I hate it when people stare, it makes my anxiety so much worse. I'll be in a good mood then all of a sudden I'll catch somebody staring at me, It makes me really angry.
Every time I catch them staring, they have that Cocky/Smirk/WTF look on there face
(you know what I'm talking about) it's kinda made me not like people. It confirms my fears that people are judging me.
At first i thought it was because I was quiet. But even in public people I don't even know give me this nasty scowl.
WTF is going on? Why do you hate me?! You don't even know me! What have I done to deserve such hate? I'm just minding my own business! Leave me alone! It's very frustrating, it's like no matter what I do people just hate me.I know I'm quiet, but I'm not a criminal. I know I'm shy, but I'm not a murder! Just leave me alone. It's so frustrating.
When people stare at me in class, it's torture!
That's why I skip a lot. I can't study, I can't concentrate. It's made going to class practically pointless. I don't know what the teach is talking about. I'm more worried about people staring at me then what's being taught.
It's happened in every class I've attended. First one person, then two, then 5. And the next thing you know the whole class is staring at me out of the corner of their eye, even the teacher.
It's kind of made me hate people.
It has to be cause I'm quiet. It has to be because I don't say much. I'm not the only quite person in class, but for some reason only I...I GET NASTY LOOKS. It's like other people can get away with being quiet, but not me...NOT ME!!!! It's like why aren't you saying anything weirdo!? Maybe it's because I don't feel like saying anything. So mind your own business!
They say just be yourself, but when I'm being myself..when I'm being most true to me it pisses people off for some reason. So what if I don't talk a lot I don't "feel" like saying anything. Why can't people just mind their own business...listen... I'M NOT LIKE YOU...so mind you own business...and leave me alone. I almost feel like flicking them off, but I'd get into trouble if I did. THIS IS WHO I AM...so frustrating. Everywhere I go people stare.
When I WANT to say something Ill say something. But when I feel like I'm being PRESSURED to say something, that is what causes me anxiety.
It's like you have to ACT a certain way... you have to TALK a certain way to be accepted.. IT'S ALL AN ACT ANYWAY
sure i could put on a front and act like every other person you see on tv. But I don't feel like it....SOME ARE BETTER ACTORS THEN OTHERS......SOME CAN FAKE IT..SOME CAN'T...I WON'T!!!..I DON'T FEEL I SHOULD HAVE TO ACT TO BE ACCEPTED...WHY DO I HAVE TO PUT ON A SHOW....
THIS IS WHO I AM...IT'S GENETIC
...so let me get this straight..I have to train myself to be a better actor to get anywhere in this world...I HAVE TO PUT ON AN ACT TO BE LIKED BY OTHER PEOPLE...WHAT A FCKED UP JUDGMENTAL SOCIETY WE LIVE IN..