Socializing makes me physically tired - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-13-2010, 10:41 PM Thread Starter
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Socializing makes me physically tired

I am an awkward kid. A lot of people tell me I am funny and i guess people like to hang out with me. I am a "weird kid" at school as I'm sure many of you are too. The one that doesn't talk to anyone, listens to the teacher, does my work, and right when the clock hits 3 I'm gone.

Hanging out with people makes me tired. I hate hanging with people. I try to do it because i feel like its right for people my age (17) to be doing such but i find that all my friends do is smoke weed (i stopped a while ago because it drives my SA through the roof) and i feel like making conversation is tedious. Being at home by myself watching tv or doing whatever is so much more fun for me... because i don't have to worry about social standards.

Just venting, my "friend" got offended when i exploded on him for asking to hang out. He asked me what i was doing and i told him nothing and i don't want to do anything. Should i keep trying or give up?

It's not like i don't like being alone, its honestly my favorite thing in the world. I see all these posts about people being lonely and i think hey... maybe the only reason i feel this way is because of the interaction i get at school and after thats gone I'll feel the same. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm not doing what teenagers are suppose to do and that I'm a loser, but i get invited to hang out on occasion, i just enjoy being alone more...

sorry for the wall of text
tl;dr: Worrying about what people think of me constantly while hanging out is annoying, and usually when i get home from a friends house, i crash because of how exhausted i am.
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post #2 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-13-2010, 10:46 PM
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Hanging with real friends will make you feel alive. Hanging with new people can drain me and office parties always feel so awkward. Does anyone actually enjoy office parties without being drunk?
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post #3 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-14-2010, 12:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boredandalone View Post
I am an awkward kid. A lot of people tell me I am funny and i guess people like to hang out with me. I am a "weird kid" at school as I'm sure many of you are too. The one that doesn't talk to anyone, listens to the teacher, does my work, and right when the clock hits 3 I'm gone.

Hanging out with people makes me tired. I hate hanging with people. I try to do it because i feel like its right for people my age (17) to be doing such but i find that all my friends do is smoke weed (i stopped a while ago because it drives my SA through the roof) and i feel like making conversation is tedious. Being at home by myself watching tv or doing whatever is so much more fun for me... because i don't have to worry about social standards.

Just venting, my "friend" got offended when i exploded on him for asking to hang out. He asked me what i was doing and i told him nothing and i don't want to do anything. Should i keep trying or give up?

It's not like i don't like being alone, its honestly my favorite thing in the world. I see all these posts about people being lonely and i think hey... maybe the only reason i feel this way is because of the interaction i get at school and after thats gone I'll feel the same. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm not doing what teenagers are suppose to do and that I'm a loser, but i get invited to hang out on occasion, i just enjoy being alone more...

sorry for the wall of text
tl;dr: Worrying about what people think of me constantly while hanging out is annoying, and usually when i get home from a friends house, i crash because of how exhausted i am.
I understand. It's why I don't answer when my friends call. I'm not doing anything and I don't really want to do anything...I like being alone almost all of the time, and if I had to spend time with anyone, it'd be a girlfriend(who would have to be like me).

I got high, and forgot I wasn't supposed to get high.

-Ricky Williams blames pot for his failed NFL drug test
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post #4 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-14-2010, 12:58 AM
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Wow, I can relate to a lot. I even just made a thread yesterday about hanging out and said this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by StevenGlansberg View Post
Today one of my friends called and asked what I was doing. I said nothing so he asked if I wanted to hang out. I said no and he sounded like he was offended. I'm sick of saying sure let's hang out when I really don't want to. But jeeze, now I feel like a bad friend and person.
Quote:
Originally Posted by boredandalone
Just venting, my "friend" got offended when i exploded on him for asking to hang out. He asked me what i was doing and i told him nothing and i don't want to do anything.


Anyway, I totally agree that conversation is tedious and for me it's stressful. I can watch TV alone and enjoy it or I can watch with a friend and have to think of stupid things to say during commercials and whatnot.

And I'm not sure if socializing makes me tired, but I definitely notice I get this weird surge of energy when I know I have a night and empty place to myself. I can do what I want stress free.

However there are times when I hate being alone and not every social outing totally beats me down, but for the most part I agree. I'm not sure if it is just a sign of being extremely introverted or a byproduct of SA or what.

And if you're paralyzed by a voice in your head
It's the standing still that should be scaring you instead
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post #5 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-14-2010, 04:26 AM
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Oh yeah, I hear you. I've gotten worn out just being around people and not saying anything. There are times when I just get this feeling of super exhaustion when I'm with a group of people, it's obviously anxiety, and I don't like it. I think being around people makes me more tired than the actual talking I do, of course if I talk.
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post #6 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-14-2010, 08:15 PM
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I agree, when you're with good friends, you usually feel alive. New acquaintances, office parties (or parties in general) can drain all the life out of you.

After going to a party, I feel like I need days to recover. I just feel mentally, emotionally, and physically wiped. As if I was in some big battle or something, though I suppose spending several hours at a party, struggling with what to say, do, or how to look, etc, could seem like a battle....

I also find it very tiring lately talking to a select few of my friends, on the phone. I have to constantly remind myself to ask certain questions to seem interested or 'normal'. Sometimes I don't think of questions that are appropriate, while I'm speaking with someone so I mentally have to make a list and go down it, asking things here and there. Sometimes with friends, I spend a half hour on the phone and feel like it's been several hours.
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post #7 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-16-2010, 09:11 AM
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Feel the same as a lot of people here.

It is mentally and physically draining to socialize.

Parties and group outings especially. Mostly because they go on for hours and its difficult to break away.
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post #8 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-16-2010, 09:17 AM
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It is definitely draining both mentally and physically. Even if i dont talk and just listen (which is what i usually do). Its probably partly due to anxiety and so much of my energy being drained by my anxiousness.
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post #9 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-16-2010, 09:29 AM
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yes especially when its a boring mundane convo i feel like there just testing me at socializing, obviously not true but thats what it seems like

"Eckhart saw Hell too. He said: The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won't let go of life, your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they're not punishing you, he said. They're freeing your soul. So, if you're frightened of dying and... and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth."
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post #10 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-16-2010, 11:32 AM
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I'm the same. Being around people makes me tired, unless I know them very well. I also enjoy being alone. I have fun when I have free time to myself. I don't find it lonely at all.
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post #11 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-16-2010, 12:08 PM
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I get insanely tired too. I guess it's due to the stress I experience while with other people, my heart is racing, I get a headache after a while, probably due to dehydratation (sweating). I've decided staying away from people is better for my health
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post #12 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-16-2010, 12:33 PM
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It is true that I like to be alone but I really don't WANT to be alone or want to LIKE being alone. I can't enjoy myself in social situations because I become so stressed and anxious.
I'm really sure if you lost your friends or didn't have anyone to hang out with you would start to re-evaluate why you like being alone and what you want to do in life.
I think you would ultimatly find that you crave comfort from other people, maybe not all the time but eventually you will get complacent and depressed if you are too isolated.
I think social situations can be overly stimulating for people with SA and the relaxation and freedom of being alone after can feel like such an relief... but you have to be careful to not confuse what the problem is. The problem is that you can't be comfortable socializing and that you are overly stressed, not because you feel forced to socialize. You would never feel calm alone if you never socialized and if you were always alone you will quickly become under-stimulated and depressed.
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post #13 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-16-2010, 02:56 PM
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Yeah, it's kind of confusing because they always say the definition of an introvert is that you get tired from being around people. But with social anxiety, your brain is on red alert just being around people, so that's obviously going to tire you out also.
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post #14 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-16-2010, 04:51 PM
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don't give up. lose all your friends and you will be stuck alone. you may think you want to be alone all the time but believe me it starts to hurt really very bad. worse than the exhaustion.

but, that doesn't mean you have to force yourself to hang out all the time, that will just cause irritation to build up.
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post #15 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-25-2012, 03:32 PM
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Will Anything Prevent Feeling Exhausted After Socializing

I know this is an older post, but I was just searching for answers to this. I would really like to know why socializing also makes me feel completely exhausted! Its so frustrating, because it’s not like you can just avoid all social interaction and have a normal life. The worst part is, I like talking – especially with friends or co-workers. But after each interaction I feel SO horribly drained. I have to seek refuge at work in my car at break and often go right to sleep when I get home. When I am out in nature, I feel very revived and full of energy – but among people…it’s like they suck the energy right out of me! Is there some sort of trick, or medication to prevent feeling this way? At parties, I am of course always more social when drunk – but I can’t just booze it up to go to the office every day LOL
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post #16 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-25-2012, 03:36 PM
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Socializing makes me physically tired as well. I remember I used to always have to entertain people by being stupid and making htem laugh...which I don't do anymore thank god. After that, I just go to my room, shut the door, and feel really exhausted and at peace and so much better when I'm alone.
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post #17 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-25-2012, 08:56 PM
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I agree, socialising with new people can be quite draining. I'm in Thailand at the moment, went to the beach with 3 people for a few hours sun bathing and talking. I did enjoy there company but when I got home to my room I felt drained.

I guess when I'm socialising I am using 100% of my brain power to process what people are saying and trying to join in conversation. I'm glad I put the effort in though!
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post #18 of 19 (permalink) Old 10-25-2012, 10:04 PM
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Socializing exhausts me when I have to put up a facade and I cannot be myself.
Perhaps being at home and just watching TV says that you're not being YOU with the people you hang with. Maybe who you should look for is someone who'd enjoy to just watch TV with you. Maybe you're an introvert who just doesn't have that need to go out and do what people usually do at that age. We are all different.
But don't cut people out of your life entirely. You don't want to be spiraling down into depression, feeling left out, excluded, lonely. Just try and balance your social life with time you need to feel alone. Maybe a healthy balance is what you need, maybe new friends are the answer. Search yourself.
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post #19 of 19 (permalink) Old 06-02-2014, 10:09 PM
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I'm usually in my comfort zone but today an old best friend came over and we sat and talked for hours. About an hour after he left I got so insanely tired. I took my newborn in the bedroom and asked my fiance to make her a bottle (Which I usually do
The caretaking) and I crashed so hard like I haven't slept in awhile. Only slept for a couple hrs and it was hard to wake up. I can't believe it did that to me. I also get minor headaches when I have to to socialize for too long and that happened to.


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