Personal space issues (be gone!)

[bwidger85]

I feel like I've conquered much of my shyness but I still have this personal-space issue thing that drives me insane. Every time I'm in class I get so uptight when someone is sitting by me because I can tell they sense my anxiousness and they basically put there hand up to their face to cover my presence. Some will even switch chairs later so they don't have to be by me.

The worst part of it all is that I'm in class so it's not like I can build any sense of comfort by talking or w/e because the teacher is preaching. It's just frustrating because it makes no sense to me why I'm so anxious about personal space. It's all in my head, I realize that. I think most people think I don't want them by me, which maybe the case in class, and so they realize that. Bah, I don't know but it's stupid and ridiculous and I shouldn't let it bother me but it does because I don't want people to feel uncomfortable around me but I feel there is nothing I can do! Help!

[malaise]

I can relate. If I'm in an environment that I'm not comfortable in anyways, like a classroom, and someone sits too close to me I get very anxious, even agitated. It depends on the mood I'm in. Sometimes I'm just in my own world and don't notice anyone else, other times the smallest things set me off. Basically I give off the vibe of someone who needs to be approached very carefully, like a caged animal or something who might bite your hand off if you come too close.

But you'd be surprised. I bet 99.99% of those people who you think can feel your discomfort and move away or use their hand to "cover your presence" probably aren't aware at all, you're just reading into it too much. Just don't think about it. Most people have personal space issues themselves, they have their own idiosyncrasies about where they like to sit or how they like to sit or whatever. It's nothing personal against you. I sometimes put my hand up against my face because it helps me concentrate, things in my peripheral always distract me.

[glarmph]

I can't stand people in my space. The worst for me is usually at checkout lines in stores. They're just RIGHT THERE, breathing down my neck. It's like "get the **** away from me before I stab you" And most people seem to do this. Standing like one foot away, usually burning my eyes with their overpowering cologne or perfume they're so close.

[bwidger85]

Yeah, I just hate it when I have to copy notes and I feel that whenever I look up I'm sending off this strange vibe and people pick up on it and react offish towards it. You say 99.99% of people don't notice but why is it then whenever I get uncomfortable they react that way and then I look around and no one else in the classroom is doing what they are doing (body language) besides the ones closest to me? I tend to overanalyze sometime but I'm pretty sure I'm giving off some "get the hell away from me" vibe, and I absolutely hate it. Then I think about it, I guess I don't like people close to me in certain situations like the classroom because I also lose focus. It just seems impossible to be alone in a college so large as mine.

The worst part is knowing how it takes over my mind. I know it's dumb and I know I'm probably blowing it out of proportion but it just drives me insane! On the flip side, if I am to totally seclude myself in the corner of the classroom I feel even worse because I feel like I'm a recluse. It seems like a no-win situation any way I decide to look at it. Sometimes I wish I could just put my hoodie up in class to block my peripheral but I'm a full grown man and that would look stupid.

I used to act like I was comfortable with close personal space but i honestly feel like it's the best option for me to show my frustration through tapping, looking around, or doing something because it's a good release for me. It sucks though because if I'm really uncomfortable I can't focus in class, so then I get angry about it, like today.

Ugh, it's so stupid. I need to stop putting so much emphasis on it because it sucks so much energy out of me, it's ridiculous.

Prehaps I just am very animated and people have a hard time focusing because of it and that's why they do it? I'm really trying to lighten this up in my head here...