Social Anxiety Support

telefy · 11-03-2009, 02:16 PM

Like, is it me? Am I doing something that leads to the behavior? Is it that I feel comfortable talking to only these ppl? Does anyone know what i'm talking about out, or am I the only one this happens to?

(by passive aggresive I mean, doesn't communicate that they're having a problem that they're having with words, but instead communicates it by doing annoying things.)

drealm · 11-03-2009, 02:18 PM

Because they are chicken **** cowards who don't know how to give and take in a friendship?

hushhush · 11-03-2009, 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by telefy

Like, is it me? Am I doing something that leads to the behavior? Is it that I feel comfortable talking to only these ppl? Does anyone know what i'm talking about out, or am I the only one this happens to?

(by passive aggresive I mean, doesn't communicate that they're having a problem that they're having with words, but instead communicates it by doing annoying things.)

I don't know, but I have a lot of friends like that too. They're not all like that - er...maybe they are but I don't realize they're mad because they hide it like a passive aggressive is so capable of.

But then again, i feel this is SO common. i think everybody does it every once in a while, even subconciously. Sometimes I noticed people will tell me of something they did after they were mad at someone and they justified their behavior, insisting it was not passive aggression. But anybody could tell that it was indeed!

Breakfast0fChampions · 11-03-2009, 07:40 PM

I think it's low self-esteem attracting low self-esteem. Seriously.

Or at least it has been in my case.

My ex boyfriend's family are all passive aggressive - they'd sooner talk behind your back or do something childishly mean to you than confront you and ask for their needs to be met. It's because they hate themselves, they have to put on a facade, and they can't handle the idea of their self-image being tarnished by someone thinking they have needs and are vulnerable people susceptible to feelings. It's pretty sad, actually. And by being passive aggressive they just make themselves into something 10x's more annoying than they originally could have been by just asking for what they want/need from you or expressing their true opinion.

So, yeah... after assessing myself and seeing what state I was really in I concluded that I was attracting these self-loathing people because I myself am self-loathing. You may not be passive aggressive yourself, but I think the common root is probably there and needs to be addressed so you can free yourself of people with passive aggressive behaviors. And of course it helps that you can recognize passive aggressive behavior and that you're annoyed by it - so in the future you can weed out the passive aggressive people in your life from those that are healthy.

AshCash · 11-03-2009, 07:52 PM

I used to be really about that,I would hang out with Passive aggressive people so I would feel more "powerful" because I'm really afraid to talk to people who have a really loud personality.I never thought about it in a "self loathing" sort of way but that couldd be true for me to.

Cillian9 · 11-04-2009, 04:25 PM

My friends probably count as that (although I think I am too). I think it's a matter of not being able to handle conflict very well, so it comes out in other ways (i.e. being passive aggressive).

11-03-2009, 02:16 PM	#1 (permalink)
telefy Status: A safe distance Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Minnesota Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 29	why are the people I hang out with always passive agressive? Like, is it me? Am I doing something that leads to the behavior? Is it that I feel comfortable talking to only these ppl? Does anyone know what i'm talking about out, or am I the only one this happens to? (by passive aggresive I mean, doesn't communicate that they're having a problem that they're having with words, but instead communicates it by doing annoying things.)

11-03-2009, 07:40 PM	#4 (permalink)
Breakfast0fChampions Status: Resist. Unlearn. Defy. Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: In My Tree Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 676	I think it's low self-esteem attracting low self-esteem. Seriously. Or at least it has been in my case. My ex boyfriend's family are all passive aggressive - they'd sooner talk behind your back or do something childishly mean to you than confront you and ask for their needs to be met. It's because they hate themselves, they have to put on a facade, and they can't handle the idea of their self-image being tarnished by someone thinking they have needs and are vulnerable people susceptible to feelings. It's pretty sad, actually. And by being passive aggressive they just make themselves into something 10x's more annoying than they originally could have been by just asking for what they want/need from you or expressing their true opinion. So, yeah... after assessing myself and seeing what state I was really in I concluded that I was attracting these self-loathing people because I myself am self-loathing. You may not be passive aggressive yourself, but I think the common root is probably there and needs to be addressed so you can free yourself of people with passive aggressive behaviors. And of course it helps that you can recognize passive aggressive behavior and that you're annoyed by it - so in the future you can weed out the passive aggressive people in your life from those that are healthy. __________________ I'mma do the things that I wanna do I ain't got a thing to prove to you - Weezer, Pork and Beans Had my eyes peeled both wide open, and I got a glimpse Of my innocence... got back my inner sense... Baby got it, still got it - Pearl Jam, In My Tree 29-Day Giving Challenge Facebook - SuperBetter! A multi-player way to beat SA - Writerly

11-03-2009, 02:18 PM	#2 (permalink)
drealm Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: California Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 295	Because they are chicken **** cowards who don't know how to give and take in a friendship?

11-03-2009, 07:52 PM	#5 (permalink)
AshCash Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Gender: Female Posts: 57	I used to be really about that,I would hang out with Passive aggressive people so I would feel more "powerful" because I'm really afraid to talk to people who have a really loud personality.I never thought about it in a "self loathing" sort of way but that couldd be true for me to.

11-04-2009, 04:25 PM	#6 (permalink)
Cillian9 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Detroit Gender: Male Posts: 45	My friends probably count as that (although I think I am too). I think it's a matter of not being able to handle conflict very well, so it comes out in other ways (i.e. being passive aggressive).