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Old 02-29-2012, 10:34 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default Why can't people admit they're wrong?

I have a problem with 2 particular people in my life that absolutely refuse to admit they are wrong. The first is my 5 year son, no matter how much evidence I have to him being wrong he will refuse to admit it. Many a times I'll catch him in the act of doing something wrong ie hitting and he will never admit he did it. I hope this is a phase and he will grow out of it.

The second and the one who I have a bigger issue with is my brother. During our 20+ years together i can't remember any single moment he would admit he's wrong without an excuse. He'll either out right deny it or blame it on me some how such as saying he misinterpreted because I explained it poorly.

Its his latest denial that has me so peeved. I asked him to book the amenity room in his apartment so my anxiety/depression group can have a get together and he told me last week that it was done. So I get our coordinator to put it on our site and now a week later my brother says "BTW you can't book the room for next week someone has it already." I say "You already told me last week it was done, I asked you twice to make sure before I had it posted" He outright denies ever saying he booked it already and says I must have misunderstood. No way in hell would I give the go ahead to our coordinator and risk embarrassment without confirmation. Now I dread having to tell the coordinator we can't have the room and everyone that RSVPed will know that I messed up. I would be less pissed if my brother just said "Sorry dude I messed up".

Do you guys have people in your life who refuse to admit they are wrong? Better yet are you one of those people and can give me some insight into why you refuse to admit your wrong.
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Old 02-29-2012, 10:48 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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I just know that in general, people are tough customers. In every way.

( I know that doesn't come close to what your asking though, lol)
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Old 04-12-2012, 03:07 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Default People who can't admit when they are wrong

Hi there, thanks for your post. I have a 10 year old and he does admit when he is wrong, so I am no expert on children, except I think it may be a learned behavior from someone close in your family, maybe your brother??!! But i can relate to your brother, mine is the same and if it comes down to saying he was wrong, he won't actually say the words that he was wrong, but instead twist what happened and quickly say the matter was resolved.

BUT MY BOYFRIEND-MY GOODNESS!!! He will twist all the blame on me when it was totally him that started and i have become so tiresome of his never admitting wrong doings, but going as far to make it seem that I caused everything when it was he himself that created the situation. So I guess he creates bad scenes/starts arguments then never admits that he did anything and goes as far as to say YOU need to stop blaming me when YOU caused this all!!!

I have tried every reasonable thing that is normal, but nothing works i just say ya uh huh now!!

One last comment I would like to state is that I have even told him that I will be HAPPY to admit when I am wrong because I don't want the wrongs to happen again and I want to learn from my mistakes so I like facing my wrongs!! Also, it takes a man to admit when he is wrong and anyone who just says, hey I was wrong, thanks for pointing it out and tries not to let it happen again, it might but if they admit and try to learn from it, I praise them!! I think all those wrongs that they don't admit to are gonna explode one day if they continue to lie or bottle up too many!! I would like to start a campaign of some king that says it's cool to admit when your wrong, and start telling your kids this at an early age!! GOD BLESS!!
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Old 04-12-2012, 03:11 AM   #4 (permalink)
 
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i never admit my mistakes..untill i am really feeling guilty abt it..
its human nature..i am stubborn...the only thing i can do is keep quiet n watch the show..I hate myself at this!!
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Old 04-12-2012, 03:21 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Some people just never will admit they are wrong - it's just the way they are. Unfortunately, such people often have very successful careers in fields like politics, the military, and senior management, and end up making life Hell for the rest of us.
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Old 04-12-2012, 06:29 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
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When I have my mind made up about something, I am not wrong. The person who wants me to change my mind is wrong for trying to control my mind.
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Old 04-12-2012, 07:39 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
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To be fair, on the first one, your son is only five years old. I don't think there's anyone that age who doesn't think that they're wrong. There's likely more hope in that case as you have time to make sure that that simply will be just a phase most of us have gone through anyway.

In any case, a lot of these people have issues with pride. They have too much of it, and being seen as wrong or *gasp* admitting that they might be wrong is like the death knell for them. I've encountered plenty of people who are like this, in real life and online.

Ever been around the person who seems just a little more critical of you than some others and kind of acts like they are more reluctant to show anything of them where there is a remote possibility that they might be incorrect about something or something that'll have them not looked in a positive light? Seems like these people have their **** together, right? Well, no. Not necessarily, but they might be more insecure and have these types of issues. Pride being one of them. How they were brought up might also have something to do with it too.

I have a strange combination of a big fear of being "wrong" or having people know that I do (or have done) things that they might judge me less-than-positively on. But yet, I can't be bothered to act too much like the "always right" people like what I described earlier. I'll be alright with having something not be looked at as the "proper" way to act. The hell with that snobby nonsense.

Just some food for thought I'd throw out there, from my experiences and analysis.

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Originally Posted by FTFADIA View Post
Better yet are you one of those people and can give me some insight into why you refuse to admit your wrong.
I seriously doubt anyone here who falls into that category is going to even think about admitting this to you and answer this question. Ironically, answering is question would require them to have to forfeit some of their pride (among other things) and thus would sort of defeat the purpose of upholding why they think they are "always right" in the first place.
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Old 04-12-2012, 07:53 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Refusal to admit to being wrong is a healthy sign of self-assurance and confidence. Such people tend to do far better in life, however annoying you may find them.

Regardless, nobody likes admitting they are wrong, including the people castigating others for not admitting they are wrong.

You give the example of your brother blaming his mistakes on your poor explanation. It is almost certainly the case that there has been at least one occasion when this was indeed true.

Your saying "It isn't my fault for explaining it poorly" is surely not too disimilar to his saying "It isn't my fault for making the mistake"...both of you refuse to admit you are wrong, regardless as to which (one, both, or neither) of you are. It's just human nature.
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Old 04-12-2012, 08:02 AM   #9 (permalink)
 
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[QUOTE=BlazingLazer;1059828988]To be fair, on the first one, your son is only five years old. I don't think there's anyone that age who doesn't think that they're wrong. There's likely more hope in that case as you have time to make sure that that simply will be just a phase most of us have gone through anyway.


What BlazingLazer said verbatim.
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Old 04-12-2012, 08:11 AM   #10 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Resonance View Post
Refusal to admit to being wrong is a healthy sign of self-assurance and confidence. Such people tend to do far better in life, however annoying you may find them.
really? I disagree...when I meet people who can never admit they're wrong, I take it as a sign of insecurity and/or immaturity and I definitely lose respect for them. I've found this to be the case in the workplace too...those who can't own up to their mistakes and are always making excuses for themselves are not looked upon favorably by higher ups. it takes courage to be able to admit when you're wrong. people who can't are cowardly.
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Old 04-12-2012, 08:57 AM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlazingLazer View Post

In any case, a lot of these people have issues with pride. They have too much of it, and being seen as wrong or *gasp* admitting that they might be wrong is like the death knell for them. I've encountered plenty of people who are like this, in real life and online.
I agree with this.

I have a brother who has this issue. I cannot remember a single time he ever admitted he was wrong, including the time we got into an argument while we were in the car and he hit my arm repeatedly, leaving a bruise that took weeks to heal. He blamed that on me, too.

I think that, for him, he can't be equals with someone. In his mind, everyone is on a ladder and he has to be one rung above you. It's like when you walk a dog and the dog always has to be in front.
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Old 04-12-2012, 09:06 AM   #12 (permalink)
 
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My sister does that it gets me so mad. She is 17 and whenever she is wrong she ALWAYS says that I misunderstood her or that I didn't explain well enough or blames someone else.
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Old 04-12-2012, 09:21 AM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Arrogance and pride are *****es. Do you still carry your pride with you to the grave?
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Old 04-12-2012, 10:50 AM   #14 (permalink)
 
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Pride could be very disruptive to logical and rational thinking. It could put a serious damper on what's realistically true in the grand scheme of things. I think part of the reason why someone might prefer to abide by their own sense of perspective is to feel a sense of independence. If they are caught reaching out to another person or if they find themselves falling into submission, they will feel like they've lost that feeling of independence.

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Originally Posted by Reclus View Post
Some people just never will admit they are wrong - it's just the way they are. Unfortunately, such people often have very successful careers in fields like politics, the military, and senior management, and end up making life Hell for the rest of us.
I respectfully disagree with this.

Somehow, I doubt anybody would be highly accomplished in their fields if they haven't already spent a portion of their lives learning on how to become that way.
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Old 04-12-2012, 10:50 AM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Insanityonthego View Post
Arrogance and pride are *****es. Do you still carry your pride with you to the grave?
If you can't be proud of having a mind of your own, you might as well be a tomato.
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Old 04-12-2012, 10:55 AM   #16 (permalink)
 
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Sometimes people are wrong. That's life. No one can be right all the time. People once believed the Earth was flat, until that was proven to be false. Those people could try to deny it all they want, but that doesn't make them any less wrong. Continuing to argue their belief that the Earth is flat doesn't make them seem "confident" or like "independent thinkers". It just makes them seem foolish.
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Old 04-12-2012, 01:34 PM   #17 (permalink)
 
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I know people who are like this. They refuse to admit that they are wrong even when all the evidence is laid out in front of them to prove that they are definitely wrong. And whats even worse is that these people are unintelligent and also unsuccessful in life and yet still always think they are right about everything. Incredibly annoying people.
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Old 04-12-2012, 02:32 PM   #18 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by au Lait View Post
Sometimes people are wrong. That's life. No one can be right all the time. People once believed the Earth was flat, until that was proven to be false. Those people could try to deny it all they want, but that doesn't make them any less wrong. Continuing to argue their belief that the Earth is flat doesn't make them seem "confident" or like "independent thinkers". It just makes them seem foolish.
But the point is that it doesn't matter what shape the earth is in my view. I don't care. If I want to believe it's square, that's my business. And you're wrong for making it your business.
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Old 04-12-2012, 02:41 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PickleNose View Post
But the point is that it doesn't matter what shape the earth is in my view. I don't care. If I want to believe it's square, that's my business. And you're wrong for making it your business.
So you're never wrong, but others are wrong for pointing out when you believe something that is actually untrue? That's not hypocritical at all...

Some things are a matter of opinion and personal belief. But some things are facts. If you want to deny a fact is true, then people will argue with you. You can believe whatever you want, but that still doesn't make it fact. If you don't like that, then don't get into discussions with other people that involve thoughts that you can't handle being challenged. You put your opinions up for scrutiny when you share them with people. If you really didn't want your viewpoint to be "other people's business", then you'd never bother voicing your views to begin with. Others have just as much right to discuss why they think a certain view is wrong as you do to believe that particular view. You say you don't care, but it seems like it bothers you when people do that. So maybe you do care a little?
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Old 04-12-2012, 02:52 PM   #20 (permalink)
 
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Why can't people admit they're wrong?

They are Stupidzzz
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