Anybody want to be be a hermit? - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-05-2010, 11:23 AM Thread Starter
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Talking To hermit or not to hermit

I've gone a week without any human contact. I kinda liked it.
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post #2 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-05-2010, 12:04 PM
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I wouldn't really want to be one because I actually don't like being completely alone. Sure, I am alone most of the time and I don't like being among large groups of people, but I definitely would not like being completely isolated because much of my current discomfort comes from the fact I can't interact with people as much as I wish I could.

Stay away from here. It's not healthy.
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post #3 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-05-2010, 12:06 PM
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I'm already technically living the hermit life style

Never leave the house - Check
Cooped up in a room all day - Check
Seclusion from others - Check
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post #4 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-05-2010, 01:52 PM
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It's not that I'm opposed to this thread in any way in particular...but is there any reason for it being in the Spirituality forum? I mean, were you looking for spiritual support? If not, it seems like this thread should be relocated.

Incidentally, I don't really want to be a hermit. I like being alone, but I also want to be capable of functioning healthily around other people.
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post #5 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-05-2010, 02:32 PM
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In one word: NO

Anyone who does must be an animal, because all people need human contact from time to time. There's a reason why isolation is used as a method of punishment in prisons. I thought I would be happy alone; now I am and the isolation can be devestating. On top of all your other problems don't also isolate yourself from the world. There's always something to live for.

To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.

William Blake - Auguries of Innocence
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post #6 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-05-2010, 04:00 PM
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Relax, dude. Globe_trekker has an opinion, so he's free to express it. Is it different from yours? Fine. Take is as that and don't insult him or take it personally. Besides, you could take "animal" in the same way people take "that's insane!!!", or you could take it apart and be offended by all the little technicalities and implications derived from such a short comment.

Stay away from here. It's not healthy.
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post #7 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-06-2010, 12:23 PM
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Originally Posted by eccentricpeter View Post
brother I think you should watch what you're saying. how can anyone who enjoys solitude be an animal? Firstly, your comment is idiotic because human beings are animals too. Secondly, most animals live in groups. Thirdly, calling someone an animal just because he/she doesnt follow your own principles is outright deragetory. By your utterly ignorant sense, do you consider people who medidate for years and years and even their whole life animals? In Buddhist, Hindu and other religions they're called GODS.
Your problem is that you think there is nothing beyond you. Eveything you know is right. Years of living in a society makes you think that it's normal. You don't decide what's right or wrong, whats normal or not. society does that for you. You think hermits are animals because you're programmed that way. But its good to stay neutral in such matters because there might me something you don't know.
For example, in some countries people stone criminals to death. Of course for us it's outright wrong, but for them it's perfectly right. Now you can advocate about how much that is wrong and how those people are bad, but you can't convince any of the people who actually did it. Like you can't convince al qaeda that world conquest is not possible for them or whatever.
Anyways, don't think that what you think is not good makes one a complete different species of living beings.
What exactly would be going in your mind when an 8 year old says that, and on top of that, everything he says is true? Of course you're not an animal in the sense the kid tells it. You're just different. And thats beyond the understanding of the little kid.
Well, you're being that little kid with me right now.
And I am sorry to say this but you don't deserve to be listened to so stay off the thread please.
First of all, I am truly sorry if I offended you eccentricpeter. I have read about your situation and the stuff you are going through right now. I didn't mean any personal harm with my comment. But I have to stand up for myself. First, I make a distinction between solitude and isolation/loneliness. Solitude is fine because it is temporary. Isolation is destructive because it consists of prolonged periods without human contact. Without pretending to know much about human psychology I do know that every person needs human contact from time to time. It's a basic human need to have love and intimacy according to Maslow. I am more or less isolated without friends right now and it doesn't feel good. I challenge you to find anyone who enjoys living like a true hermit. People can do what they like. I'm not one to decide this. I only got the impression that you intended to isolate yourself completely from the world and according to my personal experience I would warn against doing such a thing. Perhaps animal was the wrong term, but I do believe it is inhuman in the sense that prolonged isolation causes mental harm and psychological instability. In fact it has been proven in studies that prolonged isolation in prisoners is paramount to mental torture. I hope you understand because I was only trying to give advice.

To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.

William Blake - Auguries of Innocence
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post #8 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-06-2010, 10:17 PM
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Originally Posted by eccentricpeter View Post
So one philosopher tells that and it's all true? This is an invalid argument. I don't agree to most of the people so this one is not going to change what I think is right and wrong, and what I think is human or not.

Abraham Maslow was a humanist psychologist, not a philosopher. I think you'll find that his theories of human motivation and needs are accepted by most mainstream psychologists. It is a fact of theory that humans need to feel belonged, need love, intimacy and human contact. But everyone is entitled to their opinion and I'm not going to argue with that.

In Hinduism, which is my ancient background though I am an atheist, true salvation (happiness) can only be achieved through hermitage. There are lots of Sadhus and Babas who are true hermits, dont wear anything and eat off the forests. They're said to be the happiest of human beings.

And you think living off the forest and in caves is a good lifestyle? I'm not the one to judge whether they are happy or not; I know I wouldn't enjoy it. Also even Sadhus and Babas must have someone to talk to from time to time.

Gautam Buddha lived the life of a hermit for years in the Buddhism religion.

These are evidences if you are religious.

Now, it's difficult to find a true hermit because if he/she is true it's pretty difficult to spot them, know that they are true hermits and find out if he/she is happy or not. The principle is isolation so they would have nothing to get by telling other people that they are hermits/happy.
Still there are people who are trying and successful in the hermit life and the more they're alone the happier they are. You can visit here for more information and I think you should read some insightful posts before judging people different that you. It would be stupid to say all those people are unhappy/ignorant, while it might be you who is unhappy/ignorant after all.

I see the forum, but I'm just stating this from my point of view. It may be right or wrong. I suppose short periods of isolation is fine, but not years and years of it.

Also if you follow hikikomoris and their story around the internet and forums, they're perfectly happy with their life and do what they wanna do and spend their time exactly how they want. Lot of them aren't even socially anxious. I think most of them have their parents to talk to. I myself was what you might term a hikikomori for 6x6 months and felt great to begin with. Finally peace and quiet from society. Today I just feel lonely and isolated. Perhaps this is different from person to person. Perhaps there are people who truly do enjoy being isolated for years, even decades at a time. Yes, it might be harmful for the productivity of the society but productivity mostly does is destroy nature beyond its sustainability level so the hermit doesn't have anything to give and doesn't care much of the society. Is this why you have such a negative attitude of people? If everyone isolates themselves society goes bankrupt. What sounds really inhuman to you might be the most laid back as in lazy? and happy people in the world, and it's their decision, like you made yours to call people beyond your understanding animals and inhuman. You have no superior reasoning whatsoever to prove that it's any more or less human the way they live. And happiness is not an entity a human being can entitle to another type of human beings based on his/her opinions. You are right, I can only base my opinion on my own negative personal experiences with isolation and what I read about it on the Internet, in books etc. The impression I get is that prolonged isolation is destructive to human health.

True hermitage doesn't mean you are doomed or lose your 'virginity' if you happen to run across another human being. It's about the satisfaction and happiness one finds while in the company of nobody else and lives through self sustaining means and truly sub merges his life with the nature as it is. I myself aim for that. I don't care if I happen to phone somebody I care about once in a while, i am not doomed. I don't even worry whether I'll be totally successful. But I choose not to. And I won't listen to anything people say that doesn't convince me that hermitage is wrong, unlike this:

So if you are mentally instable you are not human? I think you'll agree that mental instability and psychological harm is detrimental to human health, right? Thus I consider prolonged isolation inhuman. By inhuman I mean detrimental to human health. That is the dumbest thing I've heard in months. And what makes you think I am psychologically stable at the first place? I am already instable thus inhuman, why do I care? Why not as well do what you enjoy? solitude. But I am talking about isolation. Which means, you are wrong, and you are wrong in my sense. This is your opinion and I respect you for it. But I don't agree. I might not ever be able to convince you so, but there is no reason to do so. Because your conscience is yours and it takes a lot to affect a closed one for which I neither have the time nor resources.

I don't think you read my last post properly, read it again, you'll figure out why exactly your advice is what I don't need.

Nothing personal as always. I know
On a different matter. I don't like the way you treated some people in the thread 'Just give up' (now closed). The advice is bad on a forum where all people need is the exact opposite: positive feedback. You should learn to respect people more. I think you'll find most people on here are willing to treat you kindly but not as long as you have that nasty attitude of yours.

Well, I can't stop you from isolating yourself. But if ever you come to realize what true loneliness entails don't say I didn't warn you! Nothing personal either

To see a world in a grain of sand,
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.

William Blake - Auguries of Innocence
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post #9 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-07-2010, 11:08 AM
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post #10 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-14-2010, 03:57 PM
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I kinda of have hermit tendencies. I quite like the idea and understand why eccentricpeter was so offended by the comment as I felt it was a pretty insensitive thing to say on this forum. However, I feel there may be some truth to it, understand that we are all socialising right now via the internet, I wouldn't want that taken away from me as much as I do thoroughly love my own space and company. What about the years of us growing up as children? our mothers who nurtured us and gave us love...that's important, we need love it's how we thrive, it's the most powerful emotion/energy of all.

I don't doubt you could receive/give that love with God if you were to go about being a hermit for these reasons but if you were an atheist then I would think it would be a terrible choice and horrible way to live.
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post #11 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-31-2010, 08:27 PM
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Yes, I have wanted to be a hermit before. At this moment in time, it is sort of a little fantasy to build a tiny little place up in the himalayas, nearer to the river Ganges source where the water is cleaner looking, and then just live my little hermit life.
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post #12 of 35 (permalink) Old 10-31-2010, 08:55 PM
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i thouhgt about it once, but then i realized i actually like people, because i gain energy from my family. And for some reason, i have the urge to go to walmart or the mall or something all the time....Yet i hate school, and am completely exhausted after a few hours at college.....Ughhhh i wish i didnt have to play college baseball. We are goin on a week trip on spring break, ive never been away from my family so will probably be a life changing experience for me....hmm i might actually reveal my true self to seems if im around the same few people for like 8 hours strait, ill losen up a little....i hope it still works that way..its been a long time since i opened up to people.
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post #13 of 35 (permalink) Old 11-07-2010, 06:03 PM
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Yes!! My favourite books and movies as a child pertained to living alone in the wilderness; fending for myself, answering to no one. That is my ultimate dream
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post #14 of 35 (permalink) Old 11-08-2010, 03:58 AM
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I've always fantasized about the hermit lifestyle. I'd like to live in that floating temple from the Korean movie "Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter... and Spring"... if anyone has seen it. Great movie. I recommend it if you're the loner type with an interest in Buddhism.

I probably wouldn't even crave human contact if I had a dog or something for company. Ideally, I'd like to meet up with other hermits though once a month or something to trade and have a couple of drinks. I definitely appreciate limited, quality human contact.

Originally Posted by stylicho View Post
Hey, thanks for that: really put me in a good mood tonight. I love real people like this. Ran Prieur is another guy I admire (although he has slowly fallen back in to the money economy somewhat for his land project).
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post #15 of 35 (permalink) Old 11-08-2010, 08:07 AM
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sign me up! I wouldn't completely vanish from society, though, but living in a house with a small farm where i eat mostly what i can grow myself would be a dream come true.

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post #16 of 35 (permalink) Old 11-08-2010, 08:41 AM
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anybody want to be a hermit?

Yes, and I mainly have felt forced into not being one...
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post #17 of 35 (permalink) Old 11-08-2010, 08:46 AM
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Originally Posted by eccentricpeter View Post
I know I will never be off of social anxiety and all but I wanna be a hermit. Not in mountains and all but just wanna live alone in a room/house or something. Like those hikikomoris in Japan. They have such a good life unlike poor me with no money.
Anybody else share these thoughts?
Sounds great, but how does one pay for it. Do they just give rooms/houses away to hermits in Japan?

Please, call me Mike.

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post #18 of 35 (permalink) Old 11-08-2010, 10:07 AM
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I've literally spent years in a row at home. Not leaving my property. I don't know if you count that as being a hermit, because I did come in contact with my immediate family. I honestly believe I spent 4 years in a row entirely at my house and property. If it weren't for my grandma being deathly ill, I could have made it 5-7 years. After breaking my streak and getting out of the house a little, I think it was another year or so off and on up until now living back in my cave. After I adapted to staying home 7 days a week, 30 days a month, time started to fly by and just run together in a blur. Staying up all night wasn't fun anymore, because it just happened way too quickly. One day felt like, half a day. Fast forwarding your life doesn't feel very fun.

Once you spend years cooped up, and you step out into the world again, it can be a very sad reality. Noticing buildings that were once there, now gone. Knowing that so and so died, and no longer lives in that house, etc. Even new soda machines and cars stood out to me. It felt a lot like just coming out of a coma, or being thrown into the future. I enjoyed most of my time at home, but once it was over it was quite depressing for a while.

Probably the hardest thing was, not getting to experience Christmas. It didn't feel like Christmas, without seeing lights on houses, decorations in the mall or snow on the streets. Holidays in general were very depressing and they just didn't seem to satisfy me like the days when I regularly got out of the house.

...I want something good to die for. To make it beautiful to live.

You can do what you can't do.

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post #19 of 35 (permalink) Old 11-13-2010, 11:52 PM
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I wouldn't mind being a hermit at all. I hope someday to live a reclusive life somewhere far away. I already am pretty reclusive, I hang with people occasionally, and I have a girlfriend, but I spend a lot of time alone, though not enough, really. The thing about the hikikomori, though, is that they actually do suffer from things like SA most of the time and aren't that great for Japan's economy, since they contribute little back. But aside from that, the hermit life doesn't sound bad. It's most the fact that the majority of people are extroverts.
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post #20 of 35 (permalink) Old 11-14-2010, 09:44 PM
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