women should approach guys more... - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 82 (permalink) Old 02-12-2009, 12:39 PM Thread Starter
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women should approach guys more...

seriously.
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post #2 of 82 (permalink) Old 02-12-2009, 12:49 PM
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It's happened to me a couple times, but it was still ackward. If you don't know how to handle that situation, then it doesn't matter who does the approaching.
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post #3 of 82 (permalink) Old 02-12-2009, 12:53 PM
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Yeah, would agree. It dosen't matter who does the approaching. In our case, it's a lot better we approach because then we can say we can do it anytime we want!
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post #4 of 82 (permalink) Old 02-12-2009, 12:55 PM
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In my time, I have approached guys.
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post #5 of 82 (permalink) Old 02-12-2009, 01:00 PM Thread Starter
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yea but, as a guy.. you risk being looked at as scary, a perv, a stalker, and a whole other host of things.

A girl approaching seems much more appropriate.

Not that us guys shouldn't try either but... most of the time guys dont want to approach because they are at risk of being seen as scary, etc. and don't want to bother the girl.

If a guy can show he's interested just because he doesn't approach women are going to think you are a PUSSEE? Come on.. that's like..

Maybe he doesn't want to scare you!
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post #6 of 82 (permalink) Old 02-12-2009, 01:06 PM
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Its a question of training your perception.

man.. they do it more than you think, and they do it in such a subtle way, compared to how guys do it.

I usually realize after the fact and the few times I assumed they are into me.. it worked out much better.

but yeah, i love girls who are aggresive.

If you read ads from woman, sometimes they use the phrase, 'I want a guy who know what he wants and how to get it"

so from now on, when I put an online ad, its going to say " I want a girl who knows what she wants (me), and knows how to get it
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post #7 of 82 (permalink) Old 02-12-2009, 01:22 PM Thread Starter
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wel it's just that. guys are more physically stronger than women I guess... and women are always "sacred" and such, and supposedly "delicate".

I guess I'm just a psycho then.

I've never had a relatinoship as well, as a youngster, nor as I am now.

So I've never had a girl let me know "it's ok".

It's never been ok for me.
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post #8 of 82 (permalink) Old 02-12-2009, 01:25 PM Thread Starter
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maybe I am just a creep.
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post #9 of 82 (permalink) Old 02-12-2009, 01:32 PM
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I'm kinda glad I usually got to do the pursuing, since I was always more attracted if the woman played it coy at first. I never wanted it to be too easy.

Rarely have I ever been pursued by a woman I actually wanted to date, so at some point I began assuming that if one was pursuing me, there was probably something unattractive about her...and being OCD, I was always able to find that something in 0.0035 seconds.
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post #10 of 82 (permalink) Old 02-12-2009, 01:38 PM Thread Starter
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well good for you sandspants you are more of a man then. you are the alpha and I am the beta.
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post #11 of 82 (permalink) Old 02-12-2009, 05:18 PM
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they dont have the balls to do it
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post #12 of 82 (permalink) Old 02-12-2009, 05:24 PM
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I would like it just because I don't have the balls to do it, haha.
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post #13 of 82 (permalink) Old 02-12-2009, 06:24 PM Thread Starter
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rofl yeaz

but they have the titz to.

but yea men can be scary too lol.
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post #14 of 82 (permalink) Old 02-12-2009, 06:35 PM
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The one time I got the nerve to approach a guy, he told me I must be pretty desperate, because that's the only time a girl would ever approach a guy. He then went on to tell me how needy I was, and stupid for not understanding that his little flirting was just because he was 'bored', not because he 'felt anything'.
Crazy, I know, but it did change my way of thinking so that I'll most likely never have the courage to approach anyone else again lol
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post #15 of 82 (permalink) Old 02-12-2009, 06:36 PM
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well good for you sandspants you are more of a man then. you are the alpha and I am the beta.
I've had my other reaons as well. For example, the first few minutes of talking to someone I was interested in...were always about as uncomfortable as electrocution. If I approached them without an excuse and I looked uncomfortable about it, I had a reason, since doing so was a big step. And if I asked them out, I had a really good reason. On the other hand, if I was the one being approached but still appeared uncomfortable, it appeared as though I wanted them to go away. Lol.

So being the pursuer kept me out of situations that could have confused them, and sabotaged me.
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post #16 of 82 (permalink) Old 02-12-2009, 06:38 PM
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The one time I got the nerve to approach a guy, he told me I must be pretty desperate, because that's the only time a girl would ever approach a guy. He then went on to tell me how needy I was, and stupid for not understanding that his little flirting was just because he was 'bored', not because he 'felt anything'.
Crazy, I know, but it did change my way of thinking so that I'll most likely never have the courage to approach anyone else again lol
That's awful that he said those things.

- I'mma be the syrup she can be my waffle.
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post #17 of 82 (permalink) Old 02-12-2009, 06:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Karah876 View Post
The one time I got the nerve to approach a guy, he told me I must be pretty desperate, because that's the only time a girl would ever approach a guy. He then went on to tell me how needy I was, and stupid for not understanding that his little flirting was just because he was 'bored', not because he 'felt anything'.
Crazy, I know, but it did change my way of thinking so that I'll most likely never have the courage to approach anyone else again lol
Holy sh!t, what a jerk. That's the kind of experience that leads one to a social anxiety forum.
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post #18 of 82 (permalink) Old 02-12-2009, 06:42 PM
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I think that in general, if a guy likes a girl, he will pursue her no matter what. I always thought that guys would generally play a more aggressive/assertive girl that showed an interest in them for amusement or booty call.
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post #19 of 82 (permalink) Old 02-12-2009, 06:44 PM
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It was horrible, it's not all he said either, just the nicest of things he said. I kinda blanked out for the rest of the conversation, just waiting for my perfect opportunity to leave with at least the appearance of some dignity intact. I suppose it's stupid to let that make me decide I'll never try it again, but that's just the way I am.
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post #20 of 82 (permalink) Old 02-12-2009, 06:51 PM Thread Starter
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I think that in general, if a guy likes a girl, he will pursue her no matter what. I always thought that guys would generally play a more aggressive/assertive girl that showed an interest in them for amusement or booty call.
not always true. if guy likes a girl he wont always pursue her. he might just want to save her the "drama" if he thinks there might be any.

I don't expect too much from any girl enough to want to pursue a relationships SO MUCH that I would do anything for her.

on the other hand I've done quite a bit just for love. but from a specific girl no. I just want love.
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