Social Anxiety Support

shadowguy · 11-05-2009, 08:53 AM

So I was getting into a debate through online comments (would never do irl) and I keep thinking I'm just embarrassing myself, nothing I write makes any sense, etc. Then I dwell on it for a while even though I'm anonymous and I'll never see this person.

leonardess · 11-05-2009, 09:01 AM

I do that too. I think a lot of people do.

shadowguy · 11-05-2009, 09:21 AM

Hmm...it might be a good way to practice not dwelling on past social situations now that I think about it.

mooncake · 11-05-2009, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadowguy

Hmm...it might be a good way to practice not dwelling on past social situations now that I think about it.

Absolutely!

I'm rubbish at having debates, both online and offline. A few weeks ago I was at my uni's debate society, blissfully unaware that on that night they would be making us 'speed debate' with a total stranger. It was awful, I had only gone because I like to listen, not to be made to speak.

rcapo89 · 11-05-2009, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadowguy

So I was getting into a debate through online comments (would never do irl) and I keep thinking I'm just embarrassing myself, nothing I write makes any sense, etc. Then I dwell on it for a while even though I'm anonymous and I'll never see this person.

Hey shadowguy I've read some of your posts and I think you come across very articulate.

I understand how you feel about becoming self conscious debating online.

its_a_rick · 11-05-2009, 10:37 AM

Yeah, debating sucks, I tend to stay away from it as much as possible. I'd rewrite my comments so many times and end up not even posting them.

I remember when I was in highschool and had to do two debating sessions in a group of like five people. I just couldn't get myself to utter a word, or even think of a word to say for that matter. Needless to say I failed but luckily it wasn't a huge percentage of the grade.

Banzai · 11-05-2009, 10:46 AM

I feel extremely initimidated having a debate with someone (I try to avoid it as much as possible) whose intelligence vastly outsmarts mine, both in real life and online - I become extremely conscious of what I say. I'm not great at it though.

When it comes to online debating, I sometimes analyse what people say to the point that I don't understand what the meaning of it is any more, even if it is relatively simple. As for real life debating, I often need a little time to come up with an effective comeback.

FakeFur · 11-05-2009, 12:08 PM

Whether online or in real life, I often keep my opinions to myself. I'm scared that if I get into a debate with someone, I won't be smart enough to sufficiently back up what I'm saying, and end up looking like an idiot. Sometimes I need a bit of time to come up with something good to say as well.

shadowmask · 11-05-2009, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FakeFur

Whether online or in real life, I often keep my opinions to myself. I'm scared that if I get into a debate with someone, I won't be smart enough to sufficiently back up what I'm saying, and end up looking like an idiot. Sometimes I need a bit of time to come up with something good to say as well.

Ditto.

pointy · 11-05-2009, 12:14 PM

One of the primary activities I'm involved in online is debating and I still get self conscious about it. Often I'll look at what I've written afterward and wonder if people will interpret it as a schizophrenic or pretentious mess.

nightrain · 11-05-2009, 03:02 PM

I have the same problem, so I just avoid it all together. Normally I know what to say, but I have trouble expressing myself in text

illlaymedown · 11-05-2009, 10:54 PM

Depends on what the debate is about :/ Don't like to debate about stupid things and sometimes I will say something and if people respond with ignorance or they are bent on keeping up with the same arguement even if it's silly, I just quit talking to them

Not everybody is going to agree on everything

I can understand why people can find it hard though especially with SA whispering sweet nothings in your mind

fd000 · 11-05-2009, 11:14 PM

I don't know if I should post this, but it reminded me of a funny picture i saw on deviantart a while back :o
http://didj.deviantart.com/art/Debat...rnet-136976084

Dempsey · 11-05-2009, 11:17 PM

Mmm that news story about the muslim that went on a killing spree was just on. The old guy where I live started going on about some racist crap and the Curan says that non-muslims should be killed for being infidels. It wasn't hard for me to win that debate. Still a little depressing that people are that stupid.

I just have a natural urge to reply to racists and show them up for being so thick.

delirium · 11-05-2009, 11:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadowguy

So I was getting into a debate through online comments (would never do irl) and I keep thinking I'm just embarrassing myself, nothing I write makes any sense, etc. Then I dwell on it for a while even though I'm anonymous and I'll never see this person.

Take a logic course.

Rixy · 11-06-2009, 09:22 AM

I always assume I'm wrong with everything, so it's hard for me to back myself up and speak up in debates.

rincewind · 11-06-2009, 09:30 AM

I don't have much trouble debating something online, but in real life my usual conversational problems and lack of self-confidence around other people always get in the way.

southward · 11-06-2009, 05:01 PM

I don't care enough about anything to debate a subject. That's not true, I do feel strongly about some things, but I just feel don't feel like I need to force my opinion on people.

I did use to try to debate things though...and I sucked, I guess that's why I stopped...

11-05-2009, 08:53 AM	#1 (permalink)
shadowguy Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 30	Ugh, I suck at debating So I was getting into a debate through online comments (would never do irl) and I keep thinking I'm just embarrassing myself, nothing I write makes any sense, etc. Then I dwell on it for a while even though I'm anonymous and I'll never see this person.

11-05-2009, 09:01 AM	#2 (permalink)
leonardess Status: wheresthefire?inmyeye! Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: WILL you people please leave me alone?I'm supposed to be working lol Gender: Female Age: 45 Posts: 1,231	I do that too. I think a lot of people do. __________________ One day I will change this sig to something really cool, if I only had a brain....

11-05-2009, 10:37 AM	#6 (permalink)
its_a_rick Status: So tired... Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Netherlands Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 214	Yeah, debating sucks, I tend to stay away from it as much as possible. I'd rewrite my comments so many times and end up not even posting them. I remember when I was in highschool and had to do two debating sessions in a group of like five people. I just couldn't get myself to utter a word, or even think of a word to say for that matter. Needless to say I failed but luckily it wasn't a huge percentage of the grade. __________________ Yummy... boredom.

11-05-2009, 10:46 AM	#7 (permalink)
Banzai Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: UK Posts: 917	I feel extremely initimidated having a debate with someone (I try to avoid it as much as possible) whose intelligence vastly outsmarts mine, both in real life and online - I become extremely conscious of what I say. I'm not great at it though. When it comes to online debating, I sometimes analyse what people say to the point that I don't understand what the meaning of it is any more, even if it is relatively simple. As for real life debating, I often need a little time to come up with an effective comeback. __________________ When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. -- Emo Philips

11-05-2009, 10:54 PM	#12 (permalink)
illlaymedown Status: Miseria Cantare Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Mississippi Gender: Female Age: 23 Posts: 366	Depends on what the debate is about :/ Don't like to debate about stupid things and sometimes I will say something and if people respond with ignorance or they are bent on keeping up with the same arguement even if it's silly, I just quit talking to them Not everybody is going to agree on everything I can understand why people can find it hard though especially with SA whispering sweet nothings in your mind __________________ "I feel like a helpless puppet being manipulated in some major scheme."~ Squall Leonhart My avatar is my art...www.myspace.com/illlaymedown

11-05-2009, 09:21 AM	#3 (permalink)
shadowguy Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 30	Hmm...it might be a good way to practice not dwelling on past social situations now that I think about it.

11-05-2009, 12:08 PM	#8 (permalink)
FakeFur Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NY Gender: Female Age: 18 Posts: 44	Whether online or in real life, I often keep my opinions to myself. I'm scared that if I get into a debate with someone, I won't be smart enough to sufficiently back up what I'm saying, and end up looking like an idiot. Sometimes I need a bit of time to come up with something good to say as well.

11-05-2009, 12:14 PM	#10 (permalink)
pointy Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Australia Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 112	One of the primary activities I'm involved in online is debating and I still get self conscious about it. Often I'll look at what I've written afterward and wonder if people will interpret it as a schizophrenic or pretentious mess.

11-05-2009, 03:02 PM	#11 (permalink)
nightrain Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: NC Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 825	I have the same problem, so I just avoid it all together. Normally I know what to say, but I have trouble expressing myself in text

11-05-2009, 11:14 PM	#13 (permalink)
fd000 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Central Jersey Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 22	I don't know if I should post this, but it reminded me of a funny picture i saw on deviantart a while back :o http://didj.deviantart.com/art/Debat...rnet-136976084

11-05-2009, 11:17 PM	#14 (permalink)
Dempsey Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Sydney Australia Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 637	Mmm that news story about the muslim that went on a killing spree was just on. The old guy where I live started going on about some racist crap and the Curan says that non-muslims should be killed for being infidels. It wasn't hard for me to win that debate. Still a little depressing that people are that stupid. I just have a natural urge to reply to racists and show them up for being so thick.

11-06-2009, 09:22 AM	#16 (permalink)
Rixy Status: Falling into Guru Muhk Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: UK Gender: Male Age: 17 Posts: 228	I always assume I'm wrong with everything, so it's hard for me to back myself up and speak up in debates.

11-06-2009, 09:30 AM	#17 (permalink)
rincewind Status: SAS Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Scotland, UK Gender: Male Age: 27 Posts: 291	I don't have much trouble debating something online, but in real life my usual conversational problems and lack of self-confidence around other people always get in the way. __________________ Per Ardua Ad Astra

11-06-2009, 05:01 PM	#18 (permalink)
southward Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 301	I don't care enough about anything to debate a subject. That's not true, I do feel strongly about some things, but I just feel don't feel like I need to force my opinion on people. I did use to try to debate things though...and I sucked, I guess that's why I stopped...