a God. I went there to meet new people. They introduced me to this girl, who is really quiet like me. And not only is she quiet, but she is pretty and the same age as me.

I'm totally against religion, but after meeting this girl, I will continue to go to church just so I can see her and meet other people. This is the first time that I've ever appreciated religion, because if religion never existed, there would be no churches. And if there were no churches, I would have never met that girl yesterday. Churches can be useful after all.

Imagine if God wanted the two of you together, then you might have something. We do have the issue of getting with somebody "equally yoked", though. It may not go over well with her if she finds out you're atheist.

millenniumman75 · 08-11-2009, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Auron

i went to an evangelist camp trip...last year actually. My brother sort of pushed me into going. They were really nice, but its sad they were so closed minded that they looked down on me with pity and only saw was damning soul going to hell. A co-worker at the time told me this several times. I wonder if there may be other churches that are more acceptable...I havent been in church for....9 years maybe? My brother, however, kept going to the evangelist chruch that organized the camping trip. Just for a few days. Im sure its a great place to meet people if you share their beliefs.

That shows the unhealthiness of the church. To look down on you is a sin. If you were open minded enough to go to the camp, they had the responsbility to show you who God iswithout judgment. People are going to be naturally skeptical. To outright judge you is wrong.

justpassinby · 08-11-2009, 10:29 AM

I agree with the above post wholeheartedly. There are many false teachings out there that misrepresent God. If you come to know who God truly is, you can't help but feel that love and acceptance, because its who He is, and you'll want to go, and want to learn more. Faith is centered around a personal relationship with God. If you go to a place of worship under false pretenses, God will know this and you won't find him. You only find him under genuine need and want, jmo. so you may be sabotaging yourself by going for the wrong reasons.

mud · 08-11-2009, 12:33 PM

hey, church is not the only social club around
I have considered joining a camera club but always chicken out
there's book clubs, car clubs, dog owner clubs, sports...

rcapo89 · 08-15-2009, 10:23 PM

Even though I'm an atheist I have recently gone to small church groups to meet people my own age and develop friendships.

huh · 08-16-2009, 06:54 PM

I've never gone to church to make friends or meet people, but it seems that I tend to make friends/acquaintances with people that are very religious. Most didn't realize what I thought about religion. When they do then I have to make clear not to talk about certain things..lol. I've lost one acquaintance and one friend by speaking my mind about religion. Oh well.

In regards to the OP...be careful about getting into a relationship with someone that is religious when you're not. Not that it can't work, but it usually complicates it. Unless of course she isn't really religious and is just going through the motions. There are Unitarian Universalist churches out there where you could probably meet like-minded people without having to be worried about speaking your mind.

when will we be new skin · 08-18-2009, 06:29 PM

Where in Indiana do you live?

I'm a hardcore Atheist, too.

Jnmcda0 · 08-19-2009, 03:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UltraShy

I suppose I could meet girls in church, but how fast are they going to run when they find out what I think of their religion?

The concept of atheists in church strikes me as odd to say the least. This is like those who want to ban guns joining the NRA and blasting away with a gun at a shooting range -- kind of conflicts with their core values, don't you think? Or like a vegan going out for a steak dinner while wearing her new leather coat.

Atheism, in the broadest sense of the term, is simply the absence of belief in a deity. Not all atheists are anti-religion.

bentobox · 09-17-2009, 12:25 PM

I would recommend a unitarian church to anyone. If only just to experience one service. I've been to 2 services and they were very cool. There was no orthodoxy whatsoever in the sermon. They read from the bible, they read poems, I think they read the lyrics to a beatles song. The people were a really interesting mix, many of them coming from different religious backgrounds. I never joined because the idea of joining anything is a little scary to me but I think about it now and then.

Regarding the original post, make sure she doesn't want to convert you. I dated a devout christian who tried everything to convert me, including threatening breaking up and in the end it just wasn't worth it.

jim_morrison · 09-17-2009, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daylight

Despite being an athiest, I went to church yesterday with my aunt and my cousin. I didn't go to church with them to worship a God. I went there to meet new people. They introduced me to this girl, who is really quiet like me. And not only is she quiet, but she is pretty and the same age as me.

I'm totally against religion, but after meeting this girl, I will continue to go to church just so I can see her and meet other people. This is the first time that I've ever appreciated religion, because if religion never existed, there would be no churches. And if there were no churches, I would have never met that girl yesterday. Churches can be useful after all.

Go for it, exposure is exposure, and you could be just "deciding on your faith for an extended period of time"

08-10-2009, 01:07 PM	#1 (permalink)
Daylight Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Indiana Gender: Male Posts: 25	Athiest attending church? What??? Despite being an athiest, I went to church yesterday with my aunt and my cousin. I didn't go to church with them to worship a God. I went there to meet new people. They introduced me to this girl, who is really quiet like me. And not only is she quiet, but she is pretty and the same age as me. I'm totally against religion, but after meeting this girl, I will continue to go to church just so I can see her and meet other people. This is the first time that I've ever appreciated religion, because if religion never existed, there would be no churches. And if there were no churches, I would have never met that girl yesterday. Churches can be useful after all. __________________ Life sucks and then you die.

08-10-2009, 01:51 PM	#2 (permalink)
Thomas Paine Status: Fail Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: USA Gender: Male Age: 28 Posts: 1,698	Better watch out. I've read about an old sect of Christianity that doesn't exist anymore, but the women involved in it used to seduce men in order to get them to convert. __________________ I thought that when you said so long You wouldn't stay to hear your song

08-10-2009, 02:01 PM	#3 (permalink)
EagerMinnow84 Status: Living in Technicolor Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Dancing with Gene Kelly Gender: Female Posts: 1,189	I actually thought about attending church as well, even though I am an atheist. It is the sense of community that I am looking for that I feel like I am lacking in my life. However, I don't think I would want to meet a guy at church since our beliefs would be different. He probably would think I am going to hell since I don't believe it God. __________________ I don't know, I kind of like him. He's the exact opposite of everything I really hate. In a way, he's such a clueless dork, he's almost kind of cool

08-10-2009, 02:13 PM	#4 (permalink)
anonymid Status: gulping for shape Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Chicagoland Gender: Male Age: 30 Posts: 2,077	This thread reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George tries to convert to Latvian Orthodox. __________________ "He who has not the courage to suffer either death or life, who will neither resist nor flee, what can we do with him?" - Montaigne

08-11-2009, 02:35 AM	#8 (permalink)
UltraShy Status: Accident of Birth Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Milwaukee, WI (Atheist, Libertarian) Gender: Male Age: 36 Posts: 24,572	I suppose I could meet girls in church, but how fast are they going to run when they find out what I think of their religion? The concept of atheists in church strikes me as odd to say the least. This is like those who want to ban guns joining the NRA and blasting away with a gun at a shooting range -- kind of conflicts with their core values, don't you think? Or like a vegan going out for a steak dinner while wearing her new leather coat. __________________ Nothing is ever the way it should be What we deserve we just don't get you see http://www.insureyourgunrights.com/

08-10-2009, 03:51 PM	#6 (permalink)
shadowmask Status: Seeing stars Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: TN Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 1,083	I attended church regularly as an atheist a few years ago. At that time, no one knew I was an atheist, so part of it was to keep up the facade of being Christian. The social connections that come from regular attendance can be helpful if you feel lonely and like you have no where else to turn. But if you don't believe in any of it, then obviously it's going to be boring as hell having to sit through a two hour sermon every Sunday.

08-10-2009, 06:29 PM	#7 (permalink)
Ensomhet Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 1	Joining a Unitarian Universalist church might give you that sense of community you need.

08-11-2009, 03:14 AM	#9 (permalink)
Auron Status: Fade to Black Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Toronto, Canada Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 656	i went to an evangelist camp trip...last year actually. My brother sort of pushed me into going. They were really nice, but its sad they were so closed minded that they looked down on me with pity and only saw was damning soul going to hell. A co-worker at the time told me this several times. I wonder if there may be other churches that are more acceptable...I havent been in church for....9 years maybe? My brother, however, kept going to the evangelist chruch that organized the camping trip. Just for a few days. Im sure its a great place to meet people if you share their beliefs. __________________ My Poetry and Photography Website! "What can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence" - Christopher Hitchens

08-11-2009, 10:29 AM	#13 (permalink)
justpassinby Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 429	I agree with the above post wholeheartedly. There are many false teachings out there that misrepresent God. If you come to know who God truly is, you can't help but feel that love and acceptance, because its who He is, and you'll want to go, and want to learn more. Faith is centered around a personal relationship with God. If you go to a place of worship under false pretenses, God will know this and you won't find him. You only find him under genuine need and want, jmo. so you may be sabotaging yourself by going for the wrong reasons.

08-11-2009, 12:33 PM	#14 (permalink)
mud Status: SAS Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: South Africa Gender: Male Age: 34 Posts: 169	hey, church is not the only social club around I have considered joining a camera club but always chicken out there's book clubs, car clubs, dog owner clubs, sports... __________________ my name is mud

08-15-2009, 10:23 PM	#15 (permalink)
rcapo89 Status: Exploring the moon Europa Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Georgia (northeast of Atlanta) Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 840	Even though I'm an atheist I have recently gone to small church groups to meet people my own age and develop friendships.

08-16-2009, 06:54 PM	#16 (permalink)
huh Status: Statistical Anomaly Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: WI Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 1,037	I've never gone to church to make friends or meet people, but it seems that I tend to make friends/acquaintances with people that are very religious. Most didn't realize what I thought about religion. When they do then I have to make clear not to talk about certain things..lol. I've lost one acquaintance and one friend by speaking my mind about religion. Oh well. In regards to the OP...be careful about getting into a relationship with someone that is religious when you're not. Not that it can't work, but it usually complicates it. Unless of course she isn't really religious and is just going through the motions. There are Unitarian Universalist churches out there where you could probably meet like-minded people without having to be worried about speaking your mind. __________________ "It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."

08-18-2009, 06:29 PM	#17 (permalink)
when will we be new skin Status: SAS Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: indiana Gender: Female Age: 22 Posts: 154	Where in Indiana do you live? I'm a hardcore Atheist, too. __________________ Unlearn me. Ditch what I read, behind what I heard. Look. Find. Free.

09-17-2009, 12:25 PM	#19 (permalink)
bentobox Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 9	Unitarians I would recommend a unitarian church to anyone. If only just to experience one service. I've been to 2 services and they were very cool. There was no orthodoxy whatsoever in the sermon. They read from the bible, they read poems, I think they read the lyrics to a beatles song. The people were a really interesting mix, many of them coming from different religious backgrounds. I never joined because the idea of joining anything is a little scary to me but I think about it now and then. Regarding the original post, make sure she doesn't want to convert you. I dated a devout christian who tried everything to convert me, including threatening breaking up and in the end it just wasn't worth it.