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Old 09-16-2010, 09:21 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default People hate me for no reason...

Life sucks for me and always has and probably will keep sucking, but I don't understand why people who haven't even spoken to me for five seconds hate me. Yesterday I was eating lunch at my aunt's house and she said "Some on your classmates' mothers have told me that a lot of people really dislike you" and I was shocked. Then my cousin said "yeah... even all your teachers hate you." I was so angry, I've never done anything bad to anyone, I barely speak to anyone because of my SA. I just go to class, sit down, and when the class ends I leave. I don't even talk. But on the exams I get 100s and I don't think people like that since I'm absent about 50% of the time because I hate school because I have no friends. My whole life I've been criticized for everything I do... if I stay home then they say I have no life, if I go out then they say I'm probably doing drugs or something, if I go to sleep late then it's bad, if I go to sleep early then I sleep too much, if I eat little then I'm annorexic, if I eat a lot then I'm a fat pig. I'm just tired of everyone talking **** without even knowing me. People envy that I have money but they have no idea how much I'd rather be poor and have what they have. People think I'm lucky because I am intelligent but have to idea that it has been one of the biggest curses in my life, it makes me so different. I've come to a point where nothing matters to me anymore, I don't care if I'm successful, if I go to college, if I wake up tomorrow. I mean, seriously what have I ever done to the people who hate me? I seriously never talk to anyone so I can't do anything, unless my silence hurts them or something. Almost every day I receive a rude comment from someone. I'm about to just burst and after a few more critics I'm just going to go crazy and say all the crap I can to their face to make them feel so miserable that they will want to kill themselves. I'm so angry!!! I'm not even afraid of death anymore since my life sucks so much, I used to be scared of earthquakes and volcanoes but now every time I feel a small quake I just say "I'm gonna die one day anyway." I'm just growing tired of all the bs. I'm thinking of entering Mixed Martial Arts and just ripping everyone in half, I need something to release my anger and stress. I have so much more I want to say but it's getting too long and most likely very few people will read this but I just needed to get it out. People need to walk a thousand miles in my shoes and then they might really know what it is like, it's not as easy as it seems. Fk all the haters.
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Old 09-16-2010, 10:08 PM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Hey, I managed to read every word there lol

I just want to say that I understand the feeling of isolation on your part, although it was not due to the fact that I was extremely intelligent or anything of that particular nature, and I had a group of friends that I hung out with and they were a bad mix for me, I tried liking these people, but they really clashed with my personality. In fact, this particular group of "friends" had the habit of making me the butt of their jokes because I was so strange or that I seemed like I was drugs all the time. It wasn't the best feeling in the world, but I stuck with these friends because I thought I would be swallowed alive by the irrationally-judgmental environment that is High School (oh dear god, I hated High School). After high school, I washed myself clean of those people, and I couldn't be happier because of it.

But anyway, I'm in college now, and although I have not made a great deal of friends, but I have made a few. The great thing about college, especially community college, is that there is no real pressure to fit into some stupid social group and you don't have to fake who you are. I may be the guy with a wierd personality that isn't always inviting for social interaction, I be confident in the fact that although I won't have a lot a friends in my lifetime, I can begin to realize that the only opinions that really matter are the ones that lift me up.

Those negative opinions that others cast upon you do not mean jack-****. Those people don't know who you are, they only see what they want to see. They form negative thoughts about you, and they convince themselves that they are fact. Well, they are wrong!

The only authenticity that an idea has is the attention that you give it. The more you focus on someone's negative opinion, the more power you give it and it can begin to seem real. You shouldn't give those negative thoughts any credence, in fact, see through those falsified opinions for what they real are, baseless opinions. Overlook the negative, search for the positive influences around you instead.

You define who you are, not what someone else thinks about you.
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Old 09-16-2010, 10:17 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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People can be b@st@rds. I remember back in high school, some people made fun of me behind my back. I overheard one guy once... and my sister pulled me aside once saying that there was a rumor that I was whining and complaining about how far I had to walk to the bus stop. It wasn't true. Some guy on the bus was going on and on about how far HE had to walk to the bus. I told him my house was further and it wasn't far at all. 10 minutes to walk to the bus stop wasn't far in my opinion. Apparently this rumor made me look like a whiny, lazy little girl. It didn't even make sense. This girl knew I walked to school a half hour every day in grade 8...why would a third of the time be too long?

SOMEHOW in my first year of high school (gr 9), because of this one girl saying all this crap about me, I lost friends before I could make them. It was only the third week of school too. My sister apparently was trying to see if I was really whining because she wanted me to act normal for high school I guess - 'cause she did genuinely want me to make friends.

This girl who went about spreading this stupid rumor of me whining, never liked me in elementary school and apparently took her first opportunity to trash me. It felt like s@#t just hearing what this girl was doing. She had deliberately told a friend of mine in 8th grade not to hang out with me anymore because I wasn't 'cool'. Luckily the other two friends I had didn't listen, but she took that one friend from me and then had to spread rumors? I was so upset. BUT I got over it quickly. Mostly because I developed a who-cares-about-them attitude. I've lost that attitude now and don't know how to get it back. But it had helped at the time.

Also, the girl who spread the rumor had this thing where she loved to chat with everyone around her. Sometimes she'd say one thing to the person on her right, then turn to her left and say stuff. A few times, I'd be that person next to her and she'd start talking. So I started just walking away any time she tried to say anything. She hated it! And of course...I loved seeing that look on her face. By this point, I had found a few (new) friends and I was cool with them. They didn't listen to stupid rumors so I knew they wouldn't ditch me.

I don't know how up for this you would be, but what about writing some sort of story about what these people do to you and how they treat you? What they say behind your back, etc....and try getting it published in the local newspaper? You could put a spin on it about how these teachers aren't doing their job by trying to teach you and instead they're condemning you...making it hard for you to approach them for questions/problems/issues. And for how the students are getting away with verbally abusing you, isolate you, etc. I know here in Ontario, having co-workers isolate you, leave you out of group discussions, making fun of you is considered harassment now and is protected under the law. You could always reference other states/provinces/countries about how they stand on the subject of verbal/emotional assault at schools. If you put a lot of research into something like this then maybe the paper would print it.

You could check with the newspaper to see if they would allow you to print it under a fake name or as 'anonymous'. I think it could be at least therapeutic for you to write it and if you do get it published, then maybe these parents/teachers/students (at least one or two) might realize what they're doing and fix it. I'm sure that a lot of people go through the same thing and would love to read that some like you (and many of us) go through that. It's just a thought.
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Old 09-16-2010, 11:45 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Thanks, I don't really know why but I feel a little better after reading your responses. But I still don't understand why people hate me without even knowing me -_-
I think I'm going to write a poem because writing helps me deal with all the stress...
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Old 09-17-2010, 03:30 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
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I can relate to this. I was bullied at school for a few years, and at home too. I never yell, or say anything offensive, yet so many people dislike me. I could forgive them for doing so but for the way they admire peers who don't treat them well. It's perplexing to say the least. I have incredibly refined ettiquette and do think of others a lot. I'm just not very verbal. I understand that some people may interpret my silence as a shun, but how can so many people who know so well that I have a complete lack of social poise come to the conclusion that I am the aggressor? It's in my eyes somewhat arrogant. Can't they see that I need help? Where I to ask for it myself, I would just be told that I am looking for attention, or just need to "get real". It makes me feel even more numb inside, that we live in such a selfish world that nobody would care to see your problem. That they instead pilfer your self-esteem and dignity. I hope when you ruminate over these things that you would see the value in not giving in to your anger, lest you become that which you hate! Now that would be a tragedy, as you appear, from your empassioned writing, to be a good person.
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Old 09-17-2010, 05:57 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
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I have gone through similar experiences, both at school, home and in the workplace. My most recent run in with this was at my last job. I worked as a waitress and my kitchen manager and a fellow waitress decided to hate me. If anything went wrong, it was my fault. I was blamed for stealing and my manager flipped out on me and didn't even look into the facts before she blamed me. It turned out to be the other waitress... but did she get fired, or even talked to about it? No. Like wtf. They were constantly yelling at me and talking **** behind my back... (well in the kitchen where I could hear them; Shameless slandering.) The only good thing about that job was the night cook, he was such a wonderful person, he was actually the only person besides my family members that I have ever told about my SA. He was really outgoing, so I was really surprised when he told me that he used to have SA too! It was really encouraging After he switched jobs, I just couldn't keep going back. So glad I quit that job!

I know how it feels to have people hate you for no reason at all! I'm sure they have some sick twisted logic behind it, but the're wrong.
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Old 09-17-2010, 12:30 PM   #7 (permalink)
 
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I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. I'm sure a lot of people on this board have had similar experiences...I know I have. Don't be too hard on yourself. If people hate you without knowing you, it's because of their insecurities and problems, it has nothing to do with you doing anything wrong. People like to bring others down to make themselves feel better, and often pick "easy" victims (i.e. quiet, unusual people) as their targets. They probably know that you are more intelligent than they are and are just plain envious of you, which manifests in them insulting you and trying to bring you down. Just keep in mind that these people are really not important to your life at all, and try not to let what they say get to you. (I know it's easier said than done, especially for people with SA, but I've been through it and I promise it gets easier with time!)
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Old 09-17-2010, 06:00 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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People hate you because their feeble minds require something to channel their contempt towards, and they automatically pick those who are quiet, alone, unreadable and stoic. It's an innate mechanism that allows them to feel a false sense of superiority based on their own arbitrary values.
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Old 09-17-2010, 06:54 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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People hate you because their feeble minds require something to channel their contempt towards, and they automatically pick those who are quiet, alone, unreadable and stoic. It's an innate mechanism that allows them to feel a false sense of superiority based on their own arbitrary values.
^
^
^
This , the quiet ones are their target.
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Old 09-17-2010, 06:56 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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Everyone has to deal with negative people in general but you are probably creating more than your fair share. You had a temper when you wrote what you did. You are superior oriented in your intelligence and contemptuous

Chances are that you have an unpleasant, superior and comtemptuous look on your face more so than not, and this turns people off. You say you hate life and you say things in your mind about that, and it shows on your face and people react to that negative vibe. They don't like the vibe and hate it and you hate their vibe and its a cycle.

You aren't having a neutral look on your face and inwardly grateful for what you can do in life for the sake of it being good, and don't smile easily with a closed mouth smile when you first meet poeple without intending to talk such as someone opening a door for you or you for them when entering a store where no conversation is exchanged but goodwill in the face is shown, or smile with a slight open mouth when you do intend to talk before you do when you see someone that you know that you will chat with and when you chat with them you don't smile with an open mouth a little as you talk about generally what you are glad you can do, in the general situations that are safe to in general to do that, barring bad streets and areas.

When you see poeple who look angry in public, you say you don't like them either. You don't know them either but its really their vibe, its not who they are because you don't know them. That's what's happening to you. Your parents probably are emotionally neglectful and aggressive often with bad communication skills that they got from their parents. Yet its good you have a place to live and food to eat and they aren't trying to kill you, you're life is not where you should be in a survival mode and you can be grateful for that at least with them.

You have to soften your expression outwardly to being neutral and sometimes kind, instead of a negative scowl, and say more thankful and realistic thoughts. You may need a change in diet too if you eat too many acid foods, and stop lifting weights in anger or with heavy metal music that is stirring up a bad vibe if you do that as many guys do that. Its better to take the pain of lifting weights without such negative music if you are the type that does that, because many do is why I say it.
Lol that's great advice but you have never seen his face, speculation is just as bad.
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Old 09-17-2010, 07:03 PM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Most human beings are clowns. There is no justification for their behavior, they simply lack empathy. I could care less if I saw the people who have mistreated/disrespected you get their ****ing heads blown off.

Keep your head up, however you have to.
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Old 09-17-2010, 07:29 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Lol that's great advice but you have never seen his face, speculation is just as bad.
I disagree, you cannot show so many deep beliefs on so many issues, along with a temper and your desires, and thus show your chronic self-talk, and not have that chronic expression. I don't want to be seen as stirring anything up so I have deleted it.
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Old 09-17-2010, 08:05 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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I disagree, you cannot show so many deep beliefs on so many issues, along with a temper and your desires, and thus show your chronic self-talk, and not have that chronic expression. I don't want to be seen as stirring anything up so I have deleted it.
I think you're right.

I've been up and down lately - on the down days, when I feel pretty crappy physically and emotionally, it must come out in my body language and expressions, because people avoid even looking at me. But when I'm having a good day, and I feel good physically, people look at me more, and will sometimes even smile at me.

It's mostly out of conscious control - even if I try to smile at people when I'm feeling bad, it doesn't come across very well. It probably looks more like a grimace.
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Old 09-17-2010, 09:06 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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Most human beings are clowns. There is no justification for their behavior, they simply lack empathy. I could care less if I saw the people who have mistreated/disrespected you get their ****ing heads blown off.

Keep your head up, however you have to.
I wouldn't mind being the man pulling those triggers.
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Old 09-18-2010, 11:04 PM   #15 (permalink)
 
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I'm sorry for what I said.

It could be that what you are saying internally is projecting out and charging your "aura" so to speak in subtle facial expressions like a lack of even a slight smile when appropiate.

If you're depressed and angry plus smart, people can be turned off of your vibes plus jealous of you. Obviously the jealousy is their fault.
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Old 09-19-2010, 01:03 AM   #16 (permalink)
 
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didnt read but yeah people are *******s. Not only do they judge the first thing they ever hear you say but before you even speak based on what you are wearing, your body language, etc. I know i hate it too but i constantly find myself doing the same thing. Theres nothing you can do about it though... thats just how people are. I suppose you could make a conscious effort to not ever do it to people.
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Old 04-06-2011, 04:12 AM   #17 (permalink)
 
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I can relate to this. My family moved houses so I had to switch schools. In my Grade 8 year, people just make fun of me because of my hair. Its really cut short because I lived in a tropic country before migrating and I cut it short a lot. They call me names like "it'' because I have short hair. At first I didnt understand why anyone would do that. I don't speak in class either, I just go in, sit and try to focus which was very hard. Guys would throw paper balls at me and verbally abuse me. At the time I know english but cannot speak it clearly but I can understand everything. The thing is, everyone from my year constantly poke fun of me. Teachers are really crappy. They see it happen but don't do anything. People slam me on lockers and slap my books from my hands and I get isolated a lot. I developed a paranoia, where I couldnt trust anybody. There was one person that tried to approach me but I felt like it was a trap so I avoided her as much as possible. Really, it literally felt like hell. The bullying went on for the entire 8th year. If I think about it now, its really ridiculous. I could have tried to take that chance but I chose not to which resulted in my complete isolation. The good thing though was I lost a lot of weight cuz I couldnt sleep. At nights I would constantly think of suicidal thoughts and/or too scared to sleep peacefully. When I do, I get nightmares. I tried to convince my mom to move me out of that school LOTS of times. To the point where she got annoyed and wouldnt talk to me. I didnt share my problems with my parents. They had high expectations of me and I didnt want to disappoint them. I failed though since the grades came and screwed me over. I couldnt concentrate at school at all.

I moved schools for grade 9. In the previous one, it was only up till year 8, which was a good thing. I didnt want to be with them anymore. I relaly went out of my district to another school to avoid those people.

Its been a long while since Ive been at this school Im in right now, and I've managed to change my crappy past and made some friends. It's hard for me now to socialize. I can't seem to trust people that possesses the same characteristics as those in my previous school, so I tend to avoid talking to them. Im in this class and I have a friend to talk to but this one loud girl always makes fun of me. They whisper and look in my direction giving me the sense that I was the target which I generally ignored. I get really paranoid in that particular class. I think they're taking pictures of me since I heard a *snap* like when a camera snaps and snickers in my direction. They haven't spoken to me at all so I don't understand either why. I really dislike high school because of the popularity race going on. Even idiots make friends as long as they wear branded stuff. Im not sure how to confront them. The last time I confronted a bully, I got sacked so Im really scared.

Another class Im in: I get the sense that this teacher hates me. I got singled out in class and threatened to deduct 4% off for not "talking". I reasoned that other people do not talk in my group either but he insist that he will deduct if I dont. Mostly I think its because I dont seem to have someone to socialize with. I ended up sitting with the cocky popular kids because the rest were filled out so Im stuck there for the rest of the year. I really hate my teacher for doing this. Its not like Im the only one who is quiet the entire class. There is another guy that is quiet and he sits on a corner. Anyway, its obvious to me that the teacher is aware of the snickers in my direction and wants "in" on the "mainstream" so he takes his **** load off to me which, literally pleases the dick heads.

I dont understand. What was wrong with me? Am I bothering them with my silence? the teacher thinks so. If I do decide to try and talk though, the people at my table give each other looks and I know too well of. Its really so tiring. I dont want to deal with anymore of this.

I wanna start fresh. Start new, yknow? Im planning to change schools and houses next year if I cant find a solution to this. Lots of times I thought of killing them with a gun. But I dont know where to get one and if I do have one, I dont think I can shoot properly. Anyways. I dont want to be a killer cuz that would be stupid. But because of this frustration that I cant shrug off, its forcing me to think like this. And I hate it. So so much. I just want out.
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Old 04-06-2011, 07:42 AM   #18 (permalink)
 
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Life sucks for me and always has and probably will keep sucking, but I don't understand why people who haven't even spoken to me for five seconds hate me. Yesterday I was eating lunch at my aunt's house and she said "Some on your classmates' mothers have told me that a lot of people really dislike you" and I was shocked. Then my cousin said "yeah... even all your teachers hate you." I was so angry, I've never done anything bad to anyone, I barely speak to anyone because of my SA. I just go to class, sit down, and when the class ends I leave. I don't even talk. But on the exams I get 100s and I don't think people like that since I'm absent about 50% of the time because I hate school because I have no friends. My whole life I've been criticized for everything I do... if I stay home then they say I have no life, if I go out then they say I'm probably doing drugs or something, if I go to sleep late then it's bad, if I go to sleep early then I sleep too much, if I eat little then I'm annorexic, if I eat a lot then I'm a fat pig. I'm just tired of everyone talking **** without even knowing me. People envy that I have money but they have no idea how much I'd rather be poor and have what they have. People think I'm lucky because I am intelligent but have to idea that it has been one of the biggest curses in my life, it makes me so different. I've come to a point where nothing matters to me anymore, I don't care if I'm successful, if I go to college, if I wake up tomorrow. I mean, seriously what have I ever done to the people who hate me? I seriously never talk to anyone so I can't do anything, unless my silence hurts them or something. Almost every day I receive a rude comment from someone. I'm about to just burst and after a few more critics I'm just going to go crazy and say all the crap I can to their face to make them feel so miserable that they will want to kill themselves. I'm so angry!!! I'm not even afraid of death anymore since my life sucks so much, I used to be scared of earthquakes and volcanoes but now every time I feel a small quake I just say "I'm gonna die one day anyway." I'm just growing tired of all the bs. I'm thinking of entering Mixed Martial Arts and just ripping everyone in half, I need something to release my anger and stress. I have so much more I want to say but it's getting too long and most likely very few people will read this but I just needed to get it out. People need to walk a thousand miles in my shoes and then they might really know what it is like, it's not as easy as it seems. Fk all the haters.
The Martial Arts things sounds like a good idea to get some of that anger out. Be careful before saying your classmates don't like you instead of the impression that you make on them. Is it your SA that gets in the way of you talking to them in school? Or do you really dislike them? If you dislike them than it makes sense that they don't like you, right? People are easily hurt and your classmates might think you dislike them because you don't talk. They might be saying they dislike you because they think you dislike them. If they don't know you personally they cannot possibly be rejecting the "real you." Teachers and other adults are not always the brightest bulbs. If you are respectful and good student and they dislike you because you create the impression of a quiet person at school then it is their loss. Believe me, teachers are not always right.
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Old 11-22-2011, 08:46 PM   #19 (permalink)
 
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I think if you don't talk to anyone in class people will think your stuck up. That's just my opinion. People are a little dumb. I have been hated my whole life too. Well I'm praying for God to help me make some friends. Life is tough. Be your own friend. Make yourself busy with your hobbies. Talk nice to yourself.. its hard
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Old 11-23-2011, 12:01 AM   #20 (permalink)
 
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ok i am really sorry for what u are going through i dont kno what it is like for u so this comment might not help much. if people hate u then u dont need them in ur life anyways im sure if u looked and tried to find people then ud see that not everyone are complete jerks and i dont think u should listen to gossip because it might just be lies if u havent done anything for people to hate u for then theres no reason they should hate you. now please dont do anything drastic things will get better after highschool then u wont even have to see those people again and ull be free try to ignor them and just take care of urself ok cause ur life matters
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