Unable to show emotion - Social Anxiety Forum
Thread Tools
post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-16-2012, 02:58 AM Thread Starter
SAS Member
ohnos's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 5
Unable to show emotion

I have a hard time being able to show emotion. Things that make me happy, excited, sad, angry...I almost always end up keeping a straight face. What's worse is when the feelings are positive, like happiness or giddiness, is I sub-consciously mock and belittle myself for feeling that way, as if it's wrong or scary to have positive feelings. As if it's not "okay" or "cool" to feel that way. Isn't that completely and utterly stupid?

I think this happened because I was always teased as a child from my brother for doing something he considered silly and childish for me to do (which, obviously, I was a child, so). And the same thing happened in school too, because everyone always thought I was weird for being so quiet, and any difference from the norm would intimidate them, or something.

The only time I can properly show emotion is when something very serious happens to me, like my cat that died last year. She meant a lot to me, so it hurt to see her go.

It's scary to me that I can't emote, and I wouldn't doubt others would think it's strange and scary as well.
ohnos is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-16-2012, 03:37 AM
SAS Member
chair's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: a chair
Posts: 168
Flat affect?
chair is offline  
post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-16-2012, 07:00 AM
User Requested Permanent Ban
Join Date: Aug 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,954
Join the club. I get excited + happy when I see my BF, but NEVER show it. Ever. So it constantly makes him feel like I'm 2-faced or something because I show more emotion through my words online than how I am in real life.

I am like this with others as well. I kept a straight face at reunions...and hangouts with friends. People ALWAYS feel like there's something wrong with me, like I'm having a problem in my life that's occupying my head (which is true at times) when really...I am happy.

What also happens is that.. I'd begin to smile then suddenly stop and go right to my straight face -- because I'd think I just did something so wrong by smiling. A lot of times though, I just feel like I'm not allowed to have any emotions, which is a horrible state of mind to be in because then I easily become a doormat to folks...*sighs*

Plus, whenever I express my feelings about stuff to people, 99% don't exactly care *shrugs*

@chair: Must be the flat affect. Probably caused by depression for me -shrugs-
JenN2791 is offline  
post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-16-2012, 07:21 AM
Smallfry's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: England
Gender: Female
Age: 33
Posts: 1,511
I was having this same thought today, I have been told I have a poker face. I don't do it intentionally but it scares me to show people how I really feel for fear that they will laugh, belittle and challenge me so social anxiety is what has become of me
Smallfry is offline  
post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-16-2012, 07:55 AM
User Request Ban
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 53
I feel numb, dead inside. Then when I'm faced to force and deal with ppl, I let go and let it out. Even if i have to fake it, because I feel terrible if someone ever thought i didnt care...and before long, the real me comes out and i'm smiling for them. Its draining as heck, i cant wait to flee--but i did give all that i have and had at that moment. i hate it, but i smiled for "them."
Shianne is offline  
post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-16-2012, 09:56 AM
SAS Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Land of the Cold
Gender: Male
Posts: 438
Wow.. I"m having the exact same problem. To make matter worse, my voice is basically as flat as my face. So, no voice emotions, no face emotions -- it looks like I'm just always careless and weird.
DesperateOne is offline  
post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-16-2012, 10:02 AM
SAS Member
Boredom is my middle name's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Stop looking at my profile
Posts: 565
I don't really see a problem with not showing any emotions. I have learned not to show emotions as a measure of not expressing weakness. There are always people out there that pick up on everything. I do express happiness though when i see something funny as hell. I can't help it.

The more time we spend complaining about something, the less time we have to do something about it.
Boredom is my middle name is offline  
post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-16-2012, 12:26 PM
Chat Destroyer
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: A cornfield
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,884
I either show too little emotion or too much. I know that "lifeless" feeling where you don't have any emotion for anything. I hate it.
Loveless is offline  
post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 04-16-2012, 12:46 PM
SAS Member
Einsamen Wolf's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: he Deep
Gender: Male
Posts: 8
I have a major problem with emotions as well. I have been told by many people that I am rather cold and apathetic. It took me a while to notice for myself, but over time I have come to realize that it is true; I am unable to effectively show emotion.

I have seemingly permanent deadpan expression - that borders on a sort of scowl - on my face. Many people find it very misleading and it turns them away. I'm almost certain that it plays a huge part in my not being able to make friends or even look people in the eye. Because of this, I have become incredibly misunderstood, and a lot of people just don't "get" me.

My odd facial expression appears to have originated from when I was younger; I'd frown a lot and I looked down at the ground all the time. I guess you could say it got stuck that way.

The rare occasions where I have actually smiled were much like the OP's. I would feel like an idiot or a loser for having..."nearly enjoyed myself"...and done something positive. It feels as if my brain has an aversion to positive experiences. I'd always go into a depressive state during those times, and I'd spend my days and nights - without sleep - thinking about how "stupid" I must have looked in said situations.

My apathetic tendencies might be loosely connected to the autism spectrum, as I was evaluated for Aspergers at a young age, but there are many conflicting factors that almost rule it out as being a possible cause. What is more likely is that I have somehow subconsciously activated a sort of defense mechanism to help cope with my social anxiety and depression. Unfortunately, the true reason as to why I am unable to show emotion remains unknown.
Einsamen Wolf is offline  

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Unable to Project Emotion (Smile, Laugh) Soci Coping With Social Anxiety 5 08-24-2013 07:58 PM
how do you show emotion ruinMYlife Coping With Social Anxiety 18 02-22-2011 11:02 AM
Why am I unable to show emotion properly !? VIncymon Secondary Disorders 9 08-30-2010 08:02 PM
too scared to show emotion ruinMYlife Frustration 5 08-29-2010 05:32 PM
I don't know how to show emotion well, and come off as cold and stoic... Lonerfreak Frustration 3 06-23-2010 03:39 PM

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome