Let me tell you my story.English isn't my main language so apologize for any spelling mistakes.
I met this girl in a game.At first sight,I hadn't know our friendship would be serious,it was just a normal talking here and now.Time went by and we started to talk to eachother more frequently,getting to know eachother more and things like that.So frequently,that from morning,till midnight (unless she had to go bed earlier) we were always talking.Sharing our stories or just simply talking about anything.Then,once in a week,she would just send some photos she made of herself for ME
,just to make me happy.
This is the time when I felt,our friendship might be serious,and I was happy I found her.She cared about me.She missed me if we couldn't talk for 2 days.She always told me I am her best friend.I could always count on her,because she helped me if I was depressed.So yeah,I felt I found someone like me.
But ofcourse she had a life too,and she went to a vacation in august for 2 weeks.While she was away,I was feeling lonely,and thinking "how am I going to survive without her?Now I got noone to talk with."Days and days passed,and then eventually after 2 weeks she came back.When I saw her coming to MSN,I was like OH GOD.IT'S HER!Literally after 2 seconds she wrote to me.Telling it was a great vacation,and she missed me very much.And I began crying.I was crying with joy.I felt weird,because I have never cried with joy before.
So that was in august,everything going great.A month passed by,we are at september.After not seeing her for 3 days,I was worried.She came to MSN with a message next to her name stating she had died.I was like,"Eh?Dead?She logged in to the game this day,so she can't be dead"I immediately wrote to her,asking what's her problem.No reply.Then I told her I know she was there,no need to do fake AFK.No reply.I said to her "the thing you are doing now is not right,can't you realise you are hurting the other's feelings?"Then finally,she replied saying "Sorry,I guess I am an attention seeker."I told her you need to stop it,because it's not funny,then she logged off.I was very surprised but at the same time I wanted to help her,because she was my best friend,I couldn't be calm knowing my friend has a problem.but she refused to accept my help.
Days,weeks,months went by,I was feeling more lonely and depressed.At october,she wrote me on MSN while offline saying "I'm missing you,I feel so dead." I thought to myself:"Great,if you are missing me,then why the hell you aren't coming to MSN,so I can help you?"
Another month passed by,and in mid-november,I logged in to the game to see if she is there,and holy cow,she was!(She wasn't playing for months) We both were happy to see eachother,and she gave me her new MSN address.She made a new one,because she felt ashamed what she did to other people with the "I'm dead" stuff.
Two weeks went by,I am happy to be with her again.But again something happened...Here we are at the present.The last time she logged in to MSN was december 2.And today is now 29!I know she is there,because the game she is playing says she keeps logging in like three times a week!At first I thought hmm okay she might be busy.But there was christmas.She didn't even give me a flippin care to come to MSN and say merry christmas or something like that,so it would have meant she didn't forget about me!If she had the time to login to the game,then I'm sure logging in to MSN for a few minutes wouldn't have caused her problems!
Today I logged in to the game just random,and I saw her there.Wrote to her three times,and eventually she logged off.Without saying a word.I felt ignored,I felt betrayed.I felt my heart was broken.She doesn't care about me anymore.I started to cry,and listened to a sad music.After accepting the fact I won't see her anymore,(Maybe here I overreacted)in anger I deleted her from MSN,deleted her pictures,and wrote her an e-mail where I said our relationship is over.Here I am,thinking about why she did this to me.Is is truly what I deserve after the things I've given to her,love,care,friendship?She just goes away without saying a proper goodbye?And there reason she ignores me?I don't flippin know!This is just simply frustrating,when I know I've done nothing wrong,and the person doesn't even care about you,to explain what's the problem.
Now you all might be thinking Aww comeon,it's was just an internet "friend",move on with your life.Easier said than done.She was my ONLY friend who cared about me.I can't get off her from my mind.I was planning to "celebrate" christmas,and new years with her.Guess I have to do it alone.
Thank you for reading.I am now feeling better I could write my feelings down.