Social Anxiety Support

Dominic83 · 11-04-2009, 07:09 PM

Hey everyone, I'm a newbie here, hope you're doing ok

I've had social anxiety as long as I can remember, but only now have I realised that's what it is. At school I was always really scared of social situations, and was always really quiet. I was labelled as 'shy' by my teachers and parents, and that probably didn't help me!
My whole life I've always been scared of interacting with new people, and my self esteem has slowly been eroded bit by bit. I now have no self esteem whatsoever, I don't really like myself, and have very little self confidence. I feel like everyone hates me and people are constantly judging me and my actions or staring at me, and I hate going anywhere by myself, at least if I'm with a friend I can feel slightly more like myself, and a bit more comfortable. I fear I may embarrass myself all the time, so I avoid any situations that could trigger that. I failed university because I feared embarrassing myself in lectures and in class, so I just stopped attending them after a while, and stayed in my student house most of the time.
I constantly feel I'm worthless, and need to punish myself all the time, denying myself things like meeting up with friends. I've just lost my job, and after six weeks, have yet to find another, as I'm too scared to go for job interviews. I've only had one girlfriend, and for those four months I was happy, I had hope. I was able to be myself. But that was because I became dependent on her for my confidence, not a good thing! I've been on one date since, but screwed it up by having three panic attacks.
I was briefly able to see the person I can be, five years ago, when I took ecstasy a few times. It let me truly be myself, and I liked myself, it temporarily rid me of my anxiety. But I couldn't rely on a drug, and I stopped taking it. But I need to be that person again, whilst sober.
I tried hypnotherapy, but after four sessions the hypnotherapist said he couldn't identify the cause of my problems, and gave up on me. I'm now at my lowest ebb, this has become completely debilitating for me now, I never thought it could get this bad.
My life is no longer controlled by me, it's controlled by this illness.

I know I've rambled on a bit there, but if anyone could offer any advice whatsoever, I would be eternally grateful

glarmph · 11-04-2009, 07:12 PM

floatsam · 11-04-2009, 08:15 PM

Hello Buddy! First off I'm glad you realized that it's SA that's been plaguing you all these years. I know that feeling. That suffering. I actually saw an ad about SA and then realized that it's an actual illness. It actually took me more than an year after that to muster some courage and go for therapy. Therapy was definitely helpful for me. It concentrates on exposing you to the anxious situations slowly and gradually.
It is not easy but you will be able to handle the situation better and realize that most of the fears are not true. Books by author David Burns are also pretty helpful. They are about anxiety and depression. Best of luck buddy! Hang in there..

11-04-2009, 07:09 PM	#1 (permalink)
Dominic83 Status: SAS Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: UK Gender: Male Age: 26 Posts: 1	Lowest ebb Hey everyone, I'm a newbie here, hope you're doing ok I've had social anxiety as long as I can remember, but only now have I realised that's what it is. At school I was always really scared of social situations, and was always really quiet. I was labelled as 'shy' by my teachers and parents, and that probably didn't help me! My whole life I've always been scared of interacting with new people, and my self esteem has slowly been eroded bit by bit. I now have no self esteem whatsoever, I don't really like myself, and have very little self confidence. I feel like everyone hates me and people are constantly judging me and my actions or staring at me, and I hate going anywhere by myself, at least if I'm with a friend I can feel slightly more like myself, and a bit more comfortable. I fear I may embarrass myself all the time, so I avoid any situations that could trigger that. I failed university because I feared embarrassing myself in lectures and in class, so I just stopped attending them after a while, and stayed in my student house most of the time. I constantly feel I'm worthless, and need to punish myself all the time, denying myself things like meeting up with friends. I've just lost my job, and after six weeks, have yet to find another, as I'm too scared to go for job interviews. I've only had one girlfriend, and for those four months I was happy, I had hope. I was able to be myself. But that was because I became dependent on her for my confidence, not a good thing! I've been on one date since, but screwed it up by having three panic attacks. I was briefly able to see the person I can be, five years ago, when I took ecstasy a few times. It let me truly be myself, and I liked myself, it temporarily rid me of my anxiety. But I couldn't rely on a drug, and I stopped taking it. But I need to be that person again, whilst sober. I tried hypnotherapy, but after four sessions the hypnotherapist said he couldn't identify the cause of my problems, and gave up on me. I'm now at my lowest ebb, this has become completely debilitating for me now, I never thought it could get this bad. My life is no longer controlled by me, it's controlled by this illness. I know I've rambled on a bit there, but if anyone could offer any advice whatsoever, I would be eternally grateful

11-04-2009, 07:12 PM	#2 (permalink)
glarmph Status: Hiding in my basement Join Date: May 2009 Location: Illinois Gender: Male Age: 25 Posts: 243	__________________ Life sucks, then you die.

11-04-2009, 08:15 PM	#3 (permalink)
floatsam Status: SAS Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 2	Hello Buddy! First off I'm glad you realized that it's SA that's been plaguing you all these years. I know that feeling. That suffering. I actually saw an ad about SA and then realized that it's an actual illness. It actually took me more than an year after that to muster some courage and go for therapy. Therapy was definitely helpful for me. It concentrates on exposing you to the anxious situations slowly and gradually. It is not easy but you will be able to handle the situation better and realize that most of the fears are not true. Books by author David Burns are also pretty helpful. They are about anxiety and depression. Best of luck buddy! Hang in there..