Overbearing mother - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-14-2011, 04:44 PM Thread Starter
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Overbearing mother

As a SA sufferer I can say that I feel distant from most people, including my family. My mother loves me and I understand that but she always seems to have a leash on my compared to other parents I see, and it's really been causing to withdraw from her and others.

She watches the news often and she feels the need to lecture me on every news story. Apparently to her if I post a picture of myself on FaceBook it'll result in someone identifying me and coming to my house and killing me. I have little friends, only 4 and never had a girlfriend. Whenever the phone bill comes in she interigates me and asks about every unfamiliar number she sees. I knew kids in high school who's phonebills were in the thousands and an extra 0.20 cents is enough to make her furious.

I was once afraid to tell a teacher about a bullying problem and she laughed in my face and called me a "spineless jellyfish". I'm 18 and I'll be starting my second semester of college but as lucrative as my job is (well to me anyway) I can't afraid to move out. I'm the black sheep of my family, I barely talk at family gatherings at isolate myself because of SA. I love them, but I just can't express myself well. If I move out I may become a hermit due to independence, SA and abscence of anyone else if I do buy/rent a place.
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-14-2011, 09:40 PM
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My mother is extremely overbearing as well. It's distanced several members of the family but Im by far the most vocal on it! So I traveled again, and came to the conclusion of living homelessly for a bit. That's what I was gonna do, man. Ditch my car for the beginning of the summer and travel the west coast with a backpack and my djembe. Would have been awesome, but truth is we live in a fascist police state, and now everything in my life's been consumed by a felony possession charge! Being homeless can actually be pretty cool, but you gotta be mindful. Do you want money and college to be the determining factors in your life right now, or could this time be better spent? What do you need?
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-14-2011, 10:59 PM
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Only way is to move out man. I'm in a similar situation (I'm 21) with my ma, however her constant FBI like moves are far more justified then yours. (Been a drug addict since 15, have been caught several times, still use, do the maths ;P )

What I plan on doing, after I get another dead-end job, is teaming up with some other junkie friends of mine and getting a cheap place. Think Trainspotting I guess?

However in your situation her actions seem... well, strange. Either you keep your mouth shut and continue counting every last cent till you can afford that $500 a month apartment or you have a REAL conversation with her.

Unfortanantly for you she seems like the type of mother to resort to yelling/screaming instead of being capable of having a rational and productive conversation... so...

Best of luck
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-15-2011, 02:54 AM
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I got kicked out of my house for not showing my mom my text messages.

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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-15-2011, 03:08 AM
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Sounds like the connections between individuals in your family may benefit from professional therapy and the knowledge of someone versed in human behavior and psychology.

On the other hand you could bide your time until you're capable of living on your own, and then you don't have to deal with her. (at least not to such an extreme)
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 06-16-2011, 11:52 PM
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I have issues with my mother and family also. I have a hard time standing up for myself against my sister and not be manipulated into doing and saying things I don't want to with my mother.
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