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Old 06-26-2012, 01:26 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default People think I'm stupid

People always think I'm stupid because of my social anxiety. I don't talk a lot, and my anxiety delays my reaction time, especially since I'm not used to talking to people a lot, so if someone makes a joke or explains something slightly complicated, I take longer to process it because I'm so busy trying to deal with my anxious thoughts and then try to absorb what they just said, and then on TOP of that think how to react, because that's the hardest part, saying something back! But I'm not stupid, I did really well on my SATs and was in mostly AP and Honors classes in high school. I just perform much better when I'm not under social pressure. People who don't understand of have SA don't get that, and they just think I'm a dumb girl. I'll admit, I should read more in general besides books about spirituality/chakras/ect., I don't have a deep understanding of politics/sports/economics (which fills the stereotype of "dumb girl"), and a lot of the times I find myself not knowing certain famous people or news events...but I'm a pretty good writer and speller, I have a decent vocabulary, I'm great at math and science, and I always catch onto jokes when I'm watching TV shows that a lot of my friends don't even get.
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Old 06-26-2012, 01:59 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
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I just mentioned in another thread how people assume that I'm dumb/ stupid.

It's funny how you mention that you catch onto jokes that your friends don't get, its the same with me. I think sky people are more akin to picking up on the small things thus we have a greater understanding of humour.
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Old 06-26-2012, 02:16 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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I'm the same way! It takes me longer than most people for things people say to register in my head and respond but then I get things that other people don't get. I think a lot of people just think I'm arrogant or something though
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Old 06-26-2012, 03:03 AM   #4 (permalink)
 
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I *am* slow when it comes to the social stuff. People who really know me know my power comes in complex problem solving and mathy stuff. I tend to be a little slow on the uptake when it comes to conversations... and when I do contribute it comes off awkward so I'm quiet a lot. New people aren't impressed by this I'm lucky I've known my coworkers for years and years they "get" that I'm a little different but my neurotic need to answer a question once asked even if it takes all day for me to figure out how to answer it properly is valuable at least.
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Old 06-26-2012, 03:50 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Yeah I do that, by the time I've thought of the words to respond their just looking at me like I have problems, or have already walked off :/
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Old 06-26-2012, 04:07 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
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i thinkin a group i kinda hear the joke they are saying and its so miniscule and cr4p i dont react to it, whiee all the other poople are like hahahaha thats funny man, just to do the socially acceptable thing. I dont hink your slow, I think you are seeing beyond the stupidity of how you are "meant" to act.


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Old 06-26-2012, 04:14 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
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I know what you mean. At my last job my manager used to talk to me like I was a retard when she would explain stuff to me... Even if it was extremely simple... She would be like "are you sure you got that... Can you handle that?" the worst thing was when she was explaining something to me and she was like "ok now repeat to me what I just said" people are so f***ing ignorant.
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Old 06-26-2012, 04:17 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vamp6 View Post
I know what you mean. At my last job my manager used to talk to me like I was a retard when she would explain stuff to me... Even if it was extremely simple... She would be like "are you sure you got that... Can you handle that?" the worst thing was when she was explaining something to me and she was like "ok now repeat to me what I just said" people are so f***ing ignorant.

In this case it is the ladies ignorance. You sound like you were shy and quiet, this does not indicate RETARD!
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Old 06-26-2012, 05:37 AM   #9 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by syershov View Post
People always think I'm stupid because of my social anxiety. I don't talk a lot, and my anxiety delays my reaction time, especially since I'm not used to talking to people a lot, so if someone makes a joke or explains something slightly complicated, I take longer to process it because I'm so busy trying to deal with my anxious thoughts and then try to absorb what they just said, and then on TOP of that think how to react, because that's the hardest part, saying something back! But I'm not stupid, I did really well on my SATs and was in mostly AP and Honors classes in high school. I just perform much better when I'm not under social pressure. People who don't understand of have SA don't get that, and they just think I'm a dumb girl. I'll admit, I should read more in general besides books about spirituality/chakras/ect., I don't have a deep understanding of politics/sports/economics (which fills the stereotype of "dumb girl"), and a lot of the times I find myself not knowing certain famous people or news events...but I'm a pretty good writer and speller, I have a decent vocabulary, I'm great at math and science, and I always catch onto jokes when I'm watching TV shows that a lot of my friends don't even get.
I can relate. I have really bad performance anxiety...I can do something perfectly and then as soon as someone's watching me my brain disintegrates into mush. it's really frustrating. I just learned not to let it get to me. if you know you're not stupid and are confident with your intelligence, that's more important than what other people think, especially if they don't know the whole story. plus, being underestimated can be a good thing...people put themselves at a disadvantage when they underestimate others who are likely more intelligent than they are.
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Old 06-26-2012, 09:23 AM   #10 (permalink)
 
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I've been stupid my entire life.
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Old 06-26-2012, 11:05 AM   #11 (permalink)
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I think anxiety kinda shuts off higher functions, you are in this state of readiness/fear. In situations where I am really anxious I forget what somebody has said just a few seconds ago. I worked in a pub for a while and in really tense situations my mind would just go completely blank and I couldn't even work out a really simple sum to figure out how much change to give the customer. I don't see myself as particularly intelligent, I'm definitely not stupid... But when I'm anxious I feel like the dumbest person in the world.
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Old 06-26-2012, 11:42 AM   #12 (permalink)
 
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I think anxiety kinda shuts off higher functions, you are in this state of readiness/fear. In situations where I am really anxious I forget what somebody has said just a few seconds ago. I worked in a pub for a while and in really tense situations my mind would just go completely blank and I couldn't even work out a really simple sum to figure out how much change to give the customer. I don't see myself as particularly intelligent, I'm definitely not stupid... But when I'm anxious I feel like the dumbest person in the world.
yeah its all because of the anxiety... I feel like my timing is off, I interrupt people, I have a heard time sometimes even understanding people, sometimes I understand things wrong and people go WTF...the worse is in a group of loud drunk friends everyone screaming **** and I just get so confused I cant keep up with what theyre saying, trying to come up with comebacks lol I end up not speaking for a while, and it seems weird...
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Old 06-26-2012, 12:03 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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People think I'm dumb too. I say the most stupidest things when talking to people because I'm so nervous I don't know what to say and stupid **** just comes out. And then afterwards I'm like why the hell did you say that?! So yeah, people think I'm stupid and I hate it.
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Old 06-26-2012, 12:05 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OGKush View Post
yeah its all because of the anxiety... I feel like my timing is off, I interrupt people, I have a heard time sometimes even understanding people, sometimes I understand things wrong and people go WTF...the worse is in a group of loud drunk friends everyone screaming **** and I just get so confused I cant keep up with what theyre saying, trying to come up with comebacks lol I end up not speaking for a while, and it seems weird...
I interrupt people a lot too. And I feel so bad about it. I think they've finished talking. I can't tell. And I usually don't understand other and they don't understand me and so it causes people to get mad because we don't know what we're talking about.
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Old 06-27-2012, 08:14 AM   #15 (permalink)
 
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I feel like I inturupt too.. It's like when I do want to talk I don't kno where to come in... I hate it.
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Old 06-27-2012, 12:00 PM   #16 (permalink)
 
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Whenever I work with other people they don't bother listening to what I have to say and quickly over look me because they think I can't possibly have good ideas since I never talk. People are so ignorant.
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Old 06-27-2012, 12:49 PM   #17 (permalink)
 
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In all honesty, I'm not smart. Probably on the lower end of average. I can't understand things people say to me many times, I can't remember a name 4 seconds after I shook a hand, it takes me a long time to understand some jokes, I suck at math and science, can't keep up with politics, can't retain information from a book I just read, have to repeat simple processes many times to finally get how to do it... the list goes on. The only thing I have going is that I have a good vocabulary and can present myself as being smart. I only got decent grades in high school from completing the work, because I didn't do well on the tests.

Self-pity trip woot woot!
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Old 06-27-2012, 02:11 PM   #18 (permalink)
 
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This thread kind of proves what SA is all about. Thinking people are thinking certain things about you or 'mind-reading' is something I used to do all the time. I automatically thought everyone was thinking negative things about me until I went to CBT. There I learned not to do this. Most people are too busy thinking what they are having for dinner or how they are appearing to you, or how they are feeling... to even notice what you are doing or what you are feeling. If you remember this you won't care so much what people are thinking.
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Old 10-11-2013, 01:41 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
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I know this is a late reply, but I can relate to this post. I've taught myself Spanish and German to advanced/near-fluent levels. I plan to study Russian at Cambridge university (no joke). I still get treated like an idiot. The other day my stepsister was in the house with her friend who asked me to ask my stepdad for money for her (it was a very simple task). The whole time her friend kept saying "Aweh, bless her! She's not going to understand that! She's so confused! She's terrified, look at her!" None of that was true. For once, I was perfectly relaxed and, like I said, the task was very simple, but she made me feel like a retard! She spoke as if I wasn't even there! At school people always s******ed behind my back because I "wasn't very smart" and hesitated in class to answered questions because I felt so nervous. I'm seeing a therapist soon, and although I doubt they will help me much, I'm just hoping for some more motivation.
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Old 01-27-2014, 08:41 AM   #20 (permalink)
 
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Question Do this make me stupid?

I'm the same way people think i'm slow because i like to think before i react to a situation that i don't understand yet, and it take me a minute to get it for example i was in the store the other day and i was told to get short bread cookies i was looking at the cookies and saw pecan short bread cookies but the cookies needed were regular short bread with nothing in them so before just picking up anything i had to think then a costumer looking for cookies as well that i did not see came up out of nowhere because i was trying to see if their was other shortbread cookies besides pecan she bullied me to the side because i guess i was taking to long i don't know she had a real attitude problem she did not say excuse me are anything that made me feel less then a man now i was upset. So i had to call to see if pecan shortbread cookies was okay shrug off my anger because that was just plain rude what she did. I get situations like this all the time.:
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