She hung up on me!

[Redferne]

So my Grandma calls me tonight… and starts screaming at me that I wasn't "talkative" enough at my birthday dinner 2 weeks ago. She tells me I should "seek treatment" and that I should "see a doctor" and "appreciate life". And then she hangs up on me!

I couldn't bloody believe it. Like, yeah, thanks – that helps A LOT! The reason I don't talk much is because she never listens to me. And would it kill her to try to help or at least understand me? Picture this: you're turning 36, no husband, no kids, no parents, no siblings, no friends, not even a frackin' job – and you're having your birthday dinner with your Grandma. Would YOU be deliriously happy? I managed to fake it for a couple of years, but I just can't anymore.

Anyway, it's her loss – I'm done. I’m sick of being taken for granted and treated like crap by her. I'm not a doormat like my Mom was. I don't care if I never see her again. And it's so stupid, because so many elderly people WISH they had someone who cared instead of dumping them in a home and forgetting about them. Now I understand why my Mom resented her so much. Argh!

[TheGMan]

I think you have the right attitude.

[OneIsALonelyNumber]

Originally Posted by Redferne

And it's so stupid, because so many elderly people WISH they had someone who cared instead of dumping them in a home and forgetting about them.

Yeah... no kidding!

[Amnesiac]

Wow that is even more harsh than the brother's buddy post.

I had a great relationship with my grandma before she past away. I could never imagine her saying something like that to me. You'd think they be supportive instead of trashing their grandchildren who care enough to keep them company.

Plus, its your bday you can celebrate how ever you want to even if you want to do it in complete silence. Its not like its her day.

[ripvanwinkle]

If this behavior is par for your grandma, she's a toxic person. If you think it would bring you some peace, go ahead and confront her, but only to speak your mind. You won't change her. Then walk away. Be prepared for some heavy-duty manipulation to try to bring you back.

[KimberlyK]

I think she is trying to help you in the only way she knows how, the advice she gave is the same advice you would get here if you were asking for help with SA.

[Redferne]

Thanks for the replies, you guys and gals.

Trust me, Grandma is NOT trying to be helpful. When she says I need to see a doc, she means I belong in the psych ward. Her tone is NOT concern - it's "you're crazy".

What she doesn't even care to know is that I've BEEN there - docs and shrinks and pills... and nothing helped.

And she is quite the toxic witch alright. I remember many Xmas/Easter or birthday parties where she would get drunk and tell me horrible things until I would start crying. And then she would laugh at me. She always called me selfish and spoiled and ungrateful, and said no one would ever love me and I'd die alone. Lovely, isn't it?

I'll talk to my aunt and ask her what she thinks. Otherwise, like I said: I am DONE.

[moejo]

My grandma was that way. Always judging people, being a pain in the rear. She would say she wanted great-grandchilden and what was the matter with me. Another line of her's was, "Do you know xxxxx?" Then list their accomplishments. A got in a few arguments with her.

When she passed I didn't shed one tear. I was happy she was gone.

[Skackal]

[quote="Redferne"]I don't care if I never see her again.

I agree. SA and everything it brings with it is more than enough problems. You sure don't need anyone around you - especially family for God's sake - that ADDS to the problems. Put yourself first for a change and do what's best for YOU.

[GraceLikeRain]

I'm sorry that happened to you
I know that people say that you should respect your elders, appreciate your family members, etc, but that becomes impossible to do when they treat you like crap.

[SheIsBrite]

Sorry to hear that.
I understand because (I hate to say it because I know it sounds really bad) but I HATE my grandmother. She always has something negative to say about me (behind my back, sometimes in my face). To this day I don't speak to her, and I live with her. I just go about my business. She only makes my problems worse and I will honestly be happy when she is out of my life for good.

[leppardess]

I feel for ya I had a toxic grandmother too. It's sad because I was raised to respect my elders but respect is a two way street and in the end, we did make peace but it was a long, hard road getting there.