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Old 02-05-2007, 03:19 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default why does everyone hate me?

people never start conversations with me, and when they do, it's about something that's obvious.

nobody calls me, other than family members

when I walk out of a room, everyone's mood suddenly changes

nobody gives me compliments, other than my mom

I don't understand why I deserve this.
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Old 02-05-2007, 05:59 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Default re: why does everyone hate me?

Thats how it is for me too. I think introverted people give off an aura or somthing, because my whole life I have never been approached by people wanting to talk me as well. I never made the effort to talk to people either...

I used to look like a nice friendly guy when i was younger, i tried to smile and all that. While in the military i realized I was going to be one of those guys who will live alone for ever, and basically accepted it. Now i look unfriendly. Beanie, thick stubble length beard, jacket. Don't smile much any more unless i see somthing really funny. But at least the kids who live near me think i'm a bad *** heh. Too bad im actually an obsurdly shy person.

I don't know how old you are but i suggest you dont let your self be like me, 32 and alone. Im afriad im stuck in my ways and i hope you don't end up like me. Try and make an effort when you are younger and don't end up a hermit .
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Old 02-06-2007, 12:53 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: why does everyone hate me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by thatswet
people never start conversations with me, and when they do, it's about something that's obvious.
Do you start conversations with them?

Quote:
nobody calls me, other than family members
Do you call them?

Quote:
when I walk out of a room, everyone's mood suddenly changes
How do you know are you psychic?

Quote:
nobody gives me compliments, other than my mom
Do you give other people compliments?

I don't understand why I deserve this.[/quote]

You have to put yourself out there, you can't wait around for people to come to you. The more you give the more you will get back.
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Old 02-06-2007, 02:16 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Default re: why does everyone hate me?

I do try to start conversations sometimes and I have called other people. I give people I know compliments on occasion.
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Old 02-06-2007, 02:38 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: why does everyone hate me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kimberly69
Quote:
Originally Posted by thatswet
people never start conversations with me, and when they do, it's about something that's obvious.
Do you start conversations with them?

Quote:
nobody calls me, other than family members
Do you call them?

[quote:7774c]when I walk out of a room, everyone's mood suddenly changes
How do you know are you psychic?

Quote:
nobody gives me compliments, other than my mom
Do you give other people compliments?

I don't understand why I deserve this.[/quote:7774c]

You have to put yourself out there, you can't wait around for people to come to you. The more you give the more you will get back.[/quote]

I've done all those things, and still, like the poster, I'm pretty much ignored by everyone around me. Hell, its been two weeks since my birthday and none of my family could even have been bothered to visit me yet.
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Old 02-06-2007, 02:53 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Default re: why does everyone hate me?

just dont give up. I know it sucks bieng alone and having noone. The few that you do have forget about you... I was the same way and I gave up... Now I could care less if anyone remembers my B day. I have alotta anger towards everone.. I grew cold and one of the reasons why is because I gave up on things like your going through...
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Old 02-06-2007, 03:09 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: re: why does everyone hate me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by thatswet
I do try to start conversations sometimes and I have called other people. I give people I know compliments on occasion.
That's good! You are trying! I don't have a lot going on in my life socially either and I know why, I don't reach out. I avoid all of the time. I'm fine with that, though. I know people don't hate me, they don't even know me.
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Old 02-06-2007, 03:18 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: why does everyone hate me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ColdFury
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kimberly69
Quote:
Originally Posted by thatswet
people never start conversations with me, and when they do, it's about something that's obvious.
Do you start conversations with them?

Quote:
nobody calls me, other than family members
Do you call them?

[quote:ae7ac]when I walk out of a room, everyone's mood suddenly changes
How do you know are you psychic?

[quote:ae7ac]nobody gives me compliments, other than my mom
Do you give other people compliments?

I don't understand why I deserve this.[/quote:ae7ac]

You have to put yourself out there, you can't wait around for people to come to you. The more you give the more you will get back.[/quote:ae7ac]

Quote:
I've done all those things, and still, like the poster, I'm pretty much ignored by everyone around me. Hell, its been two weeks since my birthday and none of my family could even have been bothered to visit me yet.
It still sounds like you are waiting around for them to notice you. To notice that you had a birthday. Maybe, your family is very busy or they don't care about birthdays, I don't know. If you want to be with your family go see them or call them.
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Old 02-06-2007, 08:22 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: why does everyone hate me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kimberly69
Quote:
Originally Posted by ColdFury
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kimberly69
Quote:
Originally Posted by thatswet
people never start conversations with me, and when they do, it's about something that's obvious.
Do you start conversations with them?

Quote:
nobody calls me, other than family members
Do you call them?

[quote:c2fc8]when I walk out of a room, everyone's mood suddenly changes
How do you know are you psychic?

[quote:c2fc8]nobody gives me compliments, other than my mom
Do you give other people compliments?

I don't understand why I deserve this.
You have to put yourself out there, you can't wait around for people to come to you. The more you give the more you will get back.[/quote:c2fc8]

Quote:
I've done all those things, and still, like the poster, I'm pretty much ignored by everyone around me. Hell, its been two weeks since my birthday and none of my family could even have been bothered to visit me yet.
It still sounds like you are waiting around for them to notice you. To notice that you had a birthday. Maybe, your family is very busy or they don't care about birthdays, I don't know. If you want to be with your family go see them or call them.[/quote:c2fc8]

They know I had a birthday. I can't go see them, they live 90 minutes away. They've told me they're too busy, and maybe they'll visit me in a month.
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Old 03-28-2011, 03:22 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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It's not true that everyone hates you. What is true is that you process all of your experiences to derive the same meaning from them: that everyone hates you. You derive comfort from self-pitying behavior and externalizing your problems. You enjoy being a victim. By being a victim, you can garner attention. However, the attention you do get from this negative attention-seeking behavior is not fulfilling precisely because it is not a positive experience.

If you truly want to solve this problem, examine why you like the self-pitying, and be willing to admit that it's unlikely that everyone hates you. That you are interpreting everyone's behaviors that way. Now, it may be true that you are driving people away with your self-pitying behavior, but that problem will resolve itself once you honestly tackle the problem of what you are accomplishing for yourself by engaging in self-pitying.

We all have times when we feel alone and that no one cares about us. That's life. It's your responsibility, not the world's, to go out and form the relationships you need to stay sane and balanced. Right now, you're abdicating that responsibility.
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Old 03-28-2011, 10:05 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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I love you. See, there ya go. Not everyone hates you.
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Old 03-28-2011, 11:24 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Kimberly raised a good point.

I have failed everytime I put myself out there. People just don't dig my personality. Oh well.

Sorry to hear you're having these issues too.

My mother is the only one I get compliments from, too.
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Old 03-29-2011, 05:06 AM   #13 (permalink)
 
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I don't hate you! Infact I love you.
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Old 03-29-2011, 05:22 AM   #14 (permalink)
 
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I often used to get this feeling that everybody hates me. But I'm sure the only one who really hates me is myself. And therefore I give this vibe to the people and they also start responding to me in a negative way. I guess you have to focus on liking yourself more and just deliberately calming yourself down and repeating a kind of mantra in your head "There is nothing wrong with me. I am a nice, likable person". I find this helps me the most.
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Old 03-29-2011, 09:45 AM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Maybe because people find you boring, i'm not trying to be rude, but what happens to you is the same with what happens to me, so that's my guess, because you're probably boring and not interesting. Sorry. =/
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Old 05-05-2011, 11:21 PM   #16 (permalink)
 
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idk what i do wrong i try so hard to become someone thats liked and i dont me being fake i just wanna have some close friends. i get used so much cause i put so much effort to be a good friend. i call people i buy things i do favors. then i get shot down. no one calls me ever or ever wants to hang out. and when i think i have someone they stab me in the back. idk but im so sick of it and idk what to do i drink way to much now cause thats the only thing that makes me feel like im living, i no thats bad but idk what to do i have so many things going aginst me all the time, i never have a break even flow of things happen, idk but i just wanna go away its like i dont have a place in peoples lives anyway
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Old 05-05-2011, 11:24 PM   #17 (permalink)
 
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I'm going to be blunt here. You are probably the only one that hates you. Learn to love yourself and everything else will follow.
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Old 05-06-2011, 02:34 AM   #18 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
why does everyone hate me?
how should we know, we dont know you.
maybe you can answer this quesiton yourself. ask yourself wether you come off as approachable or not. wethere you smilie at people, you look friendly.

do you show an intrest in other people, do you ask them about their stuff (children, hobby, job etc)
are you a funny person?
answersing this questions will give you a good idea wether you are a likeable person or not.

aside from this, every person should be treated respectfully and with dignety, no matter if they are likeable or not.
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Old 05-06-2011, 03:21 AM   #19 (permalink)
 
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You have to learn to be okay with yourself just like a lot of us here.

BTW None of us hate you!
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Old 05-06-2011, 05:09 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thatswet View Post
people never start conversations with me, and when they do, it's about something that's obvious.

nobody calls me, other than family members

when I walk out of a room, everyone's mood suddenly changes

nobody gives me compliments, other than my mom

I don't understand why I deserve this.
Unfortunately you haven't disclosed your gender; my advice differs depending on whether you're male or female.

If you're male then people don't like you because you're not "cool" enough; if you're female it's because you're not physically attractive enough.

To be cool, you have to do the following:
- Magically cure yourself of SA.
- Develop an arrogant swagger when you walk.
- Call everyone "dude".
- When a group of girls are *****ing about someone, join in--they love that.
- Incorporate as much slang into your vocabulary as possible.
- Talk enthusiastically about popular culture; films, music, etc. And do so with an overly animated face and preferably a Welsh accent.
- Generally be a complete *******.


Many people on this site seem a bit naive. The fact is, people (girls especially*) are attracted to "coolness" and more generally social status. Shy men are considered losers in our society (unless they somehow get rich). For the average person, continually striving to out-"cool" each other is practically their hobby. If your hobby is something academic instead, then you'll have to wait until you're rich before people respect you.

*most girls are incredibly sensitive to notions of "geekiness" and are actually repulsed by it.


After writing that, I realise this advice (it's actually a rant disguised as advice) assumes that you're roughly the same age as me (22). My "advice" might be different otherwise.


Hope this helps.
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