People you thought were your friends turning on you - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-11-2007, 03:42 AM Thread Starter
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People you thought were your friends turning on you

This has been happening to me a lot lately for some reason. People seem to be cruel and quick to turn on me for reasons I think they would forgive others for. I'm usually quite reserved and try not to be arrogant or rude and I think that might be my problem. If you're shy or let others know you're somewhat depressed they're more likely to turn on you (I guess you can say the same for people who are ugly, considered weird, or outcasts etc). Also that tends to create a pecking order with their friends or people who you thought were your friends. If one person turns on you they all will and they'll make it known to you how meaningless any moments of bonding between you were. I don't know what I can do to make people like me more. Feels like I just can't connect with anyone at all.

Edit: Now this didn't actually happen this way but I'll give an example

Person X says something in front of the club (I've been a member of the club over a year, thought I had friends and people who liked me since I'd contributed so much for so long)
I say something, basically comparing myself to person x, and person X feels the need to call me ugly and bully me out of nowhere and for no reason other than to make me feel bad in front of everyone.
I stand up for myself, as any person who'd be in my situation most likely would. I get person x removed from the club because he bullied me and called me then everyone turns on me and I end up being outcast and eventually removed from the club myself and person x is invited back, even though he was the one who started the trouble. No one seems to care that I was removed or bullied and picked on. I might as well have never even been there though I was just as active as anyone else and had been a part of the club over a year.

It's almost as though it's expected of me to just be picked on and bullied rather than stand up for myself. I would have lost in either situation whether or not I had accepted his bullying or whether I had done the correct thing by having him removed for the name calling. Its almost like my predetermined lot in life just to be a loser no matter what. I don't know how a person like me can accept having total apathy from everyone to the point where they think it's justified if I'm bullied or picked on and kicked around. Really makes me hate people as a whole but makes me hate myself more so because it's just natural for people to treat me this way. How else can you cope with something like this without wanting to kill yourself or go on a psychotic rampage?

I'm getting flashbacks of similar childhood experiences...
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-11-2007, 09:52 AM
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re: People you thought were your friends turning on you

Things like that already happened to me to an extent. Thinking at it, the way I would want to react if something like that happened again to me, would be either get extremely angry, and talk to the club owners, if it did work, perfect, I can have a sly rivaly with the guy who picked with me, if not, I just walk away and get a better club. I think how we should react is which option feels the better, because that's probably the best choice.

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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-11-2007, 03:53 PM Thread Starter
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re: People you thought were your friends turning on you

I retaliated with revenge. I posted disturbing images to the club (graphic porn, pictures of dead people etc) and I also reported them to authorities for illegal activities but I seem to not be getting any response from them. I want to shut them down.
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-11-2007, 04:00 PM
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re: People you thought were your friends turning on you

It's always been that way for me too...I think I should just turn into a huge ***** and go around beating the living crap out of people. I bet they would like me better then.
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-11-2007, 04:31 PM
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re: People you thought were your friends turning on you

I can relate, being a bully victim myself. You really can't trust anyone in this world, whether it's at work or a club with shady individuals. From my experiences the only way to stop the victim or vengeful/hateful mentality is to be the bigger person and forgive them and drop the burdens and see how much better it feels. If you accept their rejection then they win, but if you forgive you are clear again and the bigger person for being able to move on. What comes around goes around and not sure if you're religious or not but past bullying can make you hyper-sensitve to future predators/"snakes in the grass." Honestly, the only one i can trust and speak in confidence with is a priest, and even some of them are pedophiles. Good Luck, hang in there.
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-12-2007, 05:35 AM
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About 95% of the people I've been friends with in life have turned on me at some point or another. I just gave up pretty much on meeting new people, I only have internet friends (very few and non really close) but I'm happier now. People aren't worth the heartache and trouble.
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-12-2007, 07:18 AM
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Re: People you thought were your friends turning on you

Originally Posted by Sad_ape
People seem to be cruel and quick to turn on me
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-12-2007, 02:51 PM
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I have that going quiet a lot.

" You were deceived. And now, your Republic shall fall. "
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-12-2007, 05:46 PM
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I know what you mean, no one has ever been there long for me.

I've lost control again.
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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-12-2007, 08:37 PM
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re: People you thought were your friends turning on you

a quote from dr.cox went somethin like this

"People are ******* coated shells with ******* filling"
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post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-13-2007, 03:28 AM
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I think to a degree all people hurt each other. However, it seems, we tend to be easier to hurt. As if it does not weigh on another person's concience and is therefore easier for them to do. Also, because we have been hurt so many times, we are, at times, quick to hurt others. I have hurt people here. I have been hurt by the one I loved the most (someone here). At times theese instances were unreasonable. I know for me I must be the better person and do the right thing if I don't want to look back on it with regret for the rest of my life, and I have to steer clear of other people with a lack of concience. I have been abused by others all my life. Forgiveness and respcting other people's rights and feelings is the only way I can maintain my self respect.
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