Social Anxiety Support

hushhush · 11-03-2009, 05:11 PM

I am about a month into a job, and it involves a lot of time spent on the phone talking to clients. I worried about this but I only need this job until law school so I am grinning (or trying to) and baring it.
But today my boss told me i need to be more "warm and fuzzy" on the phone and that i am monotone. She was nice about it, probably thinking it would hurt my feelings.
I don't know what to do about this - i have always been monotone. I contribute it to laziness, in part. It just takes energy for me to be enthusiastic and then adjust my voice. I also think a lot of people in my family are monotone...

that reminds me of a voice class i took in an effort to improve this. I didn't like the class because it made me feel hopeless. The teacher, and the rest of the students, would all declare how bad my voice is - there's no inflection; I mumble; oh, now you're trying too hard to pronounce each word, oh you're saying "glAAAss" wrong.... I felt like I was hopeless. Nothing I said was correct. It made me very sad to be in the class. it was criticism but something about it was not very helpful/constructive. They had lists of things i did wrong but didn't really offer me much help.
Or maybe I am one of those people who cannot accept criticism.
they said i have too much inflection in my voice and the next minute i am too monotone. I'm too nasally, and now i am too low, for a female....
WTF?!?

Anybody else have a hopelessly monotone voice? what'd you do to change it?

QuietMom · 11-03-2009, 08:03 PM

Yes, I have the same problem. I don't usually think about it, and then when I do notice it I feel really embarassed. My husband has pointed it out many times...I think it aggravates him because he can't hear me (no one can!). I have to make a HUGE effort to elevate and brighten my voice, and I find this very difficult. So, I usually just stick with the monotone. Although, usually when I'm on the phone with someone or speaking to someone I don't know, I find that I go into this automatic "acting" voice that is a little brighter--I think I developed this out of necessity when I worked as a switchboard operator in college.

I guess with my husband and other people I'm comfortable with, like you said, I'm just lazy about it!

Prakas · 11-03-2009, 09:18 PM

Same here, I just don't have the motivation to sound enthusiastic or change it. I let it just come out, reguardless of tone.

11-03-2009, 05:11 PM	#1 (permalink)
hushhush Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Gender: Female Posts: 88	me and my monotone voice I am about a month into a job, and it involves a lot of time spent on the phone talking to clients. I worried about this but I only need this job until law school so I am grinning (or trying to) and baring it. But today my boss told me i need to be more "warm and fuzzy" on the phone and that i am monotone. She was nice about it, probably thinking it would hurt my feelings. I don't know what to do about this - i have always been monotone. I contribute it to laziness, in part. It just takes energy for me to be enthusiastic and then adjust my voice. I also think a lot of people in my family are monotone... that reminds me of a voice class i took in an effort to improve this. I didn't like the class because it made me feel hopeless. The teacher, and the rest of the students, would all declare how bad my voice is - there's no inflection; I mumble; oh, now you're trying too hard to pronounce each word, oh you're saying "glAAAss" wrong.... I felt like I was hopeless. Nothing I said was correct. It made me very sad to be in the class. it was criticism but something about it was not very helpful/constructive. They had lists of things i did wrong but didn't really offer me much help. Or maybe I am one of those people who cannot accept criticism. they said i have too much inflection in my voice and the next minute i am too monotone. I'm too nasally, and now i am too low, for a female.... WTF?!? Anybody else have a hopelessly monotone voice? what'd you do to change it?

11-03-2009, 08:03 PM	#2 (permalink)
QuietMom Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 5	Yes, I have the same problem. I don't usually think about it, and then when I do notice it I feel really embarassed. My husband has pointed it out many times...I think it aggravates him because he can't hear me (no one can!). I have to make a HUGE effort to elevate and brighten my voice, and I find this very difficult. So, I usually just stick with the monotone. Although, usually when I'm on the phone with someone or speaking to someone I don't know, I find that I go into this automatic "acting" voice that is a little brighter--I think I developed this out of necessity when I worked as a switchboard operator in college. I guess with my husband and other people I'm comfortable with, like you said, I'm just lazy about it!

11-03-2009, 09:18 PM	#3 (permalink)
Prakas Status: Failure - Life Sucks Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Delaware Gender: Male Age: 21 Posts: 427	Same here, I just don't have the motivation to sound enthusiastic or change it. I let it just come out, reguardless of tone.