Social Anxiety Support

Just Lurking · 08-02-2009, 07:24 PM

Who are you more comfortable with: Males or Females? (applies to any social setting - your overall comfort level)

MaidMarian · 08-02-2009, 07:29 PM

I feel much more comfortable around men. When I'm around other women, I feel really insecure and anxious because I constantly compare myself to them, and always come up short and feeling like a loser. Men seem to appreciate me the way I am, and enjoy my company, whereas women tend to act *****y and shut me out.

zookeeper · 08-02-2009, 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaidMarian

I feel much more comfortable around men. When I'm around other women, I feel really insecure and anxious because I constantly compare myself to them, and always come up short and feeling like a loser. Men seem to appreciate me the way I am, and enjoy my company, whereas women tend to act *****y and shut me out.

The same. Except switch the genders around. I find myself comparing myself to other males (usually unfavourably). And unless it's a woman I find at all attractive, then I become even more socially debilitated. Yay me.

huh · 08-02-2009, 07:45 PM

Generally I'm equally uncomfortable with both. If I'm attracted to them in some way, then I just get more uncomfortable. If they're older than me, then I'm usually more comfortable than usual around them.

sacred · 08-02-2009, 07:59 PM

males for sure but ive had alot of male friends and uh friendships with other men kinda bore me. at this stage of my life id much rather learn to be comfortable and spend alot of my time with females.

ChrissyQ · 08-02-2009, 08:00 PM

.

zookeeper · 08-02-2009, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChrissyQ

Females! I avoid males like they have swine flu! lol

We actually have cooties. But thankfully I hear there's a shot for it.

anonymid · 08-02-2009, 08:05 PM

Overall, I'd say I'm equally (un)comfortable with both, though I seem to have an easier time forming close friendships with women than with men.

rumjungle · 08-02-2009, 08:26 PM

I have a few close female friends...but I find men easier to become friends with. I'm a tomboy so I usually have more in common with them and I find some women to be too prissy/gossipy. Having said that...I've avoided making friends for awhile now...so I'll say I'm confused or uncomfortable with both.

kos · 08-02-2009, 08:42 PM

Males. I can't keep a conversation going with a female. I talk about the weather and all that small talk but can ever get to a deeper level. I guess i just have more in common with males.

Toad Licker · 08-02-2009, 09:07 PM

Females

homer · 08-02-2009, 09:49 PM

Males or females is about the same for me. Comfort depends more on the situation or the person.

Perfectionist · 08-02-2009, 09:55 PM

Very basic levels of interaction (sitting next to someone on a bus): Female

Acquiantance (someone I might say hi to when I see them): Male

Friend (someone I might go to a movie with): Female

Close friend (Someone I share personal things with): Male

I know that sounds ridiculously complicated and weird, but it basically boils down to two things. One, I am really bad at dealing with girl drama so I'm not usually super close with girls or small talk with them where I might say the wrong thing. Two, in situations where men and women usually flirt/smile at each other/all that I feel really awkward around guys, so I feel best in the friend zone with them where I don't have to think about that.

I know that's really convoluted, but there you go.

EagerMinnow84 · 08-02-2009, 10:30 PM

Females. None of that girl drama stuff though. I could talk to guys but I feel more self conscious. I am working on that.

nothing to fear · 08-03-2009, 12:38 AM

it still depends a lot on other aspects of the person but overall i tend to feel more comfortable with males.
i'm guessing because of similar reasons that MaidMarian mentioned.

carambola · 08-03-2009, 12:51 AM

I'm female. Males are more likely to talk to me, and when they do, I think conversations with them generally feel a little less awkward than with females. All of my few friends are male, but I think that's more about their willingness to talk to me than how comfortable *I* felt with them. A lot of women do make me feel especially uncomfortable, but so do a lot of men . . . so I don't really know.

I do think that men I like a lot (as people) are strangely kind of less intimidating than women I like a lot, in that I feel less like I am not "good enough" to talk to them.

PickleNose · 08-03-2009, 01:14 AM

I voted that I'm more comfortable with males because I very rarely feel any physical attraction for men. I often feel attracted to women which makes me very uncomfortable and self-conscious around them.

bezoomny · 08-03-2009, 02:31 AM

I'm a female who is by far more comfortable with males. I don't really know why, just the way it is.

Amelia · 08-03-2009, 02:55 AM

I used to feel more comfortable around other females, but, depending on the people concerned, tend to prefer talking to men now as it's easier to have a proper conversation with them.

caflme · 08-03-2009, 04:05 AM

Totally way more comfortable with men...

View Poll Results: Who are you more comfortable with: Males or Females?
I'm female; more comfortable with other females	22	18.80%
I'm female; more comfortable with males	18	15.38%
I'm female; equally (un)comfortable with both	8	6.84%
I'm male; more comfortable with other males	19	16.24%
I'm male; more comfortable with females	19	16.24%
I'm male; equally (un)comfortable with both	27	23.08%
I'm confused	4	3.42%
Voters: 117. You may not vote on this poll

08-02-2009, 07:24 PM	#1 (permalink)
Just Lurking Status: Student.. Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Ontario, Canada Gender: Male Posts: 2,852	Who are you more comfortable with: Males or Females? Who are you more comfortable with: Males or Females? (applies to any social setting - your overall comfort level) __________________ "The psychiatrist says, 'I think you're crazy.' The man says, 'I want a second opinion.' The psychiatrist says, 'Okay, you're ugly, too!'" ~Henny Youngman

08-02-2009, 07:29 PM	#2 (permalink)
MaidMarian Status: dazed and confused Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Vancouver, Canada Gender: Female Age: 45 Posts: 896	I feel much more comfortable around men. When I'm around other women, I feel really insecure and anxious because I constantly compare myself to them, and always come up short and feeling like a loser. Men seem to appreciate me the way I am, and enjoy my company, whereas women tend to act *****y and shut me out. __________________ No great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness. - Aristotle

08-02-2009, 07:45 PM	#4 (permalink)
huh Status: Statistical Anomaly Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: WI Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 1,037	Generally I'm equally uncomfortable with both. If I'm attracted to them in some way, then I just get more uncomfortable. If they're older than me, then I'm usually more comfortable than usual around them. __________________ "It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."

08-02-2009, 07:59 PM	#5 (permalink)
sacred Status: bored of sas Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 155	males for sure but ive had alot of male friends and uh friendships with other men kinda bore me. at this stage of my life id much rather learn to be comfortable and spend alot of my time with females. __________________

08-02-2009, 08:00 PM	#6 (permalink)
ChrissyQ Status: Keeping to myself Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Vancouver Island Canada Gender: Female Age: 30 Posts: 230	. __________________ CURE! http://www.social-anxiety-solutions....our-brain.html <<<CURE!! The biggest disease in the world today is the disease of ppl feeling unloved, unwanted & uncared for - Princess Diana

08-02-2009, 08:05 PM	#8 (permalink)
anonymid Status: gulping for shape Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Chicagoland Gender: Male Age: 30 Posts: 2,077	Overall, I'd say I'm equally (un)comfortable with both, though I seem to have an easier time forming close friendships with women than with men. __________________ "He who has not the courage to suffer either death or life, who will neither resist nor flee, what can we do with him?" - Montaigne

08-02-2009, 08:26 PM	#9 (permalink)
rumjungle Status: SAS Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Australia Gender: Female Posts: 454	I have a few close female friends...but I find men easier to become friends with. I'm a tomboy so I usually have more in common with them and I find some women to be too prissy/gossipy. Having said that...I've avoided making friends for awhile now...so I'll say I'm confused or uncomfortable with both.

08-02-2009, 08:42 PM	#10 (permalink)
kos Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Ontario Gender: Male Age: 19 Posts: 513	Males. I can't keep a conversation going with a female. I talk about the weather and all that small talk but can ever get to a deeper level. I guess i just have more in common with males.

08-02-2009, 09:07 PM	#11 (permalink)
Toad Licker Status: Broken Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: A Fruitloop Daydream Gender: Male Age: 44 Posts: 29,614	Females __________________ All will wither, go to sleep The ones you love you may not keep All you touch will fall apart The dreams you kill will break your heart There's no mercy, there's no rest The void will scream within your chest No one knows and no one will So leave this place that makes you Ill - Madder Mortem

08-02-2009, 09:49 PM	#12 (permalink)
homer Status: mmm... donuts Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: sf bay area Gender: Male Posts: 145	Males or females is about the same for me. Comfort depends more on the situation or the person.

08-02-2009, 09:55 PM	#13 (permalink)
Perfectionist Status: Too Cool for School Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: At the Hundredth Meridian Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 2,313	Very basic levels of interaction (sitting next to someone on a bus): Female Acquiantance (someone I might say hi to when I see them): Male Friend (someone I might go to a movie with): Female Close friend (Someone I share personal things with): Male I know that sounds ridiculously complicated and weird, but it basically boils down to two things. One, I am really bad at dealing with girl drama so I'm not usually super close with girls or small talk with them where I might say the wrong thing. Two, in situations where men and women usually flirt/smile at each other/all that I feel really awkward around guys, so I feel best in the friend zone with them where I don't have to think about that. I know that's really convoluted, but there you go. __________________ -Oh if Hans Christian Anderson could've had his way with me

08-02-2009, 10:30 PM	#14 (permalink)
EagerMinnow84 Status: Living in Technicolor Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Dancing with Gene Kelly Gender: Female Posts: 1,189	Females. None of that girl drama stuff though. I could talk to guys but I feel more self conscious. I am working on that. __________________ I don't know, I kind of like him. He's the exact opposite of everything I really hate. In a way, he's such a clueless dork, he's almost kind of cool

08-03-2009, 12:38 AM	#15 (permalink)
nothing to fear Status: silence is sexy Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Toronto, Canada Gender: Female Age: 20 Posts: 4,840	it still depends a lot on other aspects of the person but overall i tend to feel more comfortable with males. i'm guessing because of similar reasons that MaidMarian mentioned. __________________ everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt. ~ i really like music. and photography, though i'm nothing special.

08-03-2009, 12:51 AM	#16 (permalink)
carambola Status: SAS Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: California Age: 24 Posts: 735	I'm female. Males are more likely to talk to me, and when they do, I think conversations with them generally feel a little less awkward than with females. All of my few friends are male, but I think that's more about their willingness to talk to me than how comfortable I felt with them. A lot of women do make me feel especially uncomfortable, but so do a lot of men . . . so I don't really know. I do think that men I like a lot (as people) are strangely kind of less intimidating than women I like a lot, in that I feel less like I am not "good enough" to talk to them.

08-03-2009, 01:14 AM	#17 (permalink)
PickleNose Status: Too shy to be here Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: USA Gender: Male Age: 36 Posts: 598	I voted that I'm more comfortable with males because I very rarely feel any physical attraction for men. I often feel attracted to women which makes me very uncomfortable and self-conscious around them.

08-03-2009, 02:31 AM	#18 (permalink)
bezoomny Status: the new disease Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Mississippi Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 2,814	I'm a female who is by far more comfortable with males. I don't really know why, just the way it is. __________________ bravo - echo - zulu - oscar - oscar - mike - november - yankee

08-03-2009, 02:55 AM	#19 (permalink)
Amelia Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 3,533	I used to feel more comfortable around other females, but, depending on the people concerned, tend to prefer talking to men now as it's easier to have a proper conversation with them.

08-03-2009, 04:05 AM	#20 (permalink)
caflme Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Florida Gender: Female Age: 44 Posts: 582	Totally way more comfortable with men...