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Old 07-30-2010, 04:35 AM   #1 (permalink)
 
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Default My dad is much closer to my brother than me, and it hurts.

So recently ive realised that my dad has a much better relationship with my brother (who is 1 year younger than me) than he does with me. Their both sociable, popular, outgoing people.....where as I am not. I notice that whenever i go over to my folks house (where my brother still lives) that they are always having in depth conversations about whatever, and are always laughing and joking with each other. When me and my dad talk, its just exchanging pleasantries and 'laughs & jokes' are at a minimum.

I spent the day with my brother one day last week and i noticed that my dad phoned him up at least 5 times and they spent quite a while talking, where as my dad rarely phones me and if he does, the phone call never last more than a minute.

Although my dad loves me, im sure he wishes that i was more like my brother, after all my brother is not socially inept like me, he has no trouble with women, and i have a lot of trouble with them. What kind of father would want a son that doesnt reproduce? Of course my brother is his favourite.


This is really starting to get to me....
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Old 07-30-2010, 04:58 AM   #2 (permalink)
 
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I have similar feelings. My dad actually talked to my sister more than me and he's not even her dad! We are half sisters! My mom died about 5years ago and he didnt find out until maybe 2 years ago. He likes to talk about her with my sister and makes me feel all bad because I can't really talk to some fool I don't even know for real! I do NOT know my dad but he wants to have full conversations?! WTF ever dude! Him and my sister laugh, joke and she tells him things that get me in trouble with him. He doesn't call much anymore but my lilttle half brother told me a few times he actually asked for Jasmine (thats my half sis name) and that killed me inside.
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Old 07-30-2010, 10:13 AM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Do you phone your dad? Maybe he thinks you don't like conversation that much.
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Old 07-30-2010, 10:27 AM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jessckuh View Post
I have similar feelings. My dad actually talked to my sister more than me and he's not even her dad! We are half sisters! My mom died about 5years ago and he didnt find out until maybe 2 years ago. He likes to talk about her with my sister and makes me feel all bad because I can't really talk to some fool I don't even know for real! I do NOT know my dad but he wants to have full conversations?! WTF ever dude! Him and my sister laugh, joke and she tells him things that get me in trouble with him. He doesn't call much anymore but my lilttle half brother told me a few times he actually asked for Jasmine (thats my half sis name) and that killed me inside.
I don't understand. You seem spiteful about the relationship your sister has with your dad. But at the same time, when he tries to have full conversations with you, you don't want that. Sounds like he would talk to you in the same way he talks to your sister if you let him.
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Old 07-30-2010, 10:32 AM   #5 (permalink)
 
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My dad was like that with one of my friends. He enjoyed my friends company because they were both outgoing and stuff and ignored me a lot. He even used to say that if I wasn't like my friend/him, I would never have any friends because no one would want to be around me.
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Old 07-30-2010, 10:33 AM   #6 (permalink)
 
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My mother is more chatty with my brother than me. But I know that its just because they have more compatible personalities, doesn't mean she loves us any differently. I wouldn't let it get to you..
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Old 07-30-2010, 10:43 AM   #7 (permalink)
 
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Same dealo with my mother and my brother. They talk.. sometimes. My mother isn t the warmest of persons. But they deff get along better then i do with her. It sucks, but I'm over it because I dont really care for either of them, so there!.. oh not about me, idk dude, i would suggest, reaching out to your dad more. and reaching out to your brother more to man, I mean think about it perhaps they both can help you be more open like they are (with out changing who you are of corse)

Just reach out to em, and maybe even ask for help could be a good way to connect.(???)
Yes, i think so
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Old 07-30-2010, 11:59 AM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Same.
I'm a tiny bit like "jessckuh", my sister isn't my real sister either, same mother, diff. dad's.
She doesn't really know her dad but gets along great with her step-father, so my real dad.
She's a lot older than me, 10 years or something, and I visited her last week, my dad had to pick me up in the evening, and he talked forever with my sister. No but at least half an hour. And they always talk and laugh and stuff.
But he NEVER I mean NEVER like NEVER (I think you all got that now..) laughed with me, nor had a real conversation. I really do try hard to get him to talk with me, but he just rejects every conversation I start. The only time we actually talk is in the car.. Like I say what happened at my sister's and he's just like "really? nice" or just doesn't say anything.
Or when it's dinnertime "come downstairs" then I have to get my food and go away again. We don't eat together.
It makes me feel like a failure, but what would I do other than life with the fact he will never really 'accept' me?
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Old 07-30-2010, 05:08 PM   #9 (permalink)
 
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don't let that get to you cus everyone is different and unique in their own way.

it is not really your true self why you feel this way but the feeling of being left out. not one likes that, but lets not get blind and see the turht.

just realize that your dad loves you and thats all that matters.

to get along with your dad like your brother does, it to stop being unique and start pretending to be your brother.

if that is what you want then start pretending.
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Old 01-01-2012, 12:01 AM   #10 (permalink)
 
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Default i need help :(

O.K.

so my brother is 8 years old and him and my dad get along like best friends... except i always feel i'm left out. i don't even think i can get have a friendly conversation with him anymore without my 8 year old brother getting involved and antagonising me. he always pushes my buttons and seems to get his way with absolutely everything, and nobody else in the house seems to see it. im starting to get really sick of it, and all i have been doing lately is just sitting in my room either listening to music, wasting time on a ps3 or writing music on my guitar. can somebody please help me out?
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Old 01-01-2012, 12:47 AM   #11 (permalink)
 
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My dad loves his nieces and nephews more than me and my brother. My mom has made it crystal clear to me since I could remember not to trust my dad, and that he only pretends to care about me so I'll support him when he's old. It used to hurt me because it feels like I don't have a real dad, and then it feels like I don't have a real mom either because what mother would say such things to her daughter? Even if it were true, she should be reassuring me that my dad loves me.

Anyways, as long as my older brother loves me, it doesn't matter who they prefer.
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Old 01-01-2012, 12:56 AM   #12 (permalink)
 
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A similar thing with me. My father has always been closer to my sister. He also appreciated her boyfriend (who was my age) more than me. He once (when I was like 19) compared me to my cousin (he is my age) and concluded that he was in a better situation than me (because he was social, outgoing, able to earn good money by manual work - even worked for my father). But I don't really care because I don't miss my father's attention. I'm glad not to be in touch with him too often.
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Old 01-26-2013, 01:13 PM   #13 (permalink)
 
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I know how you feel. I live in my sisters shadow. My own friends seem to like her better than me. When i got invited to my schools summer awards for debating, it was like my dad never cared. I recently got invited to my schools academic awards, neither my parents have congratulated me. I have given up and stopped caring. I love music and some forms of art, my family has not given me a chance, and they argue that she is a better artist than me, and that I should stick to books. They are always teasing my weight because I have a fast metabolism and I'm skinny. People are always buying my sister stuff, and it seems as if they forgot she has a brother. My dad is forever making offensive jokes about me. What to do? I have recently started ignoring my family...mainly my dad. I have stopped trying to impressing him, and have developed a F**k you attitude towards him when he shouts at me for no reason.
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Old 01-26-2013, 02:14 PM   #14 (permalink)
 
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I am eclipsed by both of my siblings. I can't even talk freely with my parents because my dad used to be super judgmental, but my sister doesn't even care. She can talk to anyone, and actually has a relationship with our parents. Because of my inability to talk to her, my mom things I don't like her. It sucks. A lot. On top of that, my sister is a social butterfly, who can make friends with anyone she wants to.

My brother actually has worse SA than me (He has agoraphobia), but he is an absolute genius. He has a genius's IQ and seems to know everything. My sister got all the athleticism and looks, so I'm basically left with nothing. My own parent's think I am judging/hate them.
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