Lashing out (longish) - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 07-23-2010, 08:04 PM Thread Starter
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Lashing out (longish)

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Last edited by Alongroadforsomedude; 09-05-2010 at 02:10 PM. Reason: !
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 07-23-2010, 08:32 PM
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I get you on the whole rage thing. There's been so many times were my rage has reach a point of unbearable frustration. Especially when I go out and i'm constantly reminded of the thing i'll never achieve or get. The bitterness is the worse for me, it turns me into a monster. I hate seeing happy people and I get "evil thought". Paranoia also contributes to these thoughts because I can't walk near a group and not think they're talking or laughing at me.

It sucks dude, I feel ya.

Have you ever try lifting weights? I dont know, for me lifting weights gets rid of the anger and clears my mind. Also building my muscle helps my confidence.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 07-23-2010, 09:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Alongroadforsomedude View Post
I dont really even know who to tell this to or how to explain it. I feel like im always holding back so much anger. Im so bitter about women, jobs and social status. Its probably my SA but also partially my personality.

I really cant even explain how bitter and hatefull I am sometimes. Its worse when im around people and whats worse is my job IS TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE.
Im exaughsted by sexual frustration and rage issues. Im tired of trying not to lash out at people all the time.

I havnt ever hurt anyone but I feel like its destroying my body to hold it in all the time. (joging and punching bags dont help because they dont feel) It also contributes to my paranoia issues that are related to my SA.
I feel like screaming every time i see a woman im attracted to and punching anyone who looks at me sideways.

Im exaughsted trying to pretend to the best of my ability that im not always angry and losing my mind. Im tired of feeling this way all the time. I can never sleep either because when im about to fall asleep I often wake out of it in a rage.

I really need a new job more suited for me and probably need to see a psychologist because this post is only the least of it. I just dont have the energy to look for other jobs or think about doing anything to help my self half the time. I cant quit my job because I live with my parents and they are beyond frustrated with my issues. Im also afraid of losing my job because Im always becoming paranoid and enraged at work.

Its a cycle of being enraged and drained and depressed and never sleeping.
Im sorta traped and dont know how to get out of it. I will not take any medications because they always cause erectile disfunction and I have tryed almost all of them. I have almost nothing in my life and im not going to walk around like a dickless zombie as a last resort.

I would smoke weed and live with the hippies for a few years until I got all this out of my system.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 07-23-2010, 09:57 PM
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(how did you get the word 'dickless' past the word filter? let's see if it works for me)

You can use this emotion in a positive or negative way.
You say you don't have the energy to look for a new job, but you have the energy to be hateful and bitter? that's not a natural state of mind, I believe it requires some energy to continue to feel this way.

Think long and hard about the concept of being angry at something else. Those women aren't responsible for your pain for example so why should you be angry at them? instead redirect the emotion at the things holding you back - lack of a better job, or anxiety, or whatever. Consider this as a thing separate from yourself. Then do your best to kill it. Sounds a bit counterintuitive to say the least, but it's led me out of long-term treatment-resistant depression, 1995-2009, requiesat in pace mother****er, and enabled me to take serious steps against social anxiety. Killed my awkwardness about phone conversations for instance, there are other examples.

Here's a simple example: for a very long time I was very obese. I am now less obese and shrinking quickly. What enabled this after over ten years of not giving a damn was calling the lethargy and laziness that've made me fat enemies, and trying to undo them. Obviously I can't attack directly with hammer and pliers..well, I could, but I've a feeling it wouldn't go very well.. so the method is indirect, exercise.

Certain Buddhist ideas about the nature of the self, as not a monolithic thing, might be helpful here. Jung also, specifically stuff pertaining to archetypes like the Shadow. Such CBT thougt isolation and stopping techniques as you can grasp, too.

And then all the anger and all the hate you can summon will only help you. Godspeed.
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