I too struggle with this same scenario for my entire life. I was very unpopular in school, and people are always angry with me. I play by the book, I follow the rules, I abide the law. And most everything that I say and do is logical and efficient. I am a female, a Network Engineer, and somewhat of a Type A personality. I do everything "the right way". It never crosses my mind to cheat on my husband, Im at work on time, if I make a promise- I keep it, I am dependable and trustwrthy. Yet, in spite of all of these qualities, people STILL dislike me and I am not sure why. I mull it over time and again. I don't let people play games with me though...like guilt trips and etc. I don;t give people positive reactions for negative actions. I also don't play games with people and I say what I mean and mean what I say.. but I find that people often read or interpret alterior motives or insults into very simple things that I say when NONE was intended. I often find that people are too easily falsely flattered by smooth words and sentiments, and "sugar coating" and going 10 miles around the bush to say something smiple. And I find that a lot of people are into "mind games". I am more of a direct person - but I am not mean or hateful. Sometimes I bluntly and calmly say somehting to someone, and you would think that Id slapped them... but the same person I've seen react more humbly when someone yelled and cursed at them. It's like no one knows how to handle or react to being told something either withoutyelling and angry cursing - or by a massive amount of sweet talking. Im neither of those extremes.. I say what i have to say and keep moving.
In some of the other folks scenarios above.. I see for example.. a person described a situation where a girl flirted with him and he wasn't sure how to flirt back, and she became angry. Well, my first inclinatin is: why did she become angry? Is she insecure? Did she assume or know that you are single or available? Why did she not assume that maybe he did not know how to flirt back, or that he got her signals, or that he was or was not interested? I take it that she assumed that he was not interested and she became angry... and that makes me wonder why is this person so insecure? Why does she feel the need that this man MUST like her, otherwise feel the wrath of her anger? I personally would not want to be dating a person like that because it seems to me that they would be a tremendous emotional burden on a constant basis. One of the types that questions you as soon as you get home, "why didn't you call me today? what were you doing? Oh I guess you don't love me? I uess you don't think enough about me to call at least ONCE today?" and gets angry about not receiving a single phone call.. when you were busy at work or something.
A lot of people I find to be extremely emotionally needy and insecure.
Having said that: I wonder if I am insecure? Otherwise why would I be on this forum second guessing myself to the point that I have sought out online support from this community? I feel pretty secure and confident in most aspects. I grew up taunted in school as I have albinism. Im used to being an outcast, stared at, hated for no reason (so being disliked isn't really a threat to me).. but still my family instilled a lot of confidence in me, and I am a winner in life. I am educated, smart, and successful. I dont always know how to act in public, or know what to say, and I often feel awkward. However, I am genuine and straight forward. I don't feel the need to go out of my way to stroke people's egos for no reason, or to give them credit for things which they clearly do not deserve.
So I am still struggling with figuring out.. is it me.. or is it "them"?
ANywayone else here shares these same traits, or thoughts? Am I normal.. or mentally disturbed?