What are your parents like?

[polythene]

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[its_Rob]

I'm sorry to hear how your mother treats you like that. I used to have a step father who was kind of like that. I know you're trying to ignore your mother but that's pretty much the only thing you can do. Just let it go and try to move on. Dont try to hold on to any feelings of hanger, hate, sadness, or anything else because it will eat at you and make you feel worse. In a way you have to forgive her of what she has done. It sounds crazy but it will make you feel better.

[illlaymedown]

My mom has always shown she cares very little for me. I keep giving her a chance and hoping she will, but it seems hopeless While we were growing up she cheated on my dad with 4 dif guys and always put her interests above ours(I have a sister and brother who are younger than me and we all have dif dads)She started dating this guy when I was about 7 who molested my sister and tried to a few times with me and I told beause I was/am a very stubborn individual and wasn't scared when he made threats to hurt my family(although he beat on my mom a lot and had hit us and put us down verbally)...I just knew telling would get him out of our lives for good, but it didn't...my mom stayed with him and eventually sent us back to my dad who is an alcoholic and acts like a 10 year old. He always has put me down sort of like what you say about your mom...He's said things like "no guy will ever want to marry you", "You're a b***h", made fun of me for being on my period before. Nowadays my mom doesn't help me do anything...she lies a lot and she is addicted to a drug. She uses all her money for that and for jewelry from pawn shops. She tells me my SA and misery is "not that bad", "all in your head". She yells a lot and I can't stand it and I often tell her how childish she is by being this way. I feel like I'm the adult and she's a kid. My dad is the same. I don't call him dad even. Still a drunk, still puts me down, still a bum, etc...In fact right now he is mooching off of us and my parents aren't together. He just "has nowhere else to go" as my mom puts it. My mom has a bf who is a jerk. He is extremely rude especially to us, but his rudeness is in more of a childish way rather than physical or such. He just does stuff that is annoying. So, I really don't look at it like I have parents tbh. It's a miserable feeling. Sometimes I feel trapped and hopeless, but I know I'm better than them and this situation and they are missing out on the amazing person I am...I just wish with everything I am that they could see it

[sssig]

Wow , everyone here has mother problems including me. Maybe some sort of connection?

My mom is just basically completly two faced and angers way too easily. The only time she "likes" me is when she wants me to come over so she can introduce me to her friends. So she can let them know that she has kids too.

[Ing]

Wow, i'm sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time; I really hope it gets better for you.

My parents used to be very critical and were overprotective to the point where I couldn't even go out with a friend; I have no friends now. My father is very insecure and often says that I wouldn't be able to live without him, but he also says that he knows everything, so I guess I just don't take him too seriously sometimes. Right now, my parents have gotten a lot more chill and I actually like spending time with them in small amounts. They will still throw in unnecessary insults from time to time, but not nearly as much, and they usually aren't as hurtful either. So I guess time is what fixed my problem.

[Haydsmom2007]

My mom is lazy, self centered, unappreciative, thinks she deserves the life that my dad got her (he works like 70 hour weeks and she doesn't do anything except go shopping) she's not even a good "housewife". She rarely makes my dad dinner or buys many groceries. She blackmails me, tries to control what I do, constantly tries to belittle me and make me feel like I'm a bad mom. She undermines my authority as a parent. I could go on and on. On the pro side of things, she babysits for me and helps me with my son a lot.

My dad is extremely successful, makes a lot of money, has gotten very far in his career (he's one of the top people at the place he works, a really big corporation) he's very personable and friendly, everyone always likes him, he's very important at his church, he teaches classes and is very involved and everyone there likes him as well. CONS he created my mom. He spoiled her, gave her everything in life and now he has to deal with her treating him like crap. He spoiled me and my sister, he spoiled my mom, and now he's spoiling my son. He can be a big pushover! He doesn't stand up for himself to my mom! I wish he would put her in her place.


---I guess there is a pattern. We all have mom problems.

[its_Rob]

Wow a lot of people here do have mom problems. The only problem I had with mine was when she divorced my dad and married an ******* that she stayed with for 10 years that treated me like crap. I dont hate her and I wish could stay with her but I'm going to Texas tomorrow

[jonny87]

I have father problems. When i was a child i would watch him beat the **** out of my mother and often he'd do the same to me. I went through life hating him and hating myself. Now as i think back i realize it was because he always put me down when i was being myself that i have SAD.
My mother is weak she just takes his abuse. She has been depressed most of her life because of that *******. She is also overprotective of me and going out with friends was difficult as i had to get my parents to approve which usually resulted in a fight.

I can see the commonality in our family situations. Perhaps we are all desperate for the love we never got from the people who are supposed to love us unconditionally. Who knows maybe they were treated the same as children and thus raised us like their own parents raised them.

[SAgirl]

My mom: Hardworking, Can communicate with depending on the topic, Supportive, kind, but high in neuroticism, packrat - keeps things since she worked so hard to get them

Dad: Like Bert from Sesame Street, he gets super angry sometimes. It's about miniscule things. Last night he yelled at me since I didn't hang up my coat, put one dish in the dishwasher, make my bed or do the laundry. After awhile yelling about all these things gets old. These things are not even all that important in the big scheme of things. Not to me anyway. My dad was a hardworker until he retired. He has always wanted the best for us which is contradictory since he is the person in the family that caused the most chaos in our lives. The ironic thing about my dad is that he doesn't like it when other people yell, but he still continues to yell at us.

[fd000]

My mom's been to overprotective and treating me like a child, she's always spoken for me also. She's even always took off work so she could go to the doctor with me when I got sick, up until a year ago until I finally told her to stop and let me go on my own. And she's always trying to make me go food shopping with her or other tasks. I guess she just doesn't want to let me go, while at the same time telling me how I have no life and staying home all day.

My dad however is the opposite, he's basically the "man of the house" type. I don't know why, but we just don't talk much, just seems like we can't communicate.

[illlaymedown]

Originally Posted by jonny87

I can see the commonality in our family situations. Perhaps we are all desperate for the love we never got from the people who are supposed to love us unconditionally. Who knows maybe they were treated the same as children and thus raised us like their own parents raised them.

The really sad thing is I want my own family more than almost anything, mainly a husband, and I know I'd be 100 times better than they were but I don't even have a chance My family holds me back and I feel like every day and every second I sit alone in my room every good part of my desire and life is waisting away. I've told my mom that I had suicidal thoughts and she just shruged it off. She's watched me cry to the point of not being able to move and says she'll help then it goes back to the same things and nothing changes. I feel like I have nobody who finds value in me I find it hard to find value in myself...I try, but the more they do stupid things the harder it gets. *sigh* It really sucks. I often wonder if my dad was right when he said nobody would ever want me I wish there were more opportunities here or that I had at least one person who would stick by me and help...anyway, I don't mean to be "whiny" or negative cus I know I'm strong enough to face my SA, I just don't know how to get past them to do so. How did you guys who had rough childhoods get away from your parents? Did they help you?

[secretlyshecries]

Both my parents have their own mental health problems and yet they are pretty impatient with me. My dad has always acted like I don't have depression or anything like that because young people apparently aren't affected. He is a selfish, often moody person who will be your best friend only when he wants something from you. My mum was supportive of my problems for a few years but I think she tired of it and just wanted me to 'get over it.' She got sick of me being unemployed and I didn't really know what SA was back then so I couldn't tell her it was that, so she just passed it off as laziness (and my depression in the beginning, I guess). She is very moody thesedays too and though she is often very nice, she can come home in a very bad mood because apparently where she works is just the worst. Oh, and she's seperated from my dad so she complains about him pretty much all the time, though she did that for years when they were together.. I mean, it's pretty wrong but she used to talk to me when I was about seven or eight about my dad like I was an adult. For years she kept doing it, talking to me about very adult problems (and retelling the same old stories of "do you know what he did??" ovvverr and oooverrr ) and at the same time admitting she shouldn't be doing it but had no one else to talk to.

But anyway, yeah thesedays I feel pretty tense around her a lot of the time. She just has so many off-moods. Sometimes they're not even necessarily bad moods, but she'll just be really unenthusiastic about everything I say and reply with uninterested "mm"s which make me want to just get up and leave the room.

[hmf22]

My dad, when I was growing up, was very aggressive and controlling. My mom was very stand offish and didn't like to confront problems. So the two combined weren't the best mix, which I think contributed to my SA in a lot of ways. Growing up, they just thought I was the problem child. But now that they know I have SA and it's not my fault, it's easier to talk about things and be around them. I feel like I want to be around them a lot now because I have a whole childhood of not talking to them to make up for.

[rdrr]

consistently negative, demeaning, nosy and annoying. I don't live with them, and have been visiting them less and less.

[Prakas]

Mom: Complete opposite of me, very extrovertive. Depressed constantly about finances. Over-protective of me, she lets me know her opinion on everything immediately of wether or not she approves of something or not. I feel like I'm 5 sometimes. Now that I'm seeing a therapist, she thinks I'm talking behind her back and blames everything on the pills I take. If I feel sick one day, she tells me its the pills! Please.....

Dad: Deserter, wife beater, went overseas. Gave me a car before he skipped the country. Spoke to him about 3 times within the last 10 yrs.