Social Anxiety Support

Aether · 11-02-2009, 06:57 AM

I have some problems with social anxiety now and then, so I've decided to come to a forum and talk to others about it. They aren't too major, but I wanted to post my thoughts somewhere.

Anyway, where to start? Well, I guess the easiest thing to do is just to describe the problem. I have always had some difficulties in public situation. Well, in a certain context. When I'm with friends, everything is all right. I like to talk to them, do things with them, and I just like to be around them in general. When I'm with them, I feel like I can be myself.

However, when they aren't around and I find myself public situations, a lot of the times, I feel overwhelmed. I try my best to talk to others, but many times it just feels like I can't fully be myself. I find difficulties in expressing myself, and beyond that, I find it difficult to maintain conversations with others. I just don't know what to say, or rather, I find what is commonly being talked about just not that interesting. Sometimes, when I am in a cafeteria or such, I just try to eat quickly, so I can get out and find a place to be alone.

I guess what it really comes down to is me being an introvert. I really value time to myself. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate other people or anything like that, but I need time where I can gather my thoughts and not have to worry about trying to carry on conversations and the likes.

I don't by any means hate the way I am. Honestly, I think it would be rather troublesome if I always had to have somebody to talk to. But, the thing is, sometimes I wish I was better at dealing with social situations. I mean, I like meeting new people, and I would love to make new friends, but I just find it difficult and often times exhausting. In places with a lot of people, I just feel like I am under pressure.

Well, I'm not sure what else to say. I apologize for rambling on, but I like I said, I just wanted to put my thoughts out there. I'm not exactly seeking advice or the sort, but people can feel free to comment.

CrashMedicate · 11-02-2009, 07:37 AM

Welcome, and no need to apologize for anything. You struggle with the same things a lot of people struggle with. Just remember that you're not alone.

Oneiros · 11-02-2009, 07:43 AM

Hi Aether, thanks for sharing.

I think many people here feel the same way as you. I don't have bad SA myself, to the point where it's debilitating, but when out alone I also get overwhelmed sometimes. I will generally avoid situations where I've felt uncomfortable, like eating in a food hall, etc.

It's very good that you don't hate yourself for being this way. That's something that a lot of people struggle with, I think. Something I'm learning slowly is to make allowances for feeling anxious, and accepting it. Fighting with it only makes things much harder, although I fought within myself for a long time.

The difficulty in our society is that introverts are looked down upon. People who are like this need to find their own way, aside from the pressures that society places on them, I think.

oh, and

Aether · 11-02-2009, 06:13 PM

Thanks for the replies.

Yeah, I understand the comment about introverts being looked down on in society. When I am with a group of people sometimes I end up being asked with I am feeling okay because I haven't been talking too much. I don't really like comments like that. It is like saying that if someone doesn't talk much there is something wrong with them.

In any case, I have been doing something similar to you Oneiros. The slowly making allowances for feeling anxious. Lately, at lunch I have been trying to eat with a school group that kinda sponsors a lunch time where students can get to know each other. There is still around 30-40 people there, but it is a lot less than the lunch room. I figure that even though it is not much, it is a start. It is a way I can try to talk with others.

One good thing that has come out of the group so far is that I ended up going on a one day trip they were hosting. I was hesitant to go at first, but they convinced me, and I ended up having a lot of fun.

I guess the motto I have been trying to tell to myself lately is to try and do things even if they aren't in my comfort zone right away. For if they turn out bad, I always have the option of leaving, but there is always a chance that something good will come of them.

Ing · 11-02-2009, 06:39 PM

That's great that you are making progress, and I really agree with getting out of your comfort zone and taking chances; it just takes a lot of work.

Even though introverts are looked down upon more than extroverts, I still think it would be nice to be an introvert without social anxiety. I had a communications teacher who said he was an introvert. The whole class was surprised because he was a very good speaker and his lectures were very insightful. Introverts just need more alone time and are generally uncomfortable in really large groups, but social anxiety impairs us from communicating and affects our self esteem.

11-02-2009, 06:57 AM	#1 (permalink)
Aether Status: SAS Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 19	Just How Things Are I have some problems with social anxiety now and then, so I've decided to come to a forum and talk to others about it. They aren't too major, but I wanted to post my thoughts somewhere. Anyway, where to start? Well, I guess the easiest thing to do is just to describe the problem. I have always had some difficulties in public situation. Well, in a certain context. When I'm with friends, everything is all right. I like to talk to them, do things with them, and I just like to be around them in general. When I'm with them, I feel like I can be myself. However, when they aren't around and I find myself public situations, a lot of the times, I feel overwhelmed. I try my best to talk to others, but many times it just feels like I can't fully be myself. I find difficulties in expressing myself, and beyond that, I find it difficult to maintain conversations with others. I just don't know what to say, or rather, I find what is commonly being talked about just not that interesting. Sometimes, when I am in a cafeteria or such, I just try to eat quickly, so I can get out and find a place to be alone. I guess what it really comes down to is me being an introvert. I really value time to myself. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate other people or anything like that, but I need time where I can gather my thoughts and not have to worry about trying to carry on conversations and the likes. I don't by any means hate the way I am. Honestly, I think it would be rather troublesome if I always had to have somebody to talk to. But, the thing is, sometimes I wish I was better at dealing with social situations. I mean, I like meeting new people, and I would love to make new friends, but I just find it difficult and often times exhausting. In places with a lot of people, I just feel like I am under pressure. Well, I'm not sure what else to say. I apologize for rambling on, but I like I said, I just wanted to put my thoughts out there. I'm not exactly seeking advice or the sort, but people can feel free to comment.

11-02-2009, 07:37 AM	#2 (permalink)
CrashMedicate Status: Racing through life Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Riiiight here. Gender: Male Age: 24 Posts: 205	Welcome, and no need to apologize for anything. You struggle with the same things a lot of people struggle with. Just remember that you're not alone. __________________ A man has to have goals. A man without goals is like a car without steering. You're going to crash.

11-02-2009, 07:43 AM	#3 (permalink)
Oneiros Status: Temporarily Banned Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Brisbane, Australia Gender: Male Age: 23 Posts: 87	Hi Aether, thanks for sharing. I think many people here feel the same way as you. I don't have bad SA myself, to the point where it's debilitating, but when out alone I also get overwhelmed sometimes. I will generally avoid situations where I've felt uncomfortable, like eating in a food hall, etc. It's very good that you don't hate yourself for being this way. That's something that a lot of people struggle with, I think. Something I'm learning slowly is to make allowances for feeling anxious, and accepting it. Fighting with it only makes things much harder, although I fought within myself for a long time. The difficulty in our society is that introverts are looked down upon. People who are like this need to find their own way, aside from the pressures that society places on them, I think. oh, and

11-02-2009, 06:13 PM	#4 (permalink)
Aether Status: SAS Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 19	Thanks for the replies. Yeah, I understand the comment about introverts being looked down on in society. When I am with a group of people sometimes I end up being asked with I am feeling okay because I haven't been talking too much. I don't really like comments like that. It is like saying that if someone doesn't talk much there is something wrong with them. In any case, I have been doing something similar to you Oneiros. The slowly making allowances for feeling anxious. Lately, at lunch I have been trying to eat with a school group that kinda sponsors a lunch time where students can get to know each other. There is still around 30-40 people there, but it is a lot less than the lunch room. I figure that even though it is not much, it is a start. It is a way I can try to talk with others. One good thing that has come out of the group so far is that I ended up going on a one day trip they were hosting. I was hesitant to go at first, but they convinced me, and I ended up having a lot of fun. I guess the motto I have been trying to tell to myself lately is to try and do things even if they aren't in my comfort zone right away. For if they turn out bad, I always have the option of leaving, but there is always a chance that something good will come of them.

11-02-2009, 06:39 PM	#5 (permalink)
Ing Status: SAS Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: United States Gender: Female Age: 19 Posts: 61	That's great that you are making progress, and I really agree with getting out of your comfort zone and taking chances; it just takes a lot of work. Even though introverts are looked down upon more than extroverts, I still think it would be nice to be an introvert without social anxiety. I had a communications teacher who said he was an introvert. The whole class was surprised because he was a very good speaker and his lectures were very insightful. Introverts just need more alone time and are generally uncomfortable in really large groups, but social anxiety impairs us from communicating and affects our self esteem.