Originally Posted by Star Zero
If you are friends and actually show interest in the person, THEN ask them, it makes much more sense.
In the male community (I guess), we often hear that you need to show interest right away. If you take too long by waiting to be friends the lady you like will most likely just want you as a friend.
Originally Posted by Male on SAS Forum
All this "get to know her as friends first" stuff is FALSE!
You get to know her by hanging out with her and making your romantic interest known from the get-go. It might be insanely difficult for an SAer, but it IS the best thing you can do for yourself -- signal your interest as soon as you realize you're attracted to her. Flirt with her, gauge HER interest, get her number, ask her to hang out, do something together, flirt with her some more, and escalate from there. How fast things can progress depends on the girl.
The shyest of girls will tell you they need to get to know a guy and be comfortable with him before anything happens. (They might even say "I have to be friends with a guy first.") This does NOT mean "get to know her as a friend and pretend there's no romantic interest there." You don't want to scare her away, and you might have to wait a while before she'll even go out on a date with you, but you shouldn't be completely hiding your interest, either.
A friendship CAN turn into a relationship (seen it first hand!), but those cases are the exceptions. You're going to have a higher success rate by diving right in vs. hanging around as her "friend" (where you could be waiting a very, very long time for something that probably won't even happen).
In my opinion, approaching a stranger and asking her out makes it look like the man is viewing the woman as an object. Instead of getting to know a person, he just wants to have sex with somebody. Thats normal because most of us are horny (especially those who aren't having sex). My difficulty is building rapport with a person because my conversational skills suck.
I see a girl wearing a Phil Collins t-shirt
Me: Hey, you like Phil Collins?
Me: Me too, I really like his song "Easy Lover." What is your favorite song of his?
Girl: Land of Confusion (Its by Genesis but whatever I can't think of another Phil Collins song)
Me: Thats cool, I like that song.
*Me trying to think of something else to say, mind is blank*
Me: Well, cya (Leaving cause I can't think of anything else to say and I don't want to just stand there and look at her for fear of being a "creep")