Stalker Stories, anyone? LONG STORY - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-01-2009, 02:05 PM Thread Starter
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Stalker Stories, anyone? LONG STORY

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post #2 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-01-2009, 02:10 PM Thread Starter
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post #3 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-01-2009, 05:21 PM
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*scratches head*
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post #4 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-01-2009, 05:42 PM
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Maybe it was just a conincidence?
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post #5 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-01-2009, 05:47 PM
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Originally Posted by letitrock View Post
So reading that made me realize, hey, us SAers may be more prone to being targeted by stalkers and **** because we isolate ourselves-I for one don't have friends, period, so I tend to be alone for much of the time

So, I first noticed him because he was handsome-he's this tall black light skinned guy, athletic looking and there were a couple times that I checked him out, and he may have caught me looking like maybe once, but I wasn't embarrassed like I have been in the past because I wasn't staring like I sometimes do-I just looked and was done so that can't be an excuse for him stalking me-

So anyway, the only times I was in close proximity to him was on our college's little shuttle which transported us to our dorms, and I saw that he lived in a different building then me.....I only saw him on the shuttle like 5 times cuz I started walking to my dorm instead of taking it, but on the shuttle I just didn't even pay any attention to him...once I thought I saw him looking at me out of my peripheral vision but thought I was being paranoid so I just stayed with my head down, listening to music....

But then one day, I was in the library and went downstairs to get dinner in the cafeteria and I saw him in the cafteria getting food also, so I got my food and walked to the elevator cuz I was gonna eat it in the library, so I got on the elevator and it was about to close and I started to sing but then shut my mouth self conciously when he got on-then I went back to my computer in the library and saw him walk past, and I thought it was a bit weird but didn't pay attention to it

The first time I realized that I may have a stalker, was the day that I went to take a math placement test and there were windows in the room and I saw him walk past, and see me in the room, and my eyes went to the window again because I knew he was gonna walk by again to see what was going on in this room(I knew because that's what I wouldv'e done if I was curious)At this point, I still didn't think anything was going on. Then I finished my test, andd left the room with a little smirk on my face cuz I thought I did well on the test and then I saw what I thought might''ve been him (I wasn't wearing my glasses)on a computer facing the room and I thought that maybe was on it it to see when I would leave the room, and follow me but I thought, no, he can't be stalking me.....then I went to the elevators that were outside the room I just left, and waited he didn't come so I thought, phew!, but then the elvators dinged and and there was coming to the elevator that I was getting on and then I knew he was stalking me and eventually I started walking to my dorm building and before I knew it, he was behind me, and I wasn't scared but I wasn't gonna let me see follow me all the way to my ****ing room, so I got out my phone and listened to my messgaes so he wouldn't try anything and when we got to the stairs that led up the building, I just stopped and was gonna pretend do to something on my phone just so it wouldn't be weird that I stopped and then I was surprised when he kept on walking on the path, not up the stairs to my building-

For like 3 seconds I felt guilty and paranoid about stopping so he wouldn't follow me to my room because in the end he kept on walking, but then I felt justified and strong in my reason for stopping, like I was in control, and then that was that-I don't know his name or his year so hopefully this was his last year and I won't see him in the fall......
And this could be in your mind as well. Coincidence in our minds can be twisted pretty easily.

You are coming up with this conclusion way after the fact. Backtracking is another feature of SA analysis - we literally investigate in our heads. If he was stalking you, you would have known this LONG before the end of the year....trust me.

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post #6 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-01-2009, 10:27 PM
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So any of you relate? Opinions, anyone?
I was sort of kind of stalked by an old girlfriend when we broke up. It wasn't really scary but it felt really strange to be followed around by someone for no reason other than they weren't ready to let go of me. I wondered how I'd gotten myself into a situation like that. There have been times in my life when I'd have been happy to have some female longing for me. That was a bad time for me. But it occurred to me that I should have felt like a fool for not wanting to be with her.

But you should probably keep in mind that some of it really could be a coincidence. Sometimes when I'm in stores and public places, I keep seeing the same person over and over. And every time I see them, I see them see me and I wonder if they're thinking the same thing I am. "Why do I keep seeing this person? Does she think I'm following her? God, I hope not! Is she following me? No! That's impossible!"

Sometimes it's hard to believe that something so seemingly impossibly deliberate could be a coincidence. And surely, if it happens more than a couple of times, it seems less and less like a possible coincidence. Stranger things have happened.
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post #7 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-01-2009, 10:52 PM
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Perhaps it's just a conincidence, but it's still creepy and I can understand how you may feel that way. Is your campus pretty small?

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post #8 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-02-2009, 08:15 AM
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This isn't really stalking in my book. You're seeing the same guy passing you a lot around college. If you went away somewhere and you saw him then that would be serious.

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post #9 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-02-2009, 09:32 AM
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^ Poor guy.
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post #10 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-02-2009, 09:51 AM
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Well, as a male
I have been on the other side of the situation (not that I stalk women).

Women act all scared or disgusted when they see me in public.

A few things I noticed -
1. if they are carrying a hand bag, they hold on to it tighter.
2. if they are walking towards you on the street, they quickly cross to the other side.
3. If I am about to park my car and another woman is about to park nearby, she immediately reverses the car and gets away.
4. They always look away from me when I am close.
5. Some of them have an expression of disgust/fear.

I dont mean any harm to any of the women - on the contrary I am very shy.
Yet I have to go through this experience everyday of my life. Can you imagine.
It is very humiliating and demeaning.

It has worn me down to the point that I seldom have any respect towards women
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post #11 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-02-2009, 11:11 AM
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^
Don't be too hard on yourself. You have to learn from your mistakes. Mr. Frostie is just being... well... frostie anyway.

BTW, I thought the last couple of large posts you've made (that I've seen) were very insightful into what is going on in the mind of an anxious female. I for one appreciate it.
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post #12 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-02-2009, 11:12 AM
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he was obviously shy, maybe even shyer than me, although I would never in a million years write anybody a note.
aw, that's such a sweet/sad story. i had a few wordless connections like that in college, but to my utter regret i could never actually talk to them.

what happened after that? did he start hiding from you?

i never stalked anyone, except in high school, my friend and i would drive by this girl's house that i had a crush on. that was pretty pointless, but the house had an aura about it, because she lived there!
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post #13 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-02-2009, 11:13 AM
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its probably just a coincidence. I had an ex stalk me forever, it was sooooo scary. It leaves tracks.
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post #14 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-02-2009, 12:25 PM
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There's a good chance he was interested and just wanted to talk to you.

I used to have a "stalker". In middle school there was some really big girl with curly blond hair. I think I talked to her once and after that she liked me. She used to talk about me like I was her boyfriend to other people. It made me sick. She used to do this even when I was in the same room as her. She had pictures of me in her locker. Her friends used to take pictures of me randomly and then run away. She would show up to my baseball games that were hours away. She would get new screennames and talk to me on AIM. It disgusted me. Now that I look back on it I should have done something about it because it was pretty bad. Instead me and my friends made fun of her.

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post #15 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-02-2009, 03:38 PM
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Yeah, possibly a coincidence but definitely watch your back. I don't know, are you disappointed that he might possibly be stalking you? Next time he is following you just stop and see if he passes you and then follow him. Or if you have the courage then stop and talk to him. Introduce yourself and tell him that you've seen him around alot, ask him if he wants to go get a cup of coffee and see what kind of guy he is. You might end up liking him alot.
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post #16 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-02-2009, 06:13 PM Thread Starter
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Yeah, possibly a coincidence but definitely watch your back. I don't know, are you disappointed that he might possibly be stalking you? Next time he is following you just stop and see if he passes you and then follow him. Or if you have the courage then stop and talk to him. Introduce yourself and tell him that you've seen him around alot, ask him if he wants to go get a cup of coffee and see what kind of guy he is. You might end up liking him alot.
Ewww...no, I'm not disappointed that he didn't follow me-maybe stalking was a strong word, but this guy-there's just something not right about it....i mean, this was my first quarter at the college, never spoke to the guy before.........and I didn't see him after that last time.......

And ewww, no I am not gonna introduce myself and ask him out for a cup of freaking coffee!-I thought he was cute, but I'm not that interested in him otherwise

As for a coincidence, that's what I thought at first-actually I didn't even think of it as a coincidence, because in the first place, I didn't think anything of it at all......and when I was thinking back on all this, I thought about the times that I've coincidently run into/by the same person over and over, and how I hoped they didn't think I was some stalker-y weirdo, so that made me think, hey, that that's what might be going on with this guy-just some coincidence, but all the times that I saw him, he saw me first, and then just happened to need to take the same path or go to the same place that I did-if it was a coincidence, then we would just individually end up at the same time by chance

if you guys were in my shoes, I guarantee you guys would be creeped out and be thinking twice about everything-

-like when you leave the college building, there is a stop right outside to wait for the shuttle bus and if he really wanted to walk to his dorm building, he could've walked the other way which would've been like a 20minute walk instead of taking the path that I took which added about 10min to his trip
-he sat at the computer facing the room that I was taking my test in, instead of taking a seat at one of the other 10computers that were near him......

......................so maybe not stalking but I'm not really buying the coincidence theory
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post #17 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-02-2009, 06:20 PM
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Women act all scared or disgusted when they see me in public.

5. Some of them have an expression of disgust/fear.
Ya, I experience the same thing when out in public. They stare at me with strong dislike and fear too. I havent been very positive lately and just really negative.

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post #18 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-02-2009, 06:21 PM Thread Starter
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I don't think this quite qualifies as stalking, at least not yet. It could very well be coincidence, and it seems from your post that he lives quite near you - near enough to take the same bus to his dorm.
I know where his dorm building is.
There is a path behind my college that takes you directly to my dorm building and if he wants to walk to his dorm building, he has to head in the opposite direction because it'll take him staright ahead in a 20min walk directly, to his building

But instead, he chose to turn right and head down the curving path that I took to go to my dorm building
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post #19 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-02-2009, 06:37 PM
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Maybe he likes to walk and the scenery is nicer on that path?

Maybe he was just checking you out and hoping for a convenient opportunity to break the ice. I don't know why you would think it was something dangerous though, well I kinda do because all you see on the news and lifetime are horror stories but they never explain the actual statistical probabilities or warning signs that it is something dangerous. When my little sister first went to college she called me one day panicking because some "weird" guy asked for her number then "sort of followed" her when she was going to her dorm. I had to contain my laughter and told her "That's college. Guys are going to hit on you.". I think sometimes people exaggerate these things to themselves because it gives a bit of an adrenaline rush like watching a scary movie. I'm not trying to insult you. I think you are more a victim of our society and that it's not your fault.

Colleges campuses are one of the safest places for females unless they actually want to get taken advantage of at drunken parties. There are too many people around for somebody to be hanging around you if they intend to harm you.

Something else that might be going on is that he caught you checking him out and it made him feel good about himself so he's giving you more chances to check him out.

I really think you should relax and focus on the positive possibilities instead of the negative ones.
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post #20 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-02-2009, 06:41 PM Thread Starter
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You are coming up with this conclusion way after the fact. Backtracking is another feature of SA analysis - we literally investigate in our heads. If he was stalking you, you would have known this LONG before the end of the year....trust me.
I didn't backtrack. Actually, the first time that I thought he was stalking me was when he first began to(that is if he was indeed stalking me)months ago-the idea didn't just pop into my head this week-the idea popped into my head to post about it though after reading the other girl's story
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