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Old 11-09-2008, 03:46 PM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default No joy in life...

Hi all,

I'm 32 and by most standards my life isn't bad, not bad at all. I'm not rich but I'm not poor either. I have a fairly comfortable life, despite having to work 9-19 as a tipical IT cubicle worker in the rat race. My house isn't so bad, my car is fun, I have a girlfriend. I'm fairly healthy.

But yet, I feel tired all the time, lacking motivation. I always have this sense that I should be doing something else and that I'm wasting my life. My work is considered skilled but it is boring and doesn't seem to have much to do with me, but I have to do it because I have bills to pay.

This could describe many of us.

The problem is that I realize that i have a hard time feeling pleasure/joy/fulfillment even when I'm in my free time. I have few friends (mostly due do SA) and just don't explore many things in life, either because they provoke some anxiety or because I just don't feel motivate to do it.

I feel cursed because I think am I am able to spot excellence in others and realize what i am missing, I can even feel what I should be doing, but my energy, motivation, hope and optimism are always so low that I never get to do much.

I try to focus on the fact that I'm not unhealthy. I've been visiting a friend, my age, with leukemia.. and it makes me think that I should be grateful for my life.. I really should. Unfortunately, despite realizing that it could be a lot, lot worse, it doesn't seem to help me enjoy what I have.

I feel as if i'm having good food, better than the one served to many around me, but yet, I cannot taste it at all.

Despite the terrible side effects of Paroxetine (the only SSRI I've tried, for 6 months in 2004) I'm started to feel tempted to try it again... I know I will regret it, but I just miss that feeling of indifference it seemed to provide. Brought no happiness or joy at all, but at least, I didn't feel unfulfilled or empty either, just indifferent, in a zombieish kind of way... which now doesn't seem all that bad...

Sorry for any mistakes.. not a native english speaker.
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Old 11-10-2008, 02:52 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
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Originally Posted by beo1 View Post
...I just miss that feeling of indifference it seemed to provide. Brought no happiness or joy at all, but at least, I didn't feel unfulfilled or empty either, just indifferent, in a zombieish kind of way... which now doesn't seem all that bad...
I can relate. Simply feeling nothing would be an improvement over the unhappiness & anxiety that fills most of my waking hours.

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Sorry for any mistakes.. not a native English speaker.
Don't worry. Your English is excellent and if you didn't tell me I'd never guess you weren't a native speaker. That you work "9-19" is the only thing an American wouldn't say; only our military would deem 19 a time.
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Desperately I have searched for a meaning
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Old 11-10-2008, 07:46 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Feeling "indifferent" brings no joy either. Can't win if you ask me.

Deb
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Old 11-10-2008, 08:35 AM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Default Your Life DOES NOT Have to be like this!

I feel for you. I had felt that way. Honestly, I do know, and am living, my title--Your life DOES NOT have to be like that. Myself and some of my family have a variety of biochemical imbalances--ocd, social anxiety, depression, anxiety, and have come to find individually that the RIGHT medication, starting slowly, and perhaps trying a few, that takes a dedicated PSYCHATRIST, and support, a counselor, social worker, or psychologist, to meet with to help work through your issues, your feelings, someone to validate you, WALK AROUND WITH YOU. Sometimes you have to try a few medications, and it takes a while for them to kick in, so perhaps something else short term, until the SSRI meds do. Also, find someone empathetic that will get to know you. Learning new ways to look at things, to challenge yourself in a postive way, to be able to diminsh that get stuck feeling, which is tormenting, you can live a better life. I am on zoloft 200mgm and it has made a huge difference in my life. One of the most important things is getting an accurate diagnosis from the psychiatrist, so the correct medications can be can be prescribed. I work on refuting irrational thoughts and ideas and taking healthy risks to fight against my fears. I feel proud when I accomplish it and the medication helps me to take action. I wish you all the best. Write back with any questions or thoughts.
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Old 05-12-2011, 12:40 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
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Default I completely understand

I am going through the same thing, and i feel stuck not moving forward. Like you, i know things could be worst, but i just can help myself, i feel hopeless sometimes. I completely understand what ur going through. U r not alone.
Take care.
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Old 05-18-2011, 02:01 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
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Agreed. There are so many things I want to do but I am afraid to do them alone. The years of just breathing but not living have really taken a toll on my excitement for life and motivation. I don't find fun in the little things... I rarely am happy. The last time I felt happy was when I was drunk downtown but this was just a false happiness. IMO, I may never experience a profound happiness but more of a motivation to keep living. I don't believe this condition will ever allow me to reach true happiness but rather *hopefully* a contentment with myself and my life.
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Old 08-23-2012, 08:01 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hollyeeee View Post
I feel for you. I had felt that way. Honestly, I do know, and am living, my title--Your life DOES NOT have to be like that. Myself and some of my family have a variety of biochemical imbalances--ocd, social anxiety, depression, anxiety, and have come to find individually that the RIGHT medication, starting slowly, and perhaps trying a few, that takes a dedicated PSYCHATRIST, and support, a counselor, social worker, or psychologist, to meet with to help work through your issues, your feelings, someone to validate you, WALK AROUND WITH YOU. Sometimes you have to try a few medications, and it takes a while for them to kick in, so perhaps something else short term, until the SSRI meds do. Also, find someone empathetic that will get to know you. Learning new ways to look at things, to challenge yourself in a postive way, to be able to diminsh that get stuck feeling, which is tormenting, you can live a better life. I am on zoloft 200mgm and it has made a huge difference in my life. One of the most important things is getting an accurate diagnosis from the psychiatrist, so the correct medications can be can be prescribed. I work on refuting irrational thoughts and ideas and taking healthy risks to fight against my fears. I feel proud when I accomplish it and the medication helps me to take action. I wish you all the best. Write back with any questions or thoughts.
But it isn't "in my head" it's real. It's like I know I am going to be slapped some number of times every day. I just don't know when or where... but it will happen. Meds can't fix reality.
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Old 08-23-2012, 09:18 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
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this reminds me of no joy in mudville you tube it great song.
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Old 08-23-2012, 02:42 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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I totally understand. I want to do so much, and make a "difference," but I'm all thinking about it, and none doing it. I have absolutely no motivation for anything anymore, and I just lounge around my house eating food and watching television, dreading the start of my sophomore year of college, yet envisioning a bright and successful future for myself. I have no passion or zeal for life anymore, or anything, and when I hear or read about people who've done great things, it really hits me. I may dream about accomplishing all that stuff, but it's probably never going to happen without a miracle.
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Old 08-23-2012, 02:51 PM   #10 (permalink)
 
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I know what you mean,it feels like an awful struggle and then you die.
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Old 07-16-2013, 11:26 AM   #11 (permalink)
 
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Default Try to enjoy your life!

HI,

I can really feel how you are! I had the same thing and then I got a real bad depression.

Now I am over it! I changed nearly everything in my life. I went to live in a new city and have a new job now. I was in the IT too. Now I am a teacher. In teaching I found my real happiness I think.

But I don't just want to live for work. So I go travel very often. See new things, try new things. Don't be too scary! I tried new sports. I made a course for cooking, yoga and dancing.

My life now is completly different like it was 6 years before. And I can say I am really happy now! I enjoy my life now. And I think that is because I really found what I love doing. Like in work and my freetime.

It is so important to have fun, joy and happiness in life! Enjoy your life? Try out new things! Don't be too scared! What can happen? Before I nearly never traveled because I was so feared; in the past 4 years I went to India, Costa Rica, Thailand, Mexico and Indonesia. And already planing another trip to Nepal.

Go out and live! Motivate yourself! Our earth is with so much beauty, joy and happiness. You just have to see it and pick it up!

I found a very good site about different joys you can do. Maybe that is something for you to get an idea: http://e-njoy.us
They also publish articles about life, tips and so on. I found it very useful.

A friend of me made a page about how to be happy and enjoy life, maybe that can help you too: http://www.squidoo.com/how-to-be-hap...enjoy-the-life

I wish you good luck and find the joy in your life! You just have one, enjoy it!
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Old 07-16-2013, 01:34 PM   #12 (permalink)
 
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Whoa, who necro'd this thread? Is the Op even still on this site? this thread was created over 5 years ago and he only has 11 posts.......'
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Old 07-16-2013, 01:42 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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Whoa, who necro'd this thread? Is the Op even still on this site? this thread was created over 5 years ago and he only has 11 posts.......'
Lol. Yea he's probably long gone
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Old 07-16-2013, 02:55 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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Sorry I was searching in google about social anxiety and came to this thread. I wanted to answer it because I wanted to help, but I did not see that the thread is so old...

Sorry for that, but maybe I can help others, so I am looking here for more actual threads
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Old 11-20-2013, 11:17 AM   #15 (permalink)
 
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Hi, I feel the same way I feel like I have no joy in life. I have social anxiety, depression, and general anxiety. There are so many things in my life that I'm grateful for! so many. When it comes to having joy though I really feel like I just don't have it. I remember when I was a teenager I used to wish I would get cancer and have only maybe a year left to live so I could have time to say goodbye to my family and apologize for I've done wrong and than just be done with dealing with my hopelessness. Anyone who has cancer or know someone who has please dont be offended I have no idea how awful it must be and I shouldn't wish for things like thst but I've changed my view sonce than. I have children and I dont want a terminal illness anymore! I dont want to die I just want joy :-(. Everybody says count your blessings and I think that is a good thing to do, and to pray to God.
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