What caused this?

[whataaaaaa]

This is my first post on these forums. After reading through pages of posts I have one simple question. What do you think caused your SA? What in the world made you become scared of talking to people? Where and when did this all start? Certainly none of us were born with SA. So what has caused you to become so separated from society?

Well for me it was video games. Pathetic i know, but from age 12 to 19 (where i am now) i have pretty much spent my entire life playing video games, whether play station, xbox, ps2, or pc games. The only reason i went outside was for school, or if my so called friends dragged me out of the house(not literally). Spending my adolescent years playing these stupid games stopped me from developing any social skills whatsoever. Now in most social situations i have no idea what to do or say. This past summer i think i went outside less then 10 times...spending my days gaming away and contemplating suicide. But enough about me, what caused your SA?

[glarmph]

the terrible world caused it. video games help me forget.

[Dempsey]

I think birth caused it. Something must have happened there.

[caseyff7]

I love video games and sorry if that what caused your sa. my (i'm pretty sure) is cause of stupid bullys always putting down k-3rd grade I never made a sound. then I moved 4th grade I had no idea what to even say. if still effects me alot today. But then I perfectly find out of school. don't ask me

[Ohio Fatso]

I think living out in the country had a lot to do with it. After school, the other kids probably ran with each other and everything. For me and my siblings, we had no neighbors or close friends. We just went straight home out in the woods where we lived.

When you grow up isolated from the rest of society and then have to get back out in society to go to school and eventually to work, you're not going to fit in very well.

My old man taught us our ways. I am the only one who listened. Those ways are probably outdated, they're certainly not cool or popular, but I'm proud of them anyway and will stick with them until the day I die. Those ways include working for your keep, stretching the dollar as far as you can, listening to old country music, and watching the Andy Griffith Show.

[quietriverrunsdeep]

I honestly don't know what caused it but if I had to guess I would say genetics and the fact that I had a sheltered life. Both of my parents have depression and my mom had social anxiety disorder so I got both, thanks mom and dad. My school was small so I wasn't exposed to a lot of kids and everyone in my class was smart so I always felt unsure of myself and inferior. This fostered early feelings of negativity and perfectionism. I remember as early as kindergarten when we were learning to write letters and it the letter went ever so slightly off the line, I would erase it and start over. I obsessed over it so much that my teacher made me stay inside and finish writing them while the others played outside. Most of my childhood was spent indoors reading or playing video games and I still do. I was into pretending and getting lost in other worlds by myself rather than interacting with other children. I did have childhood friends and ironically they were all loud and obnoxious but that never caught on to me so maybe it's not environmentally based, just genetics.

[kakashisensei]

When it comes to SA with family, It was my aunty, whose a couple years older than me.
We grew up together like sisters, but she humiliated me in front of other family members -- for YEARS! I think the humiliation just reached a point where I just stopped interacting with my family altogether and the ironic thing is, is that she tends to ask why im so anti-social when it comes to family get-togethers these days. But i dont think i could ever tell her the real reason...she'd probably tell me to "...harden the f*ck up". Sigh...pathetic.

[sadfox]

i would have stayed in anyway so computer games have been my friend since childhood loading cassetes on the commodore 64 then the megadrive which you didnt need to load and great graphics and games like goldenaxe columns sonic fifa etc and i was lost in another world for hours thus followed playstation then the brilliant n64 with 3d graphics and xbox ps2 and now the 360 give me those fantasy worlds of computer games anyday over the harsh realitys of life and other people all my memories are on a screen

[JMX]

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I think I've come up with a very good explanation. I remember growing up, especially around my teen years, and having my parents ruin my confidence that I've been unconsciously trying to build up. I told my parents that I want to become a simultaneous interpreter and they both say I'm incapable of doing that, even though they raised me bilingually. My dad told my mom behind my back that if I were to go to college, I would drop out. My mom told me I'm unattractive when I decided to not wear my contact lenses for a few days, and wore glasses. I think for social situations (and for almost every aspect in life), confidence is a necessary attribute to succeed. With my self-esteem destroyed during my teen years, I haven't had the courage to talk to girls, and I had no confidence in my academics (which has resulted in horrendous grades). There are probably a lot of other areas of life where I've had no confidence in but I forgot to mention. Bottom line is, my parents have "injected" me with this negativity while I was growing up, and now I'm suffering the effects.

[odd_one_out]

Autism.

[mind_games]

Originally Posted by Dempsey

I think birth caused it. Something must have happened there.

My suspicions point here too.

[Setolac]

Originally Posted by whataaaaaa

This is my first post on these forums. After reading through pages of posts I have one simple question. What do you think caused your SA? What in the world made you become scared of talking to people? Where and when did this all start? Certainly none of us were born with SA. So what has caused you to become so separated from society?

Well for me it was video games. Pathetic i know, but from age 12 to 19 (where i am now) i have pretty much spent my entire life playing video games, whether play station, xbox, ps2, or pc games. The only reason i went outside was for school, or if my so called friends dragged me out of the house(not literally). Spending my adolescent years playing these stupid games stopped me from developing any social skills whatsoever. Now in most social situations i have no idea what to do or say. This past summer i think i went outside less then 10 times...spending my days gaming away and contemplating suicide. But enough about me, what caused your SA?

Every single word you said in this post fits me PERFECTLY. You are like an exact carbon copy of me. I blame video games for most of my SA and poor social skills.

[rincewind]

I've always been pretty sure what caused my problems - a couple of years of verbal bullying at school when I was 12-13. It left me not wanting to talk to anyone or draw any attention to myself, and I never really started to change that attitude until earlier this year.

[LStambaugh85]

My parents both suffer. My dad HATES any kind of unwanted attention and my mom is constantly worried about what people think of her. So pretty much I was doomed from birth.

[rubyruby]

Because other people in my family have it I would say genetics. I really don't remember not worrying about my shyness even when I was small. I would also say a dysfunctional home life - not many people came to my home to visit. Also I had a best friend who was very shy when I was in grade school and I would intentionally copy her behaviour.

[RedStarCharlie]

I think I would always have been shy to a degree, seems like a genetic thing as my mum (when she was young) and grandmother were quiet. But what caused my social anxiety was a disruptive family life, a few other incidents, and then being put on medication which made me tired all the time so I withdrew completely from life and now am left with major social anxiety.

[Rixy]

My parents are both very anxious people. My dad escapes this through alcohol. Watching them act like this all my life might have had a bad effect on me. 3 years of verbal bullying at school didn't help either. Now I've fallen into the assumption that no one likes me, and even if a few people do I don't think they see me as a regular person. :/

[JimiPePPeroni]

Videogames have always been my passion, it would make perfect sense to point the finger at them in regards of endangering my social skills & interactions, but I actually was very, very social growing up. It wasn't until I entered Jr. High and realized just how much criticism, in general, made you question your every move, and what label crowned you most popular amongst everybody else. Though I still made friends during this time, I started to get an unpleasant, uneasy feeling inside. Long story short, it wasn't until after I began to indulge in drugs (moreso cannabis) and alcohol when I started to notice myself becoming more and more isolated/detached from my friends, and ultimately the world, though I fought it the hardest I ever could, and still allowed myself to get out whenever the opportunity was given, though I was aware that some damage had been done. Fast forward to now... I work retail, and all I can say is it is by far the biggest challenge that has ever been faced in my entire life, as am I still searching for ways to grow stronger, socially.

[Toad Licker]

Hey whataaaaaa, welcome to

This question gets asked a lot on SAS, I don't know what caused my SA. I have a feeling it has something to do with genetics, upbringing and, for me, my party days.

[Paper Samurai]

I've always tended to go red easily - but that never really had that bad an effect, it probably made me a little shy but nothing to bad. Then at around 13, I developed the worse acne (& rosacea) that you would ever care to see. Horribly disfiguring and painful to boot - I became a 'leper' overnight It's very hard to have any self-esteem when everyone - including strangers are telling you how repulsive you are.
Although my skin now is nearly 100% clear, I haven't recovered mentally from the experience. I attribute the fact that I'm so image-conscious nowadays to this period in my life.

Ah, well I'm determined though to try and put it behind me. And one of these days I will succeed.