My therapy was paid for by Medicaid, and funding was poor at the clinic, so my therapist DID end up being glad to see me leave--by forcing me out of therapy. Granted, it wasn't helping anyway, it was just chattering and smalltalk about random stuff I'd been up to; she'd given up suggesting things for me to do to improve since when I tried them, they didn't work, and when I complained about that, she figured that meant I just wasn't trying. (I'm the type who will often complain about something but then do it once I'm done venting...guess she didn't understand that.)
It just really hurt because I felt I'd connected with her, but as soon as funding was cut it was like the true colors came out and I feel so foolish that I was so gullible to think a therapist actually cared.
That I believed her compliments and took them to heart so readily because I really wanted some affirmations from another, but apparently they meant nothing since she can cut ties so easily and make me feel lousy doing so. That when she'd tried to convince me to not feel guilty taking up her time, I tried to believe her, only for her to do a 180 several years later and pretty much rub it in how others have problems much worse than mine and I should be happy I'm so "well off," what do I have to be depressed about?
So--completely different route of getting to what was essentially the same conclusion--therapy was pointless!
None of my money wasted, but this was yet ANOTHER letdown, by my own therapist no less, so I just feel even worse about myself now. (And yeah--when I tried to honestly express to her my feelings on this, she turned that on me too, saying she couldn't keep suggesting methods of treatment to me if I was just going to feel worse!) When your therapist basically tells you to get over it then there's little point in trying that method again.
I'm really demotivated now. I might not be making progress with my anxiety but it's sure felt better venting on this forum than it felt going to those pointless "sessions." Toward the end I was dreading my appointment days, and I actually cancelled out on the last one and told them to just send me the paperwork to close my case, which so far I've been too anxious to send back in. That's definitely not a good sign.
If I don't reply to you, it's NOTHING PERSONAL. It's my ANXIETY.
(Devetko's boyfriend Stan Brooks & Det. Reichert are horsing around.)
Det. Kristeva: "If it were legal you'd marry me, right?"
Det. Devetko: "Definitely."
"No canoes...no maple sugar...this place is horribly uncivilized."--Manabozho, Escape From Manitou Island
I'm a go-getter! I go and get it. Then I bring it back!
"Don't overthink the metaphor, Cartwright!"