Mid-30s & No Career. What to do?
I just posted this in the Crickets section because it specifically has to do with my "up there" age, but I figure I might as well put it here too since it's also about frustration and life sucking and all. So, here you go:
Hey, everybody. So I seriously think I may have set an all-time record for lack of participation in the work-force, unless you count career criminals, the mentally retarded and people committed to institutions. I'm in my mid-30s and have no work experience other than a handful of part-time jobs during my college days and one full-time gig seven years ago that lasted just short of a year. I've pretty much given up on having any sort of normal career path by now, not that I was ever very keen on the idea in the first place. I have very little ambition in that regard. The only "productive" thing I'm interested in is art and I've been hopelessly blocked and and stifled in that area for years. Luckily, I have no family to support, so I've been able to just get by monetarily by being extremely frugal and slowly chipping away at a reasonable sum of money I have saved up in a high interest-bearing account. I'm sure I could live like this for at least another decade, but I'm finding it harder and harder to fight off the nagging feeling that I'm wasting my life.
Up to now, I've always relied on a lazy-man's nihilistic attitude about work. I don't put all that much stock in careers as a form of self-fulfillment. I think most people have them just to make money (which is an obvious necessity) and to busy themselves until they can finally retire and die. I fear I might have finally outgrown this particular defense mechanism, however, and perhaps that's a good thing. Hiding from the normal goings-on of society for so many years has really done a number on my psyche. I feel like I can't relate to 99% of humanity anymore and that it would be next to impossible for me to plunge back into the rat race.
Seriously, what would an employer think of someone my age who can barely talk to other people and has a work record with more massive gaps than Canyonlands National Park? So what if I have a B.A., they'll still think I'm a loser/weirdo/psycho because no "normal" person would live they way I have for the past decade-and-a-half. I'd have to struggle painfully to explain myself and that would just be ridiculous. I can barely even talk to people as it is. I know they have special "back-to-work" programs for people recently released from prison and those re-integrating into society after spending time at the state mental facility. Why don't they have such a thing for sensitive people like me who just want to give normal life another shot in as gentle and painless a way as possible? Sadly, I think the only way someone in my position could ever find a job would be to have an "in" somewhere through a friend of family member. Well, I have no friends and my family is incapable of understanding anything about me, so it looks like I'm out of luck.
Anyway, that said, is there anyone else out there who can challenge me for the title of King of the Insanely Avoidant Weirdos? I'd hate to think that I'm really the supreme champion I imagine myself to be. There's gotta be someone else out there at least this *****ed up. Anyone? And any advice? Please help!