making friends or getting into relationships is so hard.... - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-18-2009, 12:36 PM Thread Starter
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making friends or getting into relationships is so hard....

its so frustrating, every time i meet someone new, things start off great but after a while i sense people starting to get annoyed with me or something...they say stuff like "we gotta get you out of that shyness or you're too quiet" i recently met this new guy and we went out on 2 dates so far...and i can see him losing interest quickly, he said hes still interested in me but i just gotta "talk more",.....this always happens to me...every time i want to make a friend or be in a relationship it never last...i feel like i never will make any lasting friendships because i'm always too quiet and my SA always gets in the way...its soo frustrating..i really do like people and want to talk to them, but its just so hard...has anybody had a good expierience meeting new people?
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-18-2009, 12:55 PM
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Hey, I think it's great you even have relationships with SA I haven't been that lucky ever. I mean, what girl is going to want a guy who spends his time playing games and slacking off. I really wish people didn't find me sooo boring
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-18-2009, 01:41 PM
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I know how you feel. I've never had a close friendship with anyone and would really love to, but I just have so much trouble opening up to others. Even when I get a slight chance to make a friend, my SA just messes it up for me. I often lose hope, and believe that I'll never be able to develop a good friendship with anyone.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-18-2009, 02:09 PM
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One of my biggest fears is losing a possible relationship due to SA. I wish people could at least give us time to open up to them.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 11-18-2009, 06:52 PM
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I relate to the OP so much. I would love to date someone like me that doesn't need to talk all the time and understands that I can be engaged in the situation and have fun by being silent some of the time. But some girls stay there quiet and if you don't talk that means they get bored and end up dumping you. So I try to date really extroverted and talkative girls, because then I can say one thing and they will continue on and maintain a conversation, be it about themselves, but still a conversation that you are apart of and seem engaged in, even though you probably could care less about how much of a bi tch her little sister is.

God I hate dating so much. I am glad I stopped until I am done with school. The last thing I need to be stressing over while having to study is worrying about keeping a girls attention enough so she won't get sick of me and dump me. I swear that is all I think of when I date, because I don't want to seem detached by not maintaing a good amount of contact, but I also don't want to come off as a desperate creep or something. I swear it has been one or the other in every relationship I have ever had.

I am looking forward to dating girls in my mid-thirties. I think I will have my sh it together by then and might even be quite a catch. Hopefully the party-girl mentality will be dead by then because I cannot date another girl that gets drunk constantly or thinks that the ultimate college experience is banging a new guy every few weeks.
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