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Old 02-14-2010, 08:02 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Angry Why are people so cruel?

it's something i don't understand. i've wittnessed unbelievable, disgusting cruelty. i know that i have been nasty every now and then myself, despite my social anxiousness (actually, i think it's the frustration and the anger i have about my nervous tendencies). but anyways, how can we be so horrible? i just don't buy that "we're only human" bull as an excuse. and why are people allowed to get away with atrocities, just because they are well-liked? shouldn't that behavior make them unlikeable?

it's almost as if social status is everything >:/
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Old 02-14-2010, 08:08 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Because its uplifting to bring down other people. Its that simple.
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Old 02-14-2010, 08:10 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Because a majority of people are mean and they need to be slapped on their faces.
But this is life and it's up to us to make the best of it. Be a breath of fresh sunshine. If no one else around is. You never know what the person beside you is going through so it's up to you to be friendly and show that not all of the world is cruel. :]
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Old 02-14-2010, 08:13 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Society finds certain behavior acceptable nowadays. Plus the media with the rampant narcissism and lack of empathy influences people behavior.
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Old 02-14-2010, 08:26 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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I don't know if it's always "cruel", but I never have understood why people go after me because I'm quiet, and stay to myself. I mean there's a difference between making a comment here & there, "jeeez you sure are quiet" and making someone a target, inside joke, or taking jabs at someone over & over every day. I had a neighbor that used to do that, before they moved, this woman would go out of her way to spread rumors about me, give me dirty looks, say hurtful, hateful things within earshot of me. And I never knew her. I never even had the chance to rub her the wrong way, or give a reason to make her hate me. I'll never understand why some people are like that. I wonder sometimes what she used to say about me...
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Old 02-14-2010, 08:38 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Social status sucks. If people are more popular then average they will get away with pushing the boundaries further. people are just trying to look after themselves and make themselves happy. If someone else gets hurt in the process then so be it. Pretty sad world we live in. If only everyone had a heart
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Old 02-14-2010, 09:48 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SickPuppy View Post
I don't know if it's always "cruel", but I never have understood why people go after me because I'm quiet, and stay to myself. I mean there's a difference between making a comment here & there, "jeeez you sure are quiet" and making someone a target, inside joke, or taking jabs at someone over & over every day. I had a neighbor that used to do that, before they moved, this woman would go out of her way to spread rumors about me, give me dirty looks, say hurtful, hateful things within earshot of me. And I never knew her. I never even had the chance to rub her the wrong way, or give a reason to make her hate me. I'll never understand why some people are like that. I wonder sometimes what she used to say about me...
huh...i've gotten that too...no rumors, but ive had people whispering about me, looking straight at me and making it obvious. i've gotten the dirty looks too, from one or two people at school and even a teacher. but i'm pretty sure i've never spoken a word to any of them. i've even had things thrown at me, for no apparent reason.

i don't mean to sound like Dr.Phil or anything and forgive me if i'm giving unwanted advice, lol but maybe don't even bother wasting any thought on that. it's in the past and the woman is gone, right?
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Old 02-14-2010, 10:40 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Yeah, true. I need to remind myself of that...it's not worth the effort to even think about it. It just really bugs me why some people are like that, partly because I just don't get it. She's not the only one, also. Some of the parents of my kids friends & classmates seem that way. I really don't think it's human nature. When I'm in a bad, bad place I just go away, I get more introverted. Maybe some people just take it out on other people who are easy targets. I don't know. Maybe it's my body language that turns people off, maybe it's my SA (I am way beyond quiet and introverted). Or ***** maybe I'm just too thin-skinned.
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Old 02-14-2010, 10:44 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SickPuppy View Post
I don't know if it's always "cruel", but I never have understood why people go after me because I'm quiet, and stay to myself. I mean there's a difference between making a comment here & there, "jeeez you sure are quiet" and making someone a target, inside joke, or taking jabs at someone over & over every day. I had a neighbor that used to do that, before they moved, this woman would go out of her way to spread rumors about me, give me dirty looks, say hurtful, hateful things within earshot of me. And I never knew her. I never even had the chance to rub her the wrong way, or give a reason to make her hate me. I'll never understand why some people are like that. I wonder sometimes what she used to say about me...
OMG!! Did she immigrate to Australia because I've got one like that across from me? Funny thing is, after all is said and done, I've figured out she's strange, lol. It's a sickness. If someone gets a kick out of spreading rumours, being spiteful day in, day out and the rest....well they MUST be twisted!

Quote:
Originally Posted by AkwardNisa View Post

i don't mean to sound like Dr.Phil or anything and forgive me if i'm giving unwanted advice, lol but maybe don't even bother wasting any thought on that. it's in the past and the woman is gone, right?
Unfortunately, I'm still living in my situation, but you're right. Best to move on and ignore the *****!
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Old 02-14-2010, 11:00 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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I think maybe you're right. I always called them "the perfect neighbors". Everything about their house, their cars, their lawn, you name it, it was absolutely perfect. Like almost creepy perfect if you kwim. No one is that perfect. She must've had issues. She got too much of a kick out of being spiteful also, as you said.
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Spend every moment like it's your last. Hug her, kiss her, hold her, like it's the last time that you ever will. Because it might be.
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Old 02-15-2010, 01:28 AM   #11 (permalink)
 
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People are jerks sometimes.
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Old 02-15-2010, 01:43 AM   #12 (permalink)
 
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I've been asking myself this question for years on a daily basis.

Humans are a mystery.
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Old 02-15-2010, 02:57 AM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Someone was cruel to them once, or they grew up with people being cruel to each other and that's how they learned to act themselves.
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Old 02-15-2010, 11:58 AM   #14 (permalink)
 
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yeah, that must be the case some of the time. i know this is selfish but i kinda wish that wasn't always an excuse.
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Old 02-15-2010, 12:02 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by looktothelight View Post
Because a majority of people are mean and they need to be slapped on their faces.
But this is life and it's up to us to make the best of it. Be a breath of fresh sunshine. If no one else around is. You never know what the person beside you is going through so it's up to you to be friendly and show that not all of the world is cruel. :]
lol. yea, that's true. i do need to work on my mood and being nice lol but sometimes it feels kind of like that's not enough or something
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Old 02-15-2010, 12:22 PM   #16 (permalink)
 
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In my experience, asking why people are so cruel is like asking why a bear hunts for fish. It's how the human race as a whole is. I know you don't like that answer but sometimes things are the way they are whether we like accept it or not. It's kind of like a natural disaster, there is nothing good about it but we can't do anything to stop it so it's best to understand it. It's all the more reason you should feel good about yourself for trying to be compassionate and kind. If everyone was like this, these virtues would not be virtues. The fact that you can choose to be that way or not is what makes them virtues and makes caring, loving people valuable. People will always be mean and take advantage of others... you can never stop it. But take from my experience, focus on the good side of people and feel proud of yourself for being one of the "good ones". You question can literally bug you for years and it takes away from your own life. Hope this helps.
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Old 02-15-2010, 02:31 PM   #17 (permalink)
 
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I don't really know. It's kind of like asking why people have different personalities. It's like the brain box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get. Some of it is also influenced by the environment. Group mentalities, abusive family lives, etc..
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Old 02-15-2010, 08:26 PM   #18 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by D11 View Post
OMG!! Did she immigrate to Australia because I've got one like that across from me? Funny thing is, after all is said and done, I've figured out she's strange, lol. It's a sickness. If someone gets a kick out of spreading rumours, being spiteful day in, day out and the rest....well they MUST be twisted!


LOL, she may have moved to Australia, D11.

I found this picture of her (my old neighbor). If this is her...lookout...




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I know someday you'll have a beautiful life,
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But why, why, why can't it be mine? ~Pearl Jam

Spend every moment like it's your last. Hug her, kiss her, hold her, like it's the last time that you ever will. Because it might be.
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Old 02-15-2010, 09:05 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AkwardNisa View Post
yeah, that must be the case some of the time. i know this is selfish but i kinda wish that wasn't always an excuse.
Even if they do have an excuse, it's no excuse; only an explanation. There have always been people in every society, no matter how cruel it was, that have risen above the values of their time, their people, their environment, and just, for lack of a better phrase, "got it". For instance, growing up in a slave-owning society like the U.S., pre-civil war, and being raised by pro-slavery parents is not an excuse to continue to perpetuate that same cruel system on into adulthood. Their background will shed a light of explanation on that person's life, but ultimately, once you reach a certain age and maturity, you have the power to look at the world and change your mind, and you are then responsible for the values you hold and propagate. There have always been people in every time and every place who were able to grasp the importance of equality and human rights, even when the odds were stacked so stubbornly against them. Thus, while I do think it's important to take into account any possible explanations for a person's actions before holding them under scrutiny, there are no true excuses for some things.

I'm aware that I've likely rambled entirely off topic. Excusez-moi!
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Old 02-16-2010, 07:22 PM   #20 (permalink)
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We live in a cold, cruel universe. That's all there is to it.
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