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Old 08-30-2010, 02:08 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Why do people stare at me?

I hate it when people stare, it makes my anxiety so much worse. I'll be in a good mood then all of a sudden I'll catch somebody staring at me, It makes me really angry. Every time I catch them staring, they have that Cocky/Smirk/WTF look on there face (you know what I'm talking about) it's kinda made me not like people. It confirms my fears that people are judging me.

At first i thought it was because I was quiet. But even in public people I don't even know give me this nasty scowl. WTF is going on? Why do you hate me?! You don't even know me! What have I done to deserve such hate? I'm just minding my own business! Leave me alone! It's very frustrating, it's like no matter what I do people just hate me.I know I'm quiet, but I'm not a criminal. I know I'm shy, but I'm not a murder! Just leave me alone. It's so frustrating.

When people stare at me in class, it's torture! That's why I skip a lot. I can't study, I can't concentrate. It's made going to class practically pointless. I don't know what the teach is talking about. I'm more worried about people staring at me then what's being taught. It's happened in every class I've attended. First one person, then two, then 5. And the next thing you know the whole class is staring at me out of the corner of their eye, even the teacher. It's kind of made me hate people.

It has to be cause I'm quiet. It has to be because I don't say much. I'm not the only quite person in class, but for some reason only I...I GET NASTY LOOKS. It's like other people can get away with being quiet, but not me...NOT ME!!!! It's like why aren't you saying anything weirdo!? Maybe it's because I don't feel like saying anything. So mind your own business!

They say just be yourself, but when I'm being myself..when I'm being most true to me it pisses people off for some reason. So what if I don't talk a lot I don't "feel" like saying anything. Why can't people just mind their own business...listen... I'M NOT LIKE YOU...so mind you own business...and leave me alone. I almost feel like flicking them off, but I'd get into trouble if I did. THIS IS WHO I AM...so frustrating. Everywhere I go people stare.

When I WANT to say something Ill say something. But when I feel like I'm being PRESSURED to say something, that is what causes me anxiety.

It's like you have to ACT a certain way... you have to TALK a certain way to be accepted.. IT'S ALL AN ACT ANYWAY sure i could put on a front and act like every other person you see on tv. But I don't feel like it....SOME ARE BETTER ACTORS THEN OTHERS......SOME CAN FAKE IT..SOME CAN'T...I WON'T!!!..I DON'T FEEL I SHOULD HAVE TO ACT TO BE ACCEPTED...WHY DO I HAVE TO PUT ON A SHOW.... THIS IS WHO I AM...IT'S GENETIC ...so let me get this straight..I have to train myself to be a better actor to get anywhere in this world...I HAVE TO PUT ON AN ACT TO BE LIKED BY OTHER PEOPLE...WHAT A FCKED UP JUDGMENTAL SOCIETY WE LIVE IN..

-End Rant
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Old 08-30-2010, 05:26 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
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ello moite

If the majority are actors, then i'm the one sitting in the audience spectating the show they're all performing. So far it's a pretty bad play, most are sketchy forced actors being shoved on stage and aren't feeling uncomfortable. I'm seriously ready to walk out of this.
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Old 08-30-2010, 05:40 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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thats why I've dropped out 2 times in highschool and actually was out of school for 3 years before then. I hate going to in the store, walking around the neighborhood...all because of the staring. It really does suck. I've tried acting out and it only helped a little because afterwhile people realized I was just being fake they got about as tired of me as I was of myself. This year I'm going to ignore it the best I can. We can't keep skipping class and expect everything to be okay.
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Old 08-30-2010, 05:43 AM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LaRibbon View Post
I would say a good deal of it is in your imagination.
that's what I think sometimes. I used to be totally scared to walk up to Wal-mart (down the street from my house) because I kept thinking every person in every car that drove past me was staring me down for as long as they could. Now THAT was in my imagination.
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Old 08-30-2010, 06:10 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
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I get the stares a lot as well. If I'm in school, I just look away and forget about it because I have to deal with these people every day and I do not want any trouble from them. I just let them think they're all that so they will leave me alone and then we both move on with our lives. If it's someone I don't even know and they give me a scowl stare when I've never done anything to them, I stare right back. I let them know whose boss without even saying a word to them. It just depends on my mood. Sometimes I feel like sticking up for myself, while other times I don't give a darn.
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Old 08-30-2010, 06:44 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
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I get nervous when people stare at me too;I get mixed feelings like am I weird looking or dressed wrong,why are you staring?Sometimes a stare can be a good thing if its a girl,who you thinks may like you,especially when they look at you and smile,which happens allot with me but,I'm to afraid to go up to them and find out.As soon as they smile I quickly look away.Another missed chance at happiness.
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Old 08-30-2010, 08:41 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by Tsref22 View Post
I hate it when people stare, it makes my anxiety so much worse. I'll be in a good mood then all of a sudden I'll catch somebody staring at me, It makes me really angry. Every time I catch them staring, they have that Cocky/Smirk/WTF look on there face (you know what I'm talking about) it's kinda made me not like people. It confirms my fears that people are judging me.

At first i thought it was because I was quiet. But even in public people I don't even know give me this nasty scowl. WTF is going on? Why do you hate me?! You don't even know me! What have I done to deserve such hate? I'm just minding my own business! Leave me alone! It's very frustrating, it's like no matter what I do people just hate me.I know I'm quiet, but I'm not a criminal. I know I'm shy, but I'm not a murder! Just leave me alone. It's so frustrating.

When people stare at me in class, it's torture! That's why I skip a lot. I can't study, I can't concentrate. It's made going to class practically pointless. I don't know what the teach is talking about. I'm more worried about people staring at me then what's being taught. It's happened in every class I've attended. First one person, then two, then 5. And the next thing you know the whole class is staring at me out of the corner of their eye, even the teacher. It's kind of made me hate people.

It has to be cause I'm quiet. It has to be because I don't say much. I'm not the only quite person in class, but for some reason only I...I GET NASTY LOOKS. It's like other people can get away with being quiet, but not me...NOT ME!!!! It's like why aren't you saying anything weirdo!? Maybe it's because I don't feel like saying anything. So mind your own business!

They say just be yourself, but when I'm being myself..when I'm being most true to me it pisses people off for some reason. So what if I don't talk a lot I don't "feel" like saying anything. Why can't people just mind their own business...listen... I'M NOT LIKE YOU...so mind you own business...and leave me alone. I almost feel like flicking them off, but I'd get into trouble if I did. THIS IS WHO I AM...so frustrating. Everywhere I go people stare.

When I WANT to say something Ill say something. But when I feel like I'm being PRESSURED to say something, that is what causes me anxiety.

It's like you have to ACT a certain way... you have to TALK a certain way to be accepted.. IT'S ALL AN ACT ANYWAY sure i could put on a front and act like every other person you see on tv. But I don't feel like it....SOME ARE BETTER ACTORS THEN OTHERS......SOME CAN FAKE IT..SOME CAN'T...I WON'T!!!..I DON'T FEEL I SHOULD HAVE TO ACT TO BE ACCEPTED...WHY DO I HAVE TO PUT ON A SHOW.... THIS IS WHO I AM...IT'S GENETIC ...so let me get this straight..I have to train myself to be a better actor to get anywhere in this world...I HAVE TO PUT ON AN ACT TO BE LIKED BY OTHER PEOPLE...WHAT A FCKED UP JUDGMENTAL SOCIETY WE LIVE IN..

-End Rant
I know exactly how you feel. It's almost as though I wrote this myself. I can completely relate.
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Old 08-30-2010, 09:01 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
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I think you should say what you want regardless, no matter how some else is going to take it, it isnt like you are trying to say things deliberatly to hurt them.

I said in class the other day that men where better athletes than women. I guess some people in class didnt like that and a few people around me said I got some looks. I thought it was funny.

But yea, I feel you for the most part, but I dont think you should care about what someone is going to think about what you said.
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Old 08-30-2010, 10:23 AM   #9 (permalink)
 
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this is sooo irritating . it happens to me everywhere i go, yesterday in home depo for example. i got SO annoyed what the hell are people looking at??? i can understand if they looked at everyone like that but noo just me not even who im with JUST ME ! like i wonder if its because im looking at them?no because i CATCH them looking at me...the person thats with me usually doesnt notice but it has me tense has heck an i usually start walking an looking all awkward.
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Old 08-30-2010, 10:35 AM   #10 (permalink)
 
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OK, first breath...

And seconed, just wanted to say i get exactly where your coming from! Everytime im in class, im convinced that everyones looking at me (and they are, its not jsut my imagination) and then then that makes me even more nervous and anxious, and then its this massive cycle! its horriible, and its made me look at people so differently now!
Like you said, you judge people differently.
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Old 08-30-2010, 12:00 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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They stare because you are good looking!
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Old 08-30-2010, 12:28 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by so_so_shy View Post
They stare because you are good looking!
Lol there clearly jealous.

But yeah at my Uni i sometimes walk past people from the classes they just go "hi.." and give off a really nerving stare, or it looks like they feel really awkward being around me which in return makes me uneasy after the entirety of the days 'social adventures'.I'm just incredibly distant from everyone, there all being **** in there own world and i'm somewhere completely different.I used to avoid eye contact all together and just be plain terrified, now i can actually stare at people but i think it makes them queezy because i still can't really talk..i give off some vibe i dunno.
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Old 08-30-2010, 12:28 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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I'm going to agree that most of it is probably a mental thing. I did this, too. I couldn't go to school because I thought everyone was staring at me, wondering what was wrong with me and judging everything I did. Even though I didn't speak, I thought they just knew every detail of my life and were waiting to ridicule me. Sit in front of a store window? People are staring me down, even if I can't see them. Woman glances at me from her car looking annoyed? Must be my fault.

I still feel like this sometimes, but I realize it's not necessarily true. And if someone IS staring? Sometimes they really don't even see you. I caught myself today staring at two guys having a convo in the parking lot. Not because I was judging, not because I really cared, I was just bored in the parking lot and got tired of staring at my hands. I noticed I had a pissed off look on my face, too. It was hot and I'd been there an hour. Nothing to do with the people I was glaring at.

tl;dr - People are generally so wrapped up in their issues, even when they are glaring at you or picking at something you've said, it's more about them than about you. It's okay to be quiet, people don't really give a **** if you're quiet, and if they do care? F them, it's not their business. It sounds cold, but you have to make a conscious decision to not give a crap about what other people think. I've found it's a lot easier to deal with strangers when I remind myself that.
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Old 08-30-2010, 12:47 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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I can totally relate to this post...so sad...
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Old 08-30-2010, 02:12 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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I have this issue as well. I don't look at it as drastically as the TC, tho. More times than not, I'm just afraid people are judging me, even though there is no logical reason in believing all of these people have something against me. I've gotten better with this.
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Old 08-30-2010, 08:10 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kid a View Post
like i wonder if its because im looking at them?no because i CATCH them looking at me...the person thats with me usually doesnt notice but it has me tense has heck an i usually start walking an looking all awkward.
I totally agree with the walking and looking awkard part i just recently asked a question about this! I think ppl stare because they can sense that we are not comfortable.....something may look a lil diff about us and they stare at us SA ppl for entertainment..they think that we are too scared to do or say anything about their staring.
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Old 08-31-2010, 01:32 AM   #17 (permalink)
 
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People stare at everyone and everything around them. Usually only for a couple of seconds. They scan their surroundings. If you look back the stare will last a lot longer. It's best to just ignore them or if they smile smile back.
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Old 08-31-2010, 09:05 AM   #18 (permalink)
 
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I feel the same way. On the train, walking alone, in class. My mind just starts racing as soon as I see the first person staring at me. I just drank juice did my lips turn purple or red or blue? Do I have something on my face? Do my eyes look like they're having a seizure? Did the wind mess up my hair? Those are some of my most common thoughts.
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Old 08-31-2010, 12:42 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
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I stare at women that I'm attracted to
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Old 08-31-2010, 05:59 PM   #20 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
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I stare at women that I'm attracted to
This. Maybe you're rather good looking?
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