No-one ever shows interest in me. I'm always the one asking the questions. - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 02:11 PM Thread Starter
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No-one ever shows interest in me. I'm always the one asking the questions.

Overall I'm new to working as I've worked about a year, but I've had two jobs. In both I feel none of my coworkers ever really were interested in me. I was always the one talking with them about their lives. If I ever came out with a funny/interesting thing that happened, they'd more-or-less give it a brief response and drop it there. People seem to treat me like that overall. In-fact, in my current job it shocked me when one of the girls started actually asking me questions, I felt like it'd been years almost. Not even my friends really care what I've been doing, we just meet up and do things. It just sucks honestly
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 05:22 PM
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u should make up weird stuff and see how they react that's what i do
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-20-2017, 11:53 PM
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Most people are more inclined to talk about themselves. I mean we are stuck with ourselves 24/7, whom knows us better than us?

I find myself similar. If I am ever in a conversation, my usage of personal pronouns is inordinate but I always try to catch myself and let the other person speak. We could learn so much if we actually cared to listen to others and inquire about them.

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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 12:07 AM
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I suppose a reason could be that people jump from jobs all the time these days. We dont really get a job and get stuck there with the same people for 30 years anymore like past generations. Its intense and kind of...pointless to get to know your coworkers? Idk what job you have, but i live next door to a job that changes workers all the time. They get other jobs, start studying, get moved to another place...pretty rare for anyone to stay longer than a year.

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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 02:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fangirl96 View Post
I suppose a reason could be that people jump from jobs all the time these days. We dont really get a job and get stuck there with the same people for 30 years anymore like past generations. Its intense and kind of...pointless to get to know your coworkers? Idk what job you have, but i live next door to a job that changes workers all the time. They get other jobs, start studying, get moved to another place...pretty rare for anyone to stay longer than a year.
Yeah pretty much this. But still, some people know how to peak other's interest, whereas others get overlooked.
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 03:02 AM
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I agree OP, it's as if they simply don't want to invest in knowing me.

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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 07:58 AM
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I know that feeling.

First few weeks at uni were frustrating. I didn't live on campus, had to commute from home, but I made a really big effort to talk to people that first month in class and in lectures and most of the people I talked to seemed quite disinterested which knocked my confidence a lot. I initiated conversations with a lot of people but not one person initiated with me. I figured they just lived their lives in the student halls. That first year was really lonely.

Luckily a year later, I started to talk to my now ex-girlfriend and from then on I was living the most exciting 2 years of my life. It just changed like that -- it was amazing. Though, since we've broken up I have to start from zero again. Heh...

I guess what I learned is just to keep trying.
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 08:32 AM
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Yep. Story of my life: this thread.

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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 08:54 AM
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It sucks for me, since I never know what to ask people.
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 09:07 AM
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Originally Posted by Plasma View Post
It sucks for me, since I never know what to ask people.
As simple and boring as it sounds, small talk can sometimes branch out to other topics, and if not, at least it shows you're happy to talk to them.

Stuff like weather, weekend plans, how you're feeling etc.
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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 09:29 AM
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Yeah, that kind of situation just leads to one way friendships. I sometimes don't mind it though, I find it worse though when people ask questions to me in a group setting and I struggle to answer or just end telling lies just because I can't think of anything to say about myself that's true.
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-21-2017, 11:37 AM
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Originally Posted by Pieguy22 View Post
Overall I'm new to working as I've worked about a year, but I've had two jobs. In both I feel none of my coworkers ever really were interested in me. I was always the one talking with them about their lives. If I ever came out with a funny/interesting thing that happened, they'd more-or-less give it a brief response and drop it there. People seem to treat me like that overall. In-fact, in my current job it shocked me when one of the girls started actually asking me questions, I felt like it'd been years almost. Not even my friends really care what I've been doing, we just meet up and do things. It just sucks honestly
It does suck. I would actually look at your body language also. A lot of your communication is non-verbal, so you can say all the right things but not in the best way.

You may come off as too pushy even though you don't think you did. Or the other possibility is they are just too different from you.

I would also suggest not getting too close too fast. People might feel overwhelmed.
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