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Old 04-01-2011, 02:18 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Thumbs down Sometimes I wish I was dead....

I mean life is really bad right now for me. It seems like everything that is known as bad has happened to me. I really feel no reason to live any longer right now... It seems like I have no reason to be here. My problems are way past having SA. SA is the least that worries me. I am at the point in my life where I just dont know anymore. The more I try, the more I fail. I dont want to die, but if I have to then I have to. I feel that I am at the point of no return....No friends, no job, SA, no life, no nothing,depression, etc.
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Old 04-01-2011, 03:07 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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i don't know your story, but it would be a shame if you did that (i apologize if you've heard that already, but its true).
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Old 04-01-2011, 03:08 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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I wish I knew something, anything, to say to make you feel better. It's frustrating because I sometimes feel those same feelings you are experiencing right now. All I can tell you is hang in there. There is no definite proof that things will not improve somehow. We never know what's going to happen next. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. Life is so hard, I know. But we are only here for a short period of time anyway. Might as well try to tough it out. I'm sure there are some things that make you happy or make you forget about your troubles. Focus on those.
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Old 04-01-2011, 03:30 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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so do i....
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Old 04-01-2011, 03:39 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Some days I hope that I'll be crossing the street and get hit by a car. I could never do it on purpose, but I wish something would intervene with my life.

It's surprising how many people thought about wanting to die at some point in their lives. I almost believe it's normal to feel that way, as long as you don't do anything.
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Old 04-01-2011, 03:45 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by watashi View Post
Some days I hope that I'll be crossing the street and get hit by a car. I could never do it on purpose, but I wish something would intervene with my life.

It's surprising how many people thought about wanting to die at some point in their lives. I almost believe it's normal to feel that way, as long as you don't do anything.
Wow, you mean I'm "normal?" I do think about it, though I would never do anything. I do wish that something would just happen to me. Something out of my control.
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Old 04-01-2011, 03:48 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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"Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors. Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny." -Gandhi
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Old 04-01-2011, 03:48 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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I feel like that a lot. I've had depression for years, I'm going through a really rough time at the moment (came off anti depressants cold turkey pretty much).

I have a lot of stress and I'm failing at what I'm doing.

You're not alone.

You've have to do something you really enjoy and take a week out. If you're good at art or something creative, spend a lot of time with it and express yourself. Get some confidence in yourself as well.
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Old 04-01-2011, 03:48 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lonelysheep View Post
"Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors. Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny." – Gandhi
Good quote.
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Old 04-01-2011, 03:58 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
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Good quote.

I know right? It should be stickied.
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Old 04-01-2011, 04:02 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lonelysheep View Post
"Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors. Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny." -Gandhi
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Old 04-01-2011, 07:32 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by watashi View Post
Some days I hope that I'll be crossing the street and get hit by a car. I could never do it on purpose, but I wish something would intervene with my life.

It's surprising how many people thought about wanting to die at some point in their lives. I almost believe it's normal to feel that way, as long as you don't do anything.
Yeah... I thought about this a lot. It would be completely my fault if I did it to myself and it would cause a lot of problems for everyone because finding my dead body with blood all over it. Could send my parents into everlasting depression and just screw everything up. Would constantly think how my siblings would take it and what that would do to them. traumatizing to say the least.
If someone else did it then I wouldn't have to bare that burden. Everything that I'm worried about and everything I'm scared of would be gone. But then you're dead... There's nothing that would tell what's going to happen if you do that. You'll just be rotting in the ground and that's where your memory will be. Just pathetic!
These problems that you're thinking of are understandable. Nothing is your fault. There is no right or wrong and the only thing that I care about is what your actions are. If you wanted to kill yourself then everything that anyone has ever said to you and every negative memory would define you. Even if you do have nothing do you think you'd want that?
Keep on living just to keep on living and sooner or later you would find your purpose and you could be out of this depression. You would say that "I got through that". Even if every other thing went wrong then at least you could say that you tried, right?
I sound sappy >.>.... Suuuuper sappy
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Old 04-01-2011, 08:21 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by atticusfinch View Post
i don't know your story, but it would be a shame if you did that (i apologize if you've heard that already, but its true).
why is it true? why is it a shame if the op did it? can you give one reason?
not saying the op should,but my life is similar
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Old 04-01-2011, 08:22 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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sometimes i wish i was dead also, at this point in my life im just waiting to die
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Old 04-01-2011, 08:23 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by watashi View Post
Some days I hope that I'll be crossing the street and get hit by a car. I could never do it on purpose, but I wish something would intervene with my life.

It's surprising how many people thought about wanting to die at some point in their lives. I almost believe it's normal to feel that way, as long as you don't do anything.
yeah it's weird. i wish i were dead, but a few months ago a truck almost killed e, and i pressed hard on the gas to escape..and thought ''whew that was close''
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Old 04-01-2011, 09:02 PM   #16 (permalink)
 
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yeah it's weird. i wish i were dead, but a few months ago a truck almost killed e, and i pressed hard on the gas to escape..and thought ''whew that was close''
I made a joke -- strangely enough with my therapist -- in which I asked him to, if I were jaywalking across the street at a certain time, would he just run me over and put me out of my misery. Then, a couple weeks later, I ended up actually having to cross the street, which is something that has always been a fear of mine. Well, I was terrified when doing so. I was afraid I was going to die and that everyone would think I had did it on purpose. Needless to say, I made it safely across the road. Now, looking back on it, I don't know why I cared so much.
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Old 08-10-2012, 12:34 AM   #17 (permalink)
 
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Default You are the victim of psychopaths but don't know it.

Research psychopathy.
You will realize that those thought are not your own but have been implanted into you. Take LOTS of time to research and be thorough.

I can't explain it all in one post. Just think about it and research it.

When I wanted to die, I remembered that my husband told me his ex had committed suicide. I couldn't understand how a person in love could kill themselves. It was HIM. He is a psychopath. He wants people to want to die. I loved him so much and didn't realize that he loathed me. From the very first day we met.... no before that. He had stalked me before we met. Found out all about me. It took 25 YEARS to figure out that I was a game for him. A game of hatred. After that, I realized that my family comes from a long line of psychopaths.

It's unbelievable. But if you feel you want to die, LOOK AT THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU. How do they make you feel?

It's them, not you. LOOK, without feeling, LOOK at them and how they treat you. Do it. Believe what you see, not what you wish to believe.
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Old 08-10-2012, 12:56 AM   #18 (permalink)
 
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I understand how you feel. Sometimes you privately wonder if life is worth continuing if you only receive these tiny morsels of happiness amidst the chunks of despair and hopelessness.

And to be honest, it's not, but we are conditioned to believe this life actually means something. Some believe it's a trial run for an blissful eternity, and others believe you die alone with a few mourners that eventually forget you existed. You will likely finish your life with a brief mention in the obituary section of your papers (and with newspapers going extinct, your surviving family may decide to just stick with a funeral).

Chances are unless you die in an extraordinary way, your death is not leading the news. Your unremarkable life will be forgotten by a planet that currently entertains 7 billion humans that will be unmoved by your passing. You wouldn't get a mention in the boring history books that your boring teacher forced you to read in high school. You wouldn't have your photo in the yearbook of life. Your life doesn't even warrant a chapter, a paragraph, a sentence. You're not even a parenthesis, or an ellipse. You just...existed by the result of your parents having intercourse.

I guess you could say life is meaningless because by definition it is. But if you already know what your fate is, might as well take something for yourself, right? Death will eventually come for you, why speed up the process when there is an outside chance at you having a change of heart and finding something that makes you more open to the idea of living...the irony is you will probably die when your outlook improves, and you'll wish you had this revelation sooner. Regret is a funny thing.
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Old 08-10-2012, 03:35 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
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I know that feels bro...
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Old 10-23-2012, 09:09 PM   #20 (permalink)
 
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I know this won't help, but...
I have the same wish. I have all the things you seem to want, and it still doesn't make the feeling go away. When I feel like this everything is a struggle; I want to turn off, and spend hours roaming wikipedia. I feel like I have no friends, and I don't feel like doing anything with them anyway. I'm going through the motions of daily life waiting for it to end.
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