Social Anxiety Support

ragingbull37 · 07-28-2009, 10:10 PM

i'm 16 and for about two years now i've suffered from social anxiety that's caused some depression and suicidal thoughts for me. I'd like to think i'm willing to take steps to overcome the SA but every time i try to purposely put myself in an anxiety provoking situation i freeze up and find it hard to function. Recently i've started talking to a girl and just tonight i hung out with her and a few of her friends. I know she is really interested in me but i completely froze up the whole night and might have said three words. If anyone has any suggestions to overcome my SA please reply them i cant go on like this anymore

soniavalentine · 07-28-2009, 10:15 PM

I think you should just hang out with the one girl you like...and get to know her better.
That way, you'll just focus on her and be more comfortable with her AND her friends.

ragingbull37 · 07-29-2009, 10:50 AM

thats pretty much going to be my plan of action. I know if i avoid hanging out with her the anxiety wont get any better, so even if its really hard at first i think eventually it wont be too bad, at this point i'm just looking for any reason to stay optimistic

socially inept · 07-29-2009, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ragingbull37

i'm 16 and for about two years now i've suffered from social anxiety that's caused some depression and suicidal thoughts for me. I'd like to think i'm willing to take steps to overcome the SA but every time i try to purposely put myself in an anxiety provoking situation i freeze up and find it hard to function. Recently i've started talking to a girl and just tonight i hung out with her and a few of her friends. I know she is really interested in me but i completely froze up the whole night and might have said three words. If anyone has any suggestions to overcome my SA please reply them i cant go on like this anymore

*read overcoming shyness and sa by gillian butler
*thinkrightnows conquering sa cd www.thinkrightnow.com
*hypnosis cds - for shyness self conciousnss and blushing on www.empoweringsounds.com
*use nlp on yourself
*see an nlp practionaiare
*see a cbt therapist

ragingbull37 · 07-29-2009, 08:35 PM

thank you very much but not sure wat nlp and cbt is?

crazyg · 07-29-2009, 10:41 PM

I know a little about nlp and cbt, so I'll try to help. And if anyone can add more, please do. Anyway, I believe NLP stands for neuro-linguistic programming- basically it means that you behave in certain ways because of your thinking. For example, if you're always thinking that you have nothing to say, you will never want to speak because of this thought pattern. A therapist can work with you to change your patterns of thoughts over time. Usually people with SA have really automatic negative thoughts that you may not even always realize are there. They are programmed into your mind to occur immediately before, during or after a social interaction. Once you become aware of them, you can gradually change them into neutral or positive thoughts. (Which in turn will help change your behaviours.)

CBT stands for cognitive behavioural therapy, which refers to not only changing your patterns of thoughts but then also changing your patterns of behaviour. While you change negative thoughts into something more positive, you then also start trying new behaviours. It should be a very gradual process, where you start with something small on your anxiety hierarchy. For example, if walking into a crowded room makes you slightly nervous, you can start by saying positive things to yourself such as: "No one cares if I come in late." And then walk into the room. After acheiving that task, you can move up to a different situation that makes you slightly more nervous. If I remember correctly, CBT involves both changing negative thoughts and changing negative behaviours. I believe it is similar also to exposure therapy. Once you mind realizes that a seemingly dangerous situation will not harm you, it becomes easier and easier to accomplish.

Sorry- I babbled on there for abit. But does that make some sense?

ragingbull37 · 07-30-2009, 09:28 PM

that definitely made sense. i've been trying to do the cbt but i gotta say its pretty damn hard lol

ezcurrad · 07-31-2009, 04:18 PM

you gotta get down to the cause of those negative thoughts and face it! its fcuking hell no doubt but to REALLY get over this you need to be okay with that Sh*t then you'll be like okay that stuff happened but im not going to let it run my life. Of course thats like long term kind of stuff in the short term you gotta find out whats best for you...so really you gotta find your own advice and stop listening to other people cuz we don't know whats best for you only you do!

organicwildroot · 07-31-2009, 05:10 PM

I hope those suicidal thoughts will go away as easily as they came. I was suicidal on and off throughout the years. It started when I was 14. I'm 24 now and don't really think about it at all anymore. Sometimes if I have a really bad day, I don't really consider killing myself, I just say to myself that I wish I had the courage to end it all but I know deep in my heart that I could never kill myself and that my life is not as bad as I make it out to be. It would be a really selfish thing to do. Even though you think that nobody loves you and nobody gives crap about you, they actually do. They might not show it everyday or express it in a way that makes you feel important but if they lost you then they would be really hurt and why would you want to put somebody through all that.

Just remember that there are people in this world who face difficult challenges every day of their life. Challenges worse than ours. Sure SA is not something to be taken lightly but you can't take for granted your sight, your sense, what you hear and the ground you walk. There are people out their who can't and they are probably more full of life than some of us.

I think your just going through alot right now and suicide seems like the easy way out but it's really not. Don't you want to live a little longer and see what happens? Wouldn't you rather take the risk then give up life completely? Things will get better. Life is hard. It's not fair that some people seem to have it all and I'm not going to say that nobody's perfect because there really are people out there that are simply perfect, everybody has flaws but it seems like their flaws are so flawless. They barely hit the surface and hardly have comparision to some of our flaws. Some people are just better at life. It's not fair, it's really not. We just have to work a little harder to get to where were going is all.

07-28-2009, 10:10 PM	#1 (permalink)
ragingbull37 Status: raging bull Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 7	suggestion for SA i'm 16 and for about two years now i've suffered from social anxiety that's caused some depression and suicidal thoughts for me. I'd like to think i'm willing to take steps to overcome the SA but every time i try to purposely put myself in an anxiety provoking situation i freeze up and find it hard to function. Recently i've started talking to a girl and just tonight i hung out with her and a few of her friends. I know she is really interested in me but i completely froze up the whole night and might have said three words. If anyone has any suggestions to overcome my SA please reply them i cant go on like this anymore

07-29-2009, 10:41 PM	#6 (permalink)
crazyg Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 577	I know a little about nlp and cbt, so I'll try to help. And if anyone can add more, please do. Anyway, I believe NLP stands for neuro-linguistic programming- basically it means that you behave in certain ways because of your thinking. For example, if you're always thinking that you have nothing to say, you will never want to speak because of this thought pattern. A therapist can work with you to change your patterns of thoughts over time. Usually people with SA have really automatic negative thoughts that you may not even always realize are there. They are programmed into your mind to occur immediately before, during or after a social interaction. Once you become aware of them, you can gradually change them into neutral or positive thoughts. (Which in turn will help change your behaviours.) CBT stands for cognitive behavioural therapy, which refers to not only changing your patterns of thoughts but then also changing your patterns of behaviour. While you change negative thoughts into something more positive, you then also start trying new behaviours. It should be a very gradual process, where you start with something small on your anxiety hierarchy. For example, if walking into a crowded room makes you slightly nervous, you can start by saying positive things to yourself such as: "No one cares if I come in late." And then walk into the room. After acheiving that task, you can move up to a different situation that makes you slightly more nervous. If I remember correctly, CBT involves both changing negative thoughts and changing negative behaviours. I believe it is similar also to exposure therapy. Once you mind realizes that a seemingly dangerous situation will not harm you, it becomes easier and easier to accomplish. Sorry- I babbled on there for abit. But does that make some sense? __________________ Sometimes I wish I were someone else, but then why not just try to be the person I want to be? Crazy girl

07-28-2009, 10:15 PM	#2 (permalink)
soniavalentine Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 4	I think you should just hang out with the one girl you like...and get to know her better. That way, you'll just focus on her and be more comfortable with her AND her friends.

07-29-2009, 10:50 AM	#3 (permalink)
ragingbull37 Status: raging bull Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 7	thats pretty much going to be my plan of action. I know if i avoid hanging out with her the anxiety wont get any better, so even if its really hard at first i think eventually it wont be too bad, at this point i'm just looking for any reason to stay optimistic

07-29-2009, 08:35 PM	#5 (permalink)
ragingbull37 Status: raging bull Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 7	thank you very much but not sure wat nlp and cbt is?

07-30-2009, 09:28 PM	#7 (permalink)
ragingbull37 Status: raging bull Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 7	that definitely made sense. i've been trying to do the cbt but i gotta say its pretty damn hard lol

07-31-2009, 04:18 PM	#8 (permalink)
ezcurrad Status: SAS Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: satan's anus Gender: Female Posts: 33	you gotta get down to the cause of those negative thoughts and face it! its fcuking hell no doubt but to REALLY get over this you need to be okay with that Sh*t then you'll be like okay that stuff happened but im not going to let it run my life. Of course thats like long term kind of stuff in the short term you gotta find out whats best for you...so really you gotta find your own advice and stop listening to other people cuz we don't know whats best for you only you do!

07-31-2009, 05:10 PM	#9 (permalink)
organicwildroot Status: HaloOfDarkness Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Washington Gender: Female Age: 24 Posts: 224	I hope those suicidal thoughts will go away as easily as they came. I was suicidal on and off throughout the years. It started when I was 14. I'm 24 now and don't really think about it at all anymore. Sometimes if I have a really bad day, I don't really consider killing myself, I just say to myself that I wish I had the courage to end it all but I know deep in my heart that I could never kill myself and that my life is not as bad as I make it out to be. It would be a really selfish thing to do. Even though you think that nobody loves you and nobody gives crap about you, they actually do. They might not show it everyday or express it in a way that makes you feel important but if they lost you then they would be really hurt and why would you want to put somebody through all that. Just remember that there are people in this world who face difficult challenges every day of their life. Challenges worse than ours. Sure SA is not something to be taken lightly but you can't take for granted your sight, your sense, what you hear and the ground you walk. There are people out their who can't and they are probably more full of life than some of us. I think your just going through alot right now and suicide seems like the easy way out but it's really not. Don't you want to live a little longer and see what happens? Wouldn't you rather take the risk then give up life completely? Things will get better. Life is hard. It's not fair that some people seem to have it all and I'm not going to say that nobody's perfect because there really are people out there that are simply perfect, everybody has flaws but it seems like their flaws are so flawless. They barely hit the surface and hardly have comparision to some of our flaws. Some people are just better at life. It's not fair, it's really not. We just have to work a little harder to get to where were going is all.