Social Anxiety Support

AndyLT · 11-03-2009, 11:22 AM

I left my parents about a year ago, but I visit them on a regular basis.

From the surface, it may look that I'm wasting my life completely. I work at home, I don't have a GF, I spend most of my time at home.

This situation alone can drain all the energy needed to continue studying SA and self-discipline. But to make things worse, my parents remind me, time to time, about my misery life, by saying something like:

"All normal people are working with other people", "Don't be like me, don't waste your life", "Why don't you become a doctor?"

They don't know how much energy is needed to lead just a daily life...

And I see such remarks as my failure to meet their expectations. As if I'm not a "good enough" son.

Any advice?

Moon Calf · 11-03-2009, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AndyLT

Any advice?

Ignore them. You can't live your life for your parents.

AndyLT · 11-03-2009, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moon Calf

Ignore them. You can't live your life for your parents.

I like this advice.

00Athena00 · 11-03-2009, 11:35 AM

Be honest with them and call them out on how their comments make you feel. You are doing amazingly well for someone with SA. It took me years before I could move out and function on my own. They need to understand that what you are doing now is a huge accomplishment and they need to find a better way to encourage you.

I don't think their remarks are meant to hurt you, but if you give them some perspective they may be able to give you more constructive advice.

AndyLT · 11-03-2009, 12:05 PM

Thanks, Athena and polythene. Some helpful insight.

I also did some reflections on the paper now and I see that part of frustration comes from wanting to cure SA badly and knowing that it requires time. My parents were like a social mirror to me.

Anyways, I feel way better now.

Dempsey · 11-03-2009, 11:59 PM

My parents aren't happy, they're terrible with money, they couldn't help me with my SA as a child. I try not to take what they say close to heart.

I do respect what they say but not on this.

11-03-2009, 11:22 AM	#1 (permalink)
AndyLT Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Age: 24 Posts: 573	Parents making it worse I left my parents about a year ago, but I visit them on a regular basis. From the surface, it may look that I'm wasting my life completely. I work at home, I don't have a GF, I spend most of my time at home. This situation alone can drain all the energy needed to continue studying SA and self-discipline. But to make things worse, my parents remind me, time to time, about my misery life, by saying something like: "All normal people are working with other people", "Don't be like me, don't waste your life", "Why don't you become a doctor?" They don't know how much energy is needed to lead just a daily life... And I see such remarks as my failure to meet their expectations. As if I'm not a "good enough" son. Any advice? __________________ Momentum is now.

11-03-2009, 12:05 PM	#5 (permalink)
AndyLT Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Age: 24 Posts: 573	Thanks, Athena and polythene. Some helpful insight. I also did some reflections on the paper now and I see that part of frustration comes from wanting to cure SA badly and knowing that it requires time. My parents were like a social mirror to me. Anyways, I feel way better now. __________________ Momentum is now.

11-03-2009, 11:35 AM	#4 (permalink)
00Athena00 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Iowa Gender: Female Age: 24 Posts: 86	Be honest with them and call them out on how their comments make you feel. You are doing amazingly well for someone with SA. It took me years before I could move out and function on my own. They need to understand that what you are doing now is a huge accomplishment and they need to find a better way to encourage you. I don't think their remarks are meant to hurt you, but if you give them some perspective they may be able to give you more constructive advice.

11-03-2009, 11:59 PM	#6 (permalink)
Dempsey Status: SAS Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Sydney Australia Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 637	My parents aren't happy, they're terrible with money, they couldn't help me with my SA as a child. I try not to take what they say close to heart. I do respect what they say but not on this.