A ton of things are bothering me right now. So it's going to be long.
The fact that my mom gets tired of hearing me complain about how this anxiety doesn't seem to be going away. I even tell her, I've been looking for ways to overcome it and it's like she doesn't want to hear what I say about it anymore.
Almost everyone in my family are extremely religious, and every time I tell them about my problems they only say "pray". I've been doing it but it doesn't seem to help. No one in my whole entire family understands what SA is. They think I'm shy, and just going through a phase.
I wish I stayed in college no matter how bad I was suffering there. I did the coward thing by dropping out and now it's constantly on my mind about what I should have done.
Just not being able to see how my future's going to be is slowing killing me inside. I want to know if things are going to be much brighter for me. It's hard because everyone around me is moving on with their lives and they seem so much happier than me. Especially everyone in my family. I hear that many of them went to college, graduated and going to be getting great jobs. I'm here never had a single job, couldn't make it through college, and the only social thing I do is travel with parents when we get the chance.
I feel so hopeless, and even though I see that others may have it much worse I start feeling down all over again. I want to be able to move on with my life, be happy, be positive and not worry about what others think of me.
I wish I forced myself in the past to be involved with people more. I often blame myself for not challenging myself more. I know it's not too late to do that, but whenever I am out and about I get so insecure and paranoid that I just can't bring myself to even get applications to apply for a job.