People think im arrogant because i ignore them - Social Anxiety Forum
X

Download the SAS Android App

Or switch to mobile version of the forums

X

Download the SAS iPhone App

Or switch to mobile version of the forums

Help/FAQLog InJoin SAS
Go Back   Social Anxiety Forum > Recovery > Frustration

Reply
Old 12-22-2010, 12:59 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 754



Default People think im arrogant because i ignore them

But its really the opposite and im hurting on the inside because anxiety makes me do stupid antisocial things.

The big two problems that make it seem this way:

I become quiet at public places, like when we go eat, who wants to eat with the guy who won't speak.

I don't greet people properly. I assume they don't recognize me, or its someone else, or they don't know me well enough to say hi. Then I can't seem to smile, wave, or say whats up, or respond properly.
Beryl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2010, 01:09 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 4



Default

I'm in exactly the same situation, people think I'm some sort of recluse and arrogant because my anxiety is preventing me from socialising with people I don't know too well, and like you said, it does hurt when people don't understand your situation. I find it difficult to trust others, and on first meeting me, most people think I am ignorant and difficult to speak to. The hardest thing when your socially anxious is to make the first move, or speak in the presence of groups of people.

I live on a military base, and it's difficult to live amongst others and have social anxiety, life seems to be one constant test. Have you got many people you can speak to about current circumstances etc?
jtb1990 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2010, 01:34 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
Status: :/
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 956



Default

Have others called you arrogant? Sometimes, we assume what others think about us, usually thinking the worst. However, I understand what you are going through. I feel the same way.

Often I won't greet others unless they acknowledge me first. Then, I'm able to say hi and wave, but after that I don't really make much of an effort to be friendly. I'm worried that they'll ask me personal questions, or that they'll notice that I'm extremely nervous.
redtogo72 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2010, 01:39 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
millenniumman75's Avatar
 
Status: Mentor
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Dayton, OH
Gender: Male
Age: 39
Posts: 112,296



Default

^That's what I was going to say, It is an assumption.
__________________
millenniumman75
You are a success story waiting to happen!
Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover....
Live and HELP live is better!

TROLL ALERT STATUS:
CHAT -> BERT

FORUMS -> ERNIE
(troll activity on the increase)

WATCH WHAT YOU TYPE!
millenniumman75 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2010, 02:00 PM   #5 (permalink)
 
Status: im lost can u help me?
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: california
Gender: Male
Posts: 503



Default

i think we worry too much *hint* anxiety
__________________
Life laughs at you when you are unhappy. Life smile at you when you are happy. Life salutes you when you make other happy.
im Lost is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2010, 05:07 PM   #6 (permalink)
 
honeybear1990's Avatar
 
Status: Lauren
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Northwestern Ontario, Canada
Gender: Female
Age: 24
Posts: 332



Default

SAME. I feel so guilty about acting that way because I know it hurts other peoples feelings sometimes.
honeybear1990 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2010, 05:10 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 12



Default

I have the same problem. Quite a few people have told me they thought I didn't like them because I was so cold and quiet the first time we met. But that isn't the case at all! It's just that when I meet people I assume they don't care about meeting me or getting to know me, and that if they try to talk to me it's just them being nice. Which typing that out seems so ridiculous, but that's pretty much what goes on in my head. I have a constant stream of self-doubt running through my head on a daily basis. "This person doesn't really want to talk to you," "why did you say that?," "you're an idiot," etc etc.

This doesn't just happen when I'm meeting people, it happens occassionally even with my friends. I just assume they have no interest in me.
polaresopostos is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2010, 06:04 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
rockyraccoon's Avatar
 
Status: Cry. But I can't.
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Over The Hills And Far Away
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,586



Default

I have been accused of being arrogant. But nothing could be farther from the truth. I avoid people in an effort to not get anxious, therefore I am reluctant to initiate conversations. These people just don't understand what we are going through, so they label us.
__________________
I want you to know
That you don't need me anymore
I want you to know
You don't need anyone, anything at all

Who's to say where the wind will take you
Who's to say what it is will break you
I don't know which way the wind will blow
Who's to know when the time has come around
Don't wanna see you cry
I know that this is not goodbye--Kite by U2


I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright--Morgan Freeman in Shawshank Redemption
rockyraccoon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2010, 06:43 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Gender: Male
Posts: 298



Default

You know, I probably wasn't arrogant before, but as I get more and more used to being the "quiet" one, I am getting arrogant. I just don't care anymore.
Graye is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2010, 07:40 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
Status: SAS Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 431



Default

the same for me but i cant help it.
ont6 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2010, 08:06 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
Status: User Requested Permanent Ban
Join Date: Jun 2009
Gender: Male
Age: 28
Posts: 5,875



Default

There are few things that hurt more than others believing you to be something you're not. Something you don't want to be. It's almost like being accused of a crime you didn't commit. In those situations I like to remind myself that those people judging my actions wrongly are judging just that, my actions, not me. Who I am and my beliefs and motivations. All it takes is changing your outward behavior to align more closely with your intentions, and those people will be brought around. And if not them, then others.
shadowmask is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Why are so many highly intelligent people so arrogant? Still Waters General Discussion 57 07-23-2013 01:47 PM
Why do some people try to ignore me cynicus Frustration 9 05-19-2013 12:55 PM
People with SA seem arrogant on msn. Pok Frustration 9 12-04-2010 04:44 PM
I think people think I'm arrogant. tavi Coping With Social Anxiety 12 06-01-2009 06:24 PM
How to deal with arrogant people looking down on you? Phobiker Coping With Social Anxiety 5 05-15-2009 12:59 PM

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:19 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® ©2000-2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc. User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging v3.1.0 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2014 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.