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Old 01-15-2008, 12:05 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default So afraid I will spend my life alone

Iīve had a couple of experiences with women, hasnīt gone well though. I was just looking at pictures I found after years of being lost somewhere. I saw there pictures of a young girl, should be 22 now and it was like was hit in the stomach and my heart was being ripped out. I was really fond of her in 2004 but I blew it. She is so beautiful and smart, it makes me fear her. Iīm sure we almost started a relationship but she became ill and was sent somewhere else. I saw her later a couple of times but I felt so bad plus my social skills arenīt very good. I could not think of anything good to say to her, just mumbled a few and hated me for it and still do, I could have been more decisive and been there for her but I didnīt. Like I am today, I canīt see any girl falling in love with me, this is like physical torture. And everyday I see others enjoy something great in life while I have nothing at all and I get so sad, lonely, depressed, hopeless thinking what could have been with this girl. Iīm just so sad. I need someone to love me but everything is so far away.
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Old 01-15-2008, 05:55 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: So afraid I will spend my life alone

If you have had a gf before im pretty sure you can do it again. You could try online dating and stuff.

And remember it is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved before.
And I should know I havent even touched a girl and I am miserable.
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Old 01-15-2008, 06:03 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: So afraid I will spend my life alone

I've never had a girlfriend either and I have this fear pretty bad. What's weird is that its still not curbing my desire for a beautiful girl, like I'm not desperate yet. Instead its combined with it to make me insanely hungry for beautiful girls which is in turn making me do all kinds of things to get in shape and improve my image. I'm using whitening toothpaste, mouth wash and strips, going to the gym 2 hours a day, counting calories and literally eating Bran Buds for breakfeast. We're talking measuring out my ceral with a measuring cup.

Maybe try that? If anything it'll give you something to do. THat or settle for someone.
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Old 01-15-2008, 06:50 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: So afraid I will spend my life alone

that sounds tuff....i really dont know what to say....it is hard, all you can really do is keep your head up, and if it is bothering you alot about this girl, maybe try to get in touch with her...but if you doubt yourself, things probably wont work....you gotta just know what you want, and go for it, and just keep your head up and always expect the unexpected....it what i do...good luck....
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Old 01-15-2008, 07:41 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: So afraid I will spend my life alone

I feel the same. I have no chance, no real confidence and no ability to speak. I'm looking at living devoid of any real relationships and I can't help but wonder if it's worth it.

I guess keep your head up and keep working on it, if you've had experiences it seems like you're halfway there (to me who sucks xD). Working to make someone fall in love with you... I can't do that.

Life will pass me by...
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Old 01-15-2008, 08:09 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: So afraid I will spend my life alone

I've never had a girlfriend, there's been a couple of girls that I liked a lot, but I was too afraid to do anything about it. I'm still young so I guess I still have plenty of chances to find the right girl.
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Old 01-15-2008, 08:29 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: So afraid I will spend my life alone

i can very much relate to that.. i feel like i could have written it, just switching the genders.
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Old 01-15-2008, 10:25 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: So afraid I will spend my life alone

I know the feeling, I can't bring myself to talk/meet other girls I'm attracted to, I get too anxious. No self confidence and poor self image..

Only gf I ever had was like a miracle or something, mainly because she made all the effort to first talk to me/get to know me and was quite persistant, I even thought it was a joke for a while and couldn't even believe a pretty girl like that was talking to me..me of all people. I refused to meet her family and eat dinner at her house though because I just can't eat in front of other people especially in a situation like that where I know I'm not going to have much to say and going to appear all awkward. She threatened to break up with me if I didn't try to improve my communication with people, and she eventually did. I felt terrible and pretty much hated myself.
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Old 01-16-2008, 01:51 AM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: So afraid I will spend my life alone

I share your fear. I'm "only" 23 (almost 24), but I feel like I have missed out on some crucial life experiences necessary to be successful when it comes to companionship.

I am pretty much resigned to never finding that significant other to spend the rest of my life with. I also don't know how long I can live being alone. The lonliness is easily the hardest part of my social anxiety to deal with, and it is the main source of the depression I battle.
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Old 01-16-2008, 11:56 AM   #10 (permalink)
 
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Do you come in contact with any women regularly? If you do, just buy and give her some flowers. At worst you will have done something sweet for someone in need of a pleasant surprise. And at best...well...I'll let your imagination fill in that blank.
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Old 01-16-2008, 12:54 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: So afraid I will spend my life alone

Quote:
Originally Posted by dave :o
I know the feeling, I can't bring myself to talk/meet other girls I'm attracted to, I get too anxious. No self confidence and poor self image..

Only gf I ever had was like a miracle or something, mainly because she made all the effort to first talk to me/get to know me and was quite persistant, I even thought it was a joke for a while and couldn't even believe a pretty girl like that was talking to me..me of all people. I refused to meet her family and eat dinner at her house though because I just can't eat in front of other people especially in a situation like that where I know I'm not going to have much to say and going to appear all awkward. She threatened to break up with me if I didn't try to improve my communication with people, and she eventually did. I felt terrible and pretty much hated myself.
that is similar to my situation as well. i couldn't open up and get close to him.. even though i would say so many times that i would try my best, i couldn't do it. i completely lack the ability to do that, it seems. i just have no idea and i hate myself so much for that because i don't know how to change.
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Old 01-16-2008, 01:08 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: So afraid I will spend my life alone

^^^
you guys cant think like that...you are who you are...you cant change who you are....maybe we're just doomed...but i mean, its just the struggle, lets face it, we struggle all day, but if we have enough will, we wake up the next morning...i just believe theres gotta be somebody, someone, who can just accept us the way we are, cause everyone has problems, but we all live with them and most of us try to improve them....i dont know, i just believe hard work pays off, and humans adapt...cause none of us, obviously, really like this ****...but we gotta try, cause if you dont try whats the point??, ya know...i mean i dont know, im just sayin, it is hard though....i defenatly agree, ive had a couple slip that i thought maybe somethin could have happen, but we just gotta keep move'n.....its all what you tell yourself...we can convinse ourselves of anything...so what if we get red, so what if we feel nervous and anxious in situations were not comfertable in....it is human...you just gotta learn to accept it and put yourself in situations you actually wanna be in and find the right people, and just do what you want to do....and im done preachin, im sorry.......
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Old 01-16-2008, 02:22 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: So afraid I will spend my life alone

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Originally Posted by Lonelyguy
I've only had two dreams in my life. One has always been to fall in love, the other has been to take over the business where I work someday. I just found out yesterday my boss's son, who spent about five years in prison and had little contact with his father for many years has developed a sudden interest in this line of work. I've worked very hard over the years to get where I am today and had high hopes of eventually taking over when my boss retires. Now theres a real good chance I'll eventually be training his son to be my future boss since I'm sure he'll be first in line to take away my other dream. It seems I'm destined to fail at everything I've ever wished or hoped for. Sorry I don't sound more positive right now, I've just been having a really rough time dealing with everything lately.

That's really lousy. Was in prison for 5 years. Why was he in prison? That sucks you would have to train him to be your boss. I wouldn't like that at all. Hopefully, your boss won't do this. All I can say is to take it one day at a time and hopefully things will work out. If you have too you can create your own job. You are very skillful at what you do. Heck, you could start a business restoring vehicles.
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Old 08-17-2010, 11:04 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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Well I can totally relate to you all. Ive never had a girlfreind for longer than a month and even then we were hardly a couple. The truth is that people like us will never be successful with a partner. Ive DONE everything! I work my body into a model worthy piece of art, NO AVIL! Ive aquired a excellent career, I made $125,000 last year, NO AVIL. I talk to all the women I can, and Im sincerley kind, considerate and interested in them, NO AVIL. Ive tried dating websites, singles bars, traveling to other countries and so much more. Truth is im the problem and If I really wanted a girl I could get pretty much anyone I want, even married ones. Im not kidding or being cocky. However, you must consider the cost. What I mean is for you to succeed you will have to kill who you are and give yourself fully to someone else. To be honest it isnt worth destroying who you are. Some people are cut out to breed and raise families, and some arent. The ones who arent (like you and me) our purpose is the advancment of mankind. It may sound crazy to some, but not likley from our point of view. Ive been all over the world and can assure you that people are just people and there is NOTHING wrong with you. As little you may think of yourself, know that people like me know and apprieciate you more than you can imagine. Just because you will never have a "Normal" ha! life, it is totally necassary. If your really concerend about living your whole life alone, just DONT try to get a partner at all. If you totally push it aside and stop looking for it, cruely life will drop a the woman/man of your dreams in your lap, because life is sickly twisted like that. So my freinds drive, charge and soldier on! Bless you and thank you!
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Old 08-17-2010, 11:32 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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i have real issues getting to know people, as im sure most people here do. there's this one guy, though, who actually took the time to get to know me for some reason. he's the only guy who's ever liked me in that way. but he broke up with me a little while ago. a few days, i thin. maybe a week. we're still friends but it makes me sad. he's the only guy who i've been able to get close to. it feels like if i went out with anyone else they'd seem like a total stranger (like he was at first). most guys don't have the patience he does and plus he was pretty desperate.i can't imagine anyone else wanting to go out with me.
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Old 08-17-2010, 11:53 PM   #16 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by abcd View Post
Some people are cut out to breed and raise families, and some arent. The ones who arent (like you and me) our purpose is the advancment of mankind.
yep. I guess I accept that as being the truth, some were meant to use their brains at full capacity, others were meant to use their body at the best advantage. The thing is, the urge to reproduce is 100 times stronger than the urge to advance humanity. There's always that constant build up in the mind to make better use of technology, but sexual desires are always there constantly nagging the body to make more.
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Old 08-18-2010, 09:16 AM   #17 (permalink)
 
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Don't even care if I spend life alone anymore.
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Old 10-03-2010, 04:04 PM   #18 (permalink)
 
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Am 20 never kissed a girl,have no friends no job so if anyone is going to spend their life alone its me.Your problems aren't serious
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Old 10-03-2010, 04:34 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
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I am pretty convinced that I will be alone for the rest of my life too.
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Old 10-03-2010, 04:39 PM   #20 (permalink)
 
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Does anyone realize this was posted over 2 years ago?
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