When people mistake your shyness for arrogance - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-20-2011, 08:04 PM Thread Starter
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Post When people mistake your shyness for arrogance

As if being shy is not bad enough but people think you are arrogant because of it. How can some people be such a poor judge of personalities? So you experience all the downsides of being shy and on top of that get treated like you are being a snob. Being shy is the worse thing that could happen to someone. It is being emotionally handicapped.
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post #2 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-20-2011, 09:14 PM
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My mom would tell me this when I was in high school, as if being quiet equated to being a snob in other people's eyes.
What is the matter with people?

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post #3 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-20-2011, 10:15 PM
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This happened to me in highschool. Some girls thought I was really stuck up, but I was honestly just shy and intimidated. But eventually we all became friends and then they told me how wrong their first impression of me was. But it kind of freaked me out, cause I wondered how many people who don't get the opportunity to actually get to know me think I'm this stuck up person.


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post #4 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-20-2011, 10:21 PM
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Happens all the time. I think good looking shy people are misjudged as arrogant more than ugly ones. With the ugly ones, they just figure nobody wants to talk to them anyway.

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post #5 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-20-2011, 10:29 PM
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being shy is not a crime and i think shyness is something that is now part of our lives .i also think that at first people mistake our shyness for arrogance,but once they get to know us then they wud understand that we like to keep to ourselves and we take time to get comfortable with someone and they will like u for what u are but then there r some who dont think like that they feel that think we r proud or selfish .this kind of people dont understand others feelings just stay away from them.

simplicity is the ultimate form of sophestication..be simple
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post #6 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-20-2011, 10:30 PM
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my mom used to do when i was younger..she never understood what the problem was

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post #7 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-21-2011, 02:27 AM
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Yep, this is the story of my life... mainly with women. They'll flirt, I'll fail to respond, then it is assumed that I think I'm too good for them... the gossip/bullying begins.
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post #8 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-21-2011, 02:40 AM
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Originally Posted by dkriot View Post
Being shy is the worse thing that could happen to someone.
Can't say I agree with that. Being burned or buried alive seems much worse. Having cancer would definitely be more painful. Living in a third world country with no food would suck too.

People always misread my personality. I guess it's because introverted types don't talk much, so people have a harder time getting a feel for their personalities. People who are insecure tend to project their insecurities onto things that they don't quite understand or have very much information on, from my observations. If someone assumes that you're looking down on them, and then gets offended over their own assumptions, that says more about them than it does about you, I think.
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post #9 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-21-2011, 03:48 AM
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As if being shy is not bad enough but people think you are arrogant because of it. How can some people be such a poor judge of personalities? So you experience all the downsides of being shy and on top of that get treated like you are being a snob. Being shy is the worse thing that could happen to someone. It is being emotionally handicapped.
Ughhh.. can totally relate!!! I get told all the time that I'm intimidating and people think I'm snobby! wtf
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post #10 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-21-2011, 04:07 AM
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My brother did this to me couple of years ago. He has even called me anti-social just because I didn't want to play the wii with this little boy.
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post #11 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-21-2011, 05:35 AM
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I recently got told by someone that I have a God complex! I suppose it's because my awkwardness gets mistaken as arrogance. Or maybe it's my omniscience.

It's upsetting and ironic that people think I'm nasty/arrogant, when really I'm scared of the people judging me and I certainly don't think I'm better than them.
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post #12 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-21-2011, 05:44 AM
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I'm pretty sure that a couple of people kinda assume that I'm a snob. But actually - I think people are thinking that "now" rather than when I was in HS. When I was in HS, I think everyone knew that I was just painfully shy. & They all would make comments about it, just to make worse for me.

But now - I don't get red in the face, I don't have a fear to speak or anything like that. I'm still very anxious inside but it doesn't show. So I fail to speak up or talk to anyone, I appear very snobbish.

But honestly - I seem to be in the minority here - but I'd rather be thought of as a snob & confident, than a shy person who is handicapped in the relationship department.


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post #13 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-21-2011, 07:06 AM
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I know what you mean!!
I am so sick of having people tell me everyday if the reason why I'm quit is because I think I'm better than them or is it because I'm either snobby or stuck up.
Then most of these people end up no liking me because they think I'm full of it when in reality I'm not..
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post #14 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-21-2011, 08:22 AM
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As if being shy is not bad enough but people think you are arrogant because of it. How can some people be such a poor judge of personalities? So you experience all the downsides of being shy and on top of that get treated like you are being a snob. Being shy is the worse thing that could happen to someone. It is being emotionally handicapped.
Yeah, it happens to me in almost every social situation. I'm very shy and I don't smile much. Some days, I can open up more. People are always judging me, saying I think I'm better, conceited or stuck up. Some people say I look sad or mad. It's really frustrating when people don't take the time to get to know someone and make unfair judgments.
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post #15 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-21-2011, 08:24 AM
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I know what you mean!!
I am so sick of having people tell me everyday if the reason why I'm quit is because I think I'm better than them or is it because I'm either snobby or stuck up.
Then most of these people end up no liking me because they think I'm full of it when in reality I'm not..
Exactly.
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post #16 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-25-2011, 09:51 AM
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Exactly.
... and that is why not too many people like me
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post #17 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-09-2013, 08:39 PM
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post #18 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-09-2013, 09:09 PM
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This happened to me throughout High School as I'm quite shy around people I don't know really well. I often think that perhaps if I put less effort into my physical appearance, I might look more approachable and others would then view me as shy and not a snob. I always strive to be a nice person but I'm just shy, and not comfortable in social situations. I was always crushed when someone thought I was a snob.
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post #19 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-09-2013, 09:12 PM
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yeah, this has happened. most of the time in the past, people were just curious and drawn to me more (which i ****ing HATED xD). "Why are you so quiet?"
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post #20 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-09-2013, 09:22 PM
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This happens to me I hate it. People think I'm just unfriendly or being rude and really I'm not trying to be, in fact it's the last thing I'd want to be intentionally doing if I could help it.
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