Social Anxiety Support

Georgina 22 · 11-02-2009, 01:23 AM

Sometimes I like to go to the places with someone coz i just feel weird going on my own. Like on friday, we went food shopping and afterwards we went to the car park to our car and then i realised I forgot to draw out some money from the cash machine, so i would have to go back to through the supermarket and outside to the outside cash machine. But I didn't want to go on my own, I asked my dad if he could come with me.

On Saturday we went out and I had to pop into the pet store to go to get some stuff for my pets. My parents wanted me to go into the store on my own whilst they wait in the car, but I didn't want to go on my own. Instead my mum came in with me.

Sometimes my dad says "What are you going to do when we ain't here to come with you?" That's something you have to think about."
I just say, well hopefully by then I'll be in a relationship and I will be able to do things with my boyfriend etc."

But I know when I no longer have my parents anymore, I dunno what I'll do, because I rely on them too much. My sister's alright her life is sorted, she's got a fiance, getting married. So she won't be on her own but then she can go places confidently on her own, she has too because she goes to uni, lives in a house with housemates and lives like 2 hours away from home. Me I live at home, rely on my parents too much and have no job, no life.

I just know I won't get myself a boyfriend, I'll be on my own all my life. And what makes me worried and panic is that I'll have to work hard now to get myself someone so that when I no longer have my parents anymore, I won't be alone.
And I gotta start going and doing things for myself, so even if I don't have a boyfriend/husband etc. I can still do things confidently on my own. But SA makes it hard. *sigh*

anyone else rely on their parents too much and often likes to go places with them or someone.

ShyViolet · 11-02-2009, 01:48 AM

I'm 29 and embarrassed to say my parents still do pretty much everything for me. One time my father made a phone call for me and they actually told him I was old enough to call myself. Ugh.

I often get the question "What are you going to do when we're goine?" I honestly don't know how I will survive. The big S word will probably seem all the more tempting, but I don't have the guts to go through with that.

Alys · 11-02-2009, 06:48 AM

yeah I can relate..makes me feel like a little kid.. :-(

mind_games · 11-02-2009, 06:59 AM

I might throw a small party. A party of one, but a party none the less.

rcapo89 · 11-02-2009, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Georgina 22

Sometimes I like to go to the places with someone coz i just feel weird going on my own. Like on friday, we went food shopping and afterwards we went to the car park to our car and then i realised I forgot to draw out some money from the cash machine, so i would have to go back to through the supermarket and outside to the outside cash machine. But I didn't want to go on my own, I asked my dad if he could come with me.

On Saturday we went out and I had to pop into the pet store to go to get some stuff for my pets. My parents wanted me to go into the store on my own whilst they wait in the car, but I didn't want to go on my own. Instead my mum came in with me.

Sometimes my dad says "What are you going to do when we ain't here to come with you?" That's something you have to think about."
I just say, well hopefully by then I'll be in a relationship and I will be able to do things with my boyfriend etc."

But I know when I no longer have my parents anymore, I dunno what I'll do, because I rely on them too much. My sister's alright her life is sorted, she's got a fiance, getting married. So she won't be on her own but then she can go places confidently on her own, she has too because she goes to uni, lives in a house with housemates and lives like 2 hours away from home. Me I live at home, rely on my parents too much and have no job, no life.

I just know I won't get myself a boyfriend, I'll be on my own all my life. And what makes me worried and panic is that I'll have to work hard now to get myself someone so that when I no longer have my parents anymore, I won't be alone.
And I gotta start going and doing things for myself, so even if I don't have a boyfriend/husband etc. I can still do things confidently on my own. But SA makes it hard. *sigh*

anyone else rely on their parents too much and often likes to go places with them or someone.

Wow this is the story of my life. I'm 20 and still live with my parents and am completly dependent on them. I am 20 years old and I STILL don't have my driver's lisence. Since I have no friends or job I have no need to drive anywhere by myself.
My Dad has been pressuring me to take the driver's exam.

Black_Widow · 11-02-2009, 09:03 AM

Sorry to hear about your situation. Very much appreciate what that must be like.
I'm very much reliant on my parents at the moment too. Because I can't work because of my problems, and (even though the situation will be changing to a certain degree in the New Year for me) as a result I'm still reliant on them for a roof over my head and financial support at the age of 28 years old just now. And also quite often rely on my mum to come some places with me. And as for the comment "what will you do when we're not here anymore" my parents have said similiar type things to me before too. But much as I appreciate where they come from, and it's something that also worries me alot at times, it also has annoyed me at times in the past when my mum has brought it up to me as if she thought my SA problem was something I should be over in five minutes and something that I chose to have out of choice to cause her an inconvenience - and it's very much come across before that she's deliberately said such things to me to give me a guilt trip. Because she didn't know how to handle what was going on with me. It would really get to me. Especially as since I first couldn't work regularly (back around the end of 2006/start of 2007) because of my problems I've been doing all I can in an attempt to get over them and be better. But it's been far from a quick or straightforward process, and much of that has been down to factors outside of my control. Still luckily for me my parents are much more supportive and understanding than they were. Over time I think they've come to appreciate my point of view alot more than they did at one point, as now they don't tend to bring that kind of thing up.

shadowguy · 11-02-2009, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rcapo89

Wow this is the story of my life. I'm 20 and still live with my parents and am completly dependent on them. I am 20 years old and I STILL don't have my driver's lisence. Since I have no friends or job I have no need to drive anywhere by myself.
My Dad has been pressuring me to take the driver's exam.

I have my driver's license but I still can't drive myself anywhere! I spent a little while practicing and studying for written test then passed everything while it was fresh on my mind, but I still feel really inexperienced to drive on my own. The driving part of test was too short and easy. I'm trying to get enough practice to feel confident enough to drive on my own...

epril · 11-02-2009, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Georgina 22

Sometimes I like to go to the places with someone coz i just feel weird going on my own. Like on friday, we went food shopping and afterwards we went to the car park to our car and then i realised I forgot to draw out some money from the cash machine, so i would have to go back to through the supermarket and outside to the outside cash machine. But I didn't want to go on my own, I asked my dad if he could come with me.

On Saturday we went out and I had to pop into the pet store to go to get some stuff for my pets. My parents wanted me to go into the store on my own whilst they wait in the car, but I didn't want to go on my own. Instead my mum came in with me.

Sometimes my dad says "What are you going to do when we ain't here to come with you?" That's something you have to think about."
I just say, well hopefully by then I'll be in a relationship and I will be able to do things with my boyfriend etc."

But I know when I no longer have my parents anymore, I dunno what I'll do, because I rely on them too much. My sister's alright her life is sorted, she's got a fiance, getting married. So she won't be on her own but then she can go places confidently on her own, she has too because she goes to uni, lives in a house with housemates and lives like 2 hours away from home. Me I live at home, rely on my parents too much and have no job, no life.

I just know I won't get myself a boyfriend, I'll be on my own all my life. And what makes me worried and panic is that I'll have to work hard now to get myself someone so that when I no longer have my parents anymore, I won't be alone.
And I gotta start going and doing things for myself, so even if I don't have a boyfriend/husband etc. I can still do things confidently on my own. But SA makes it hard. *sigh*

anyone else rely on their parents too much and often likes to go places with them or someone.

I enjoy going places on my own most of the time. When I start to ruminate about how different I am, I get lonely and self hate.

I wish your parents would tell you if you want the cat supplies, you need to go in alone to get them, and stick to it. I think you would go into the store alone because you love your pets so much and want to take care of them no matter how uncomfortable you are.

Prakas · 11-02-2009, 09:45 AM

I'm kind of the opposite. Me and my mom split bills and all that. However, she and our dog are the only reason I haven't taken my own life. No other reasons for me to be here honestly. She wouldn't be able to manage without me (financially), so it would be too selfish of me to do such a thing. Trying to change it, but its rough.

11-02-2009, 01:23 AM	#1 (permalink)
Georgina 22 Status: wants to be anxiety-free Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: In my little shell lol Gender: Female Posts: 602	Parents: "what are you gonna do when we aren't here anymore." Sometimes I like to go to the places with someone coz i just feel weird going on my own. Like on friday, we went food shopping and afterwards we went to the car park to our car and then i realised I forgot to draw out some money from the cash machine, so i would have to go back to through the supermarket and outside to the outside cash machine. But I didn't want to go on my own, I asked my dad if he could come with me. On Saturday we went out and I had to pop into the pet store to go to get some stuff for my pets. My parents wanted me to go into the store on my own whilst they wait in the car, but I didn't want to go on my own. Instead my mum came in with me. Sometimes my dad says "What are you going to do when we ain't here to come with you?" That's something you have to think about." I just say, well hopefully by then I'll be in a relationship and I will be able to do things with my boyfriend etc." But I know when I no longer have my parents anymore, I dunno what I'll do, because I rely on them too much. My sister's alright her life is sorted, she's got a fiance, getting married. So she won't be on her own but then she can go places confidently on her own, she has too because she goes to uni, lives in a house with housemates and lives like 2 hours away from home. Me I live at home, rely on my parents too much and have no job, no life. I just know I won't get myself a boyfriend, I'll be on my own all my life. And what makes me worried and panic is that I'll have to work hard now to get myself someone so that when I no longer have my parents anymore, I won't be alone. And I gotta start going and doing things for myself, so even if I don't have a boyfriend/husband etc. I can still do things confidently on my own. But SA makes it hard. sigh anyone else rely on their parents too much and often likes to go places with them or someone.

11-02-2009, 06:59 AM	#4 (permalink)
mind_games Status: dances, like a fridge Join Date: Nov 2008 Age: 23 Posts: 1,571	I might throw a small party. A party of one, but a party none the less. __________________ "this is not me, this is me reacting to your perception of me"

11-02-2009, 01:48 AM	#2 (permalink)
ShyViolet Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Gender: Female Age: 29 Posts: 1,942	I'm 29 and embarrassed to say my parents still do pretty much everything for me. One time my father made a phone call for me and they actually told him I was old enough to call myself. Ugh. I often get the question "What are you going to do when we're goine?" I honestly don't know how I will survive. The big S word will probably seem all the more tempting, but I don't have the guts to go through with that.

11-02-2009, 06:48 AM	#3 (permalink)
Alys Status: mind bogglingly imperfect Join Date: Oct 2009 Gender: Female Age: 21 Posts: 86	yeah I can relate..makes me feel like a little kid.. :-(

11-02-2009, 09:03 AM	#6 (permalink)
Black_Widow Status: SAS Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: South-East London, UK Gender: Female Age: 28 Posts: 928	Sorry to hear about your situation. Very much appreciate what that must be like. I'm very much reliant on my parents at the moment too. Because I can't work because of my problems, and (even though the situation will be changing to a certain degree in the New Year for me) as a result I'm still reliant on them for a roof over my head and financial support at the age of 28 years old just now. And also quite often rely on my mum to come some places with me. And as for the comment "what will you do when we're not here anymore" my parents have said similiar type things to me before too. But much as I appreciate where they come from, and it's something that also worries me alot at times, it also has annoyed me at times in the past when my mum has brought it up to me as if she thought my SA problem was something I should be over in five minutes and something that I chose to have out of choice to cause her an inconvenience - and it's very much come across before that she's deliberately said such things to me to give me a guilt trip. Because she didn't know how to handle what was going on with me. It would really get to me. Especially as since I first couldn't work regularly (back around the end of 2006/start of 2007) because of my problems I've been doing all I can in an attempt to get over them and be better. But it's been far from a quick or straightforward process, and much of that has been down to factors outside of my control. Still luckily for me my parents are much more supportive and understanding than they were. Over time I think they've come to appreciate my point of view alot more than they did at one point, as now they don't tend to bring that kind of thing up.

11-02-2009, 09:45 AM	#9 (permalink)
Prakas Status: Failure - Life Sucks Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Delaware Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 434	I'm kind of the opposite. Me and my mom split bills and all that. However, she and our dog are the only reason I haven't taken my own life. No other reasons for me to be here honestly. She wouldn't be able to manage without me (financially), so it would be too selfish of me to do such a thing. Trying to change it, but its rough.